Everything You Need to Know About the Grammar of Swearing

Potty-mouthed grammar nerds of the world, unite.

Written by Taylor Dennis

Introduction

I was in a fight with a fellow introvert the other day. (It’s rare, but it does happen.)

Anyway, this companion of mine happens to take his grammar pedantry pretty seriously, so I’m always on my grammatical guard around him lest he correct me for an accidental slip up.

Because we were fighting over the use of the serial comma (what else?), things got pretty heated between us. As two young language buffs, we both tend to take advantage of all the words available in a fight, even those that might not be so acceptable in what some call “polite company.”

We’ve both been known to use what can only be described as “inventive” curses in the past — especially when discussing controversial matters of punctuation.

I was just about to fly into a cuss-filled rage at him when it happened. As the first fff- sound slipped from my lips, I found myself stopping to ponder:

Is what I am about to say grammatically correct?

That, dear reader, is the story of how this exploration of the grammar of swearing began. I invite you to join me now as I explore the history, nature, and future of swearing in both writing and speech.

The Etymology of the Top 7 Curse Words

We’ll start where one should always start: at the beginning, of course.

First, we’ll look at the origins and etymology of your favorite curse words, and we’ll keep the history lesson going by examining the role swearing has historically played in written work.

After that, the real fun will begin, when we examine how swear words fit linguistically into the English language.

To finish, I’ll teach you the best way to use swearing in your own writing.

Note: This article was originally published as a series at Scribendi.com.

Curse like a Sailor, Study like a Scholar

Are you ready for your most risqué English lesson ever?

I promise not to curse at you or offend, but I will be introducing the following seven words using — gasp! — their actual spelling.

No dashes, stars, or hashtags will be included to shield your delicate eyes, but considering it’s all in the name of learning, it’s okay!

Fun Fact: Did you know that the combination of various symbols to represent an obscenity — like this: %@#$^! — is called a grawlix?)

The main definitions provided for each word have been taken from the Oxford Dictionary of English.

1. Shit

Origin: Old English scitte (“diorrhoea”), of Germanic origin; related to Dutch schijten, German scheissen (verb).

The Dutch and German words from whence shit came share the same meaning as the English word; that is, they all essentially mean “poop” or “to poop.”

They don’t mean “to defecate,” as that word is a bit too classy and non-vulgar to really reflect the meaning of shit.

Some more interesting history for you: the words from which shit originates come from even older words meaning “to part with, separate, or cut off.” (Don’t think about that one too much.) Even more interesting is the fact that the word shit actually used to be neutral, with no vulgar connotations.

Of course, there are many other ways to use the word shit as an expletive. Here are some examples of contexts in which the word can be used:

• Oh no — I stepped in dog shit.
• He’s behaving like a little shit.
• Don’t you dare give me that shit.
• This is a really shitty movie.
• Don’t touch my shit!

2. Piss

Origin: Middle English, from Old French pisser, probably of imitative origin.

In keeping with our theme of bodily waste, we have piss, a relatively mild swear word, but definitely not something you’d like your grandmother to hear you say.

The origin story for this one is pretty boring, but here’s another little tidbit for you: the Old French pisser seems to refer not to urine itself, but to that which dispels the urine.

It essentially means “one who pisses” or “that which pisses,” meaning it can refer to either a person or a certain male appendage that I could certainly come up with some vulgar words for.

As with shit, there are many creative ways to use piss as a swear word.

• I need to take a piss.
• That cat just pissed all over the carpet.
• Oh, piss off!
• I’m so pissed that you just ate my last French fry.

3. Ass

Origin: Variant of arse. Old English ærs, of Germanic origin; related to Dutch aars and German arsch.

Depending on where you live, ass or arse may be the more common variant of this word. While this word doesn’t refer to excretion itself, it does of course refer to the body part responsible for that particularly unpleasant (but very necessary) function, and thus is the butt (pun intended) of many jokes and insults.

A donkey is also known as an ass after its Latin subgenus name, Asinus, and ass is often used as an insult essentially meaning “a stupid or foolish person.”

This is completely separate from its bum-related meaning. It should be noted that, while it is not at all insulting to call a donkey an ass, it would be quite rude to tell a donkey that it has a fat ass.

• He fell right on his ass.
• Don’t be such an ass.
• That asshole called me ugly!

4. Hell

Origin: Old English hel, hell, of Germanic origin; related to Dutch hel and German Hölle, from an Indo-European root meaning “to cover or hide.”

Most swear words have to do with three things: bodily functions, God, or sex. We covered the bodily functions with the first two, and now we’re onto blasphemy.

It’s interesting to think of how the meaning of hell has evolved over time. Though the details are highly debated by theologians and internet trolls alike, the basic meaning of Hell in the Christian faith is a place or state of eternal suffering and separation from God.

As a swear word, however, hell has many more meanings. For some reason, it’s a relatively mild expletive, so you’re likely to hear it crop up fairly often.

• Who in the hell do you think you are?
• Go to Hell!
• What the hell is going on here?

5. Damn

Origin: Middle English, from Old French dam(p)ner, from Latin dam(p)nare “to inflict loss on,” from damnum “loss, damage.”

If you’re headed to Hell in a handbasket, how do you get there? And what are you once you’re there? You’re damned, of course.

You can understand why damning someone to Hell — in other words, wishing them to suffer great pain and agony for the rest of eternity — is a pretty insulting thing to say.

However, much like hell, damn is not a very strong or harsh swear word compared to others. Isn’t English weird?

• Oh, damn it! Damn it to Hell!
• Damn, I forgot my keys.
• Oh, damn it, I’m late again.

6. Bitch

Origin: Old English bicce, of Germanic origin.

The Old English bicce comes from even older root words that all mean the same thing: a female dog. The word bitch still does mean “female dog” and is used in its literal sense in many different animal-related contexts.

However, it has also evolved as an insulting term used to refer to an unpleasant woman. Bitch used to be one of the most insulting things to call a woman — consider, after all, the implications of saying someone is behaving like “a bitch in heat.”

Not only are you reducing the person to dog status, but you are also commenting on the person’s reproductive cycle. This certainly did not fly in the more conservative societies of days past.

Today, however, bitch has a wide variety of meanings, some of which actually have positive connotations.

• She was being so rude to me. She’s such a bitch.
• Quit your bitching and get your work done.
• You think you’re smarter than I am? Bitch, please! I have a Ph.D. from Harvard.
• Bad bitches like me are hard to come by.
• Bitches get stuff done!

7. Fuck

Origin: Early 16th century, of Germanic origin (compare with Swedish dialect focka and Dutch dialect fokkelen); possibly from an Indo-European root meaning “strike,” shared by Latin pungus, meaning “fist.”

This is the big one.

Well, one of the big ones. The other big ones were a bit too big for us to put in print.

In modern speech and writing, the word fuck is almost as offensive as you can get.

Of course, that doesn’t stop most people from using it creatively on a regular basis, but it does keep this word contained to HBO dramas about medieval warfare and albums labeled “Explicit.”

The word fuck can be used in a number of colorful ways, but its definition comes down to the act of sexual intercourse.

Although fuck has, in the past, been cited as an acronym for “Fornication Under Consent of the King” or “For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge,” this origin can safely be dismissed as an urban legend.

Isn’t it interesting that in today’s world, it’s more offensive to refer to copulation in a vulgar way than it is to wish eternal damnation on someone? I personally think our priorities are a bit out of whack on this one, but alas, I don’t make the rules.

• What the fuck are you doing?
• Oh, fuck! I stubbed my toe!
• I’m so fucking tired.
• That is fucked up.

A History of Swearing and Censorship in Writing

Now that you’re apprised of the origins of your favorite curse words, it’s time to continue our awesome exploration of swearing by looking at the role historically played by swearing in written work.

It’s going to be effin’ awesome.

So, what are we waiting for? Obscenity laws and Victorian prudes await!

A Brief History of Swearing in Writing

Have you ever had someone tell you that “kids these days” swear more than the young adults of days past?

Maybe your grandfather has expressed disbelief at the expletives he’s heard of late, or perhaps your great aunt regularly comments on how polite conversation is firmly on its way out.

Well, you can tell them that people have been laughing at their own sacrilege, bodily functions, and sexuality for as long as language has existed.

That’s right. Swearing in spoken speech has always been a thing, and it has always been offensive.

Though censorship and decency laws have changed drastically over the years, thereby affecting the use of swear words in published works, I can guarantee you that people have always sworn — even your grandfather.

Book Banning and Obscenity

The rules about using offensive language in writing have evolved over time.

Consider, for example, the literary classic we all know and love — that incorrigible work of fanfiction, Fifty Shades of Grey.

This incredibly popular book has sold over 125 million copies worldwide since being published in 2011. But Fifty Shades isn’t the only work of erotic fiction out there. Indeed, there is an entire thriving genre of literature resting solely on its sex-based laurels.

And while today’s sexually liberal society may be cool with characters who exist solely to copulate like bunnies, all we have to do is go back about 60 years to see how not cool people used to be with the erotic fiction scene.

By today’s standards, Lady Chatterley’s Lover is a very tame book.

Sure, D.H. Lawrence tells the story of a married lady having an affair with a lower-class man. Yes, there are scenes in which the two do the deed in his shack. And okay, a few choice expletives are used to describe said deed and the parts used to perform it.

But Lady Chatterley’s Lover is not just about sex. It’s a story about repression, about classism in British society, and about the importance of having an attractive gamekeeper just in case you should find yourself experiencing a quarter-life crisis.

Were the book published today, no one would even blink an eye at the sexual content.

Not the case in 1928, I’m afraid.

The British government said, “No way in hell are we letting people read this shit” (or, perhaps more accurately, “Oh, heavens no!”), and Lady Chatterley’s Lover was put on the shelf in the UK until 1960.

Then, under the Obscene Publications Act 1959, the British government charged Penguin, the book’s publisher, for having published obscene material.

Penguin won the case, and the rest, as they say, is history.

There are lots of other historical examples of books being banned for containing obscene content, and many of these examples have to do with expletives being used in the writing.

Though the rules are different in the United States than in Britain, both countries have historically shared the sentiment that people simply do not need to be exposed to offensive language. Catch-22, Tropic of Cancer, and Naked Lunch are all examples of books that have been banned at one time for being obscene.

Obscenity and Profanity in Writing Today

Obscenity laws still exist in the Western world. However, enforcement of these laws has changed.

Obscenity is difficult to define.

It’s almost impossible to avoid offending one person without restricting the freedom of expression of another. For the creator of a work to be convicted of obscenity, that work must lack value, whether literary, artistic, scientific, or political.

You know what they say: one person’s smut is another person’s magnum opus.

The erotica genre doesn’t qualify as obscene because it is a form of literature or art. A book full of cursing won’t get you into much trouble anymore, either.

If you want to drop f-bombs and poop metaphors to get your point across, go for it.

Restricting the language used in books is especially difficult, because — unlike with other media, like radio broadcasts — people can generally choose what they want to read. If you don’t like that asshole Christian Grey and his sadomasochistic bullshit, the solution is simple: don’t read Fifty Shades of Grey.

Still, “offensive” books sometimes manage to find themselves the topic of debate and outrage. Consider Twain’s classic American novel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Angry parents still stomp their feet when this novel finds its way onto their child’s English class syllabus.

The racially charged language used in this 1885 satire clashes awkwardly with modern-day morals, and even though the book was published over 130 years ago, no one has quite decided yet whether Twain was actually being a brilliant satirist or a racist bigot (or both).

But while school boards and PTAs everywhere can argue the merits of exposing young adults to topics that may make them uncomfortable, they can’t ban adults from reading books, and ultimately, they can’t ban their children from accessing obscene material for very long, either.

How to Swear: Understanding the Grammar of the Top 7 Curse Words

Okay. We’ve covered the etymology and history of swearing. It’s now time to look at the modern usage of the most awesome curses at your disposal.

It turns out, the most useful swear words are those that are the most grammatically versatile.

Swear Words as Parts of Speech

Generally speaking, the more parts of speech a swear word can act as, the more useful it is.

Makes sense, right?

As a giant nerd (don’t worry — it’s a compliment), you can feel good knowing that even your most profane speech is grammatically correct.

Most swear words can act as nouns, verbs, and of course, interjections. In their modified forms, they can even act as adjectives. Take a look at these examples.

• Noun: The attic was full of shit.
• Verb: I went to the woods to shit.
• Interjection: Oh, shit! I missed the bus!
• Adjective: That was a shit movie.
• Adjective (Modified): What a shitty day this has been.

The more common a swear word is, the more likely it is to have a greater variety of forms — or is it the other way around?

Either way, if we’re measuring the greatness of a swear word by its number of uses, a certain f-bomb most certainly takes the cake:

• Noun: I don’t give a fuck.
• Verb: Don’t fuck around with fire.
• Interjection: Fuck! That hurt!
• Adverb: Fuck yeah, I’ll be your best man!
• Adjective (Modified): That’s fucking awesome.
• Pronoun (Modified): I’ve accomplished fuck-all tonight.

While it probably can’t serve as a conjunction, article, or preposition, fuck works nicely as the other six parts of speech.

Why You Should Understand How to Use Swear Words

Because swear words can work as so many different parts of speech, there are countless ways to integrate them into different sentences.

Even putting aside variations of swear words (think asshole, fuckface, and shithead), integrating standard swear words seamlessly into speech can be a difficult task for someone who is not a native speaker of English.

As with other aspects of language, the rules and conventions of swearing vary depending on the language being spoken.

There may be no way to directly translate some of the most popular curses in another language into English, as the translation may be either not offensive at all or far more offensive than the original meaning.

For example, in Quebec French, the word equivalent in harshness to an English f-bomb literally translates to tabernacle (a biblical term; essentially a small, sacred place or sanctuary).

Knowing how to use English swear words properly indicates that you have a strong command not only of the English language, but also of the region in which you are speaking it. A word can be incredibly offensive in Toronto, Canada, but perfectly acceptable for daily use in Sydney, Australia.

Even understanding where to put a swear word in a sentence or which form of a swear word to use demonstrates familiarity with the English language. For example:

Correct: What the fuck was that?
Incorrect: What fuck was that?

Correct: I fell on my ass.
Incorrect: I fell on my asshole.

Correct: Abso-fuckin’-lutely!
Incorrect: Abso-fuck-lutely!

Correct: The cat pissed all over the place.
Incorrect: The cat is pissy all over the place.

It should be noted that the last example of incorrect usage actually expresses a completely different meaning than intended, as pissy means grumpy or bad-tempered. So, although it doesn’t capture the speaker’s intended meaning, the phrase is likely still accurate (as we all know that the pissiness of a cat knows no bounds.)

How to Use Expletives Effectively in Your Writing

There are many correct ways to use your favorite swear words, and at times, these words can come in very handy. But understanding how swear words should be used doesn’t necessarily mean that you should use them all the time.

This section will teach you when it is okay to swear in your writing and when it is abso-frickin’-lutely not okay.

Swearing in Academic Writing

Don’t do it.

Ever.

Unless you are writing a thesis about the linguistics of swearing or quoting something else that contains swearing, there is no reason for the use of profanity in your academic writing.

I know — school is boring.

Swearing in Personal Correspondence

How you talk to your friends is your business, but keep this in mind: something that is intended as light-hearted or humorous can easily come off as harsh and mean when in writing, and adding profanity can be a sure way to cause miscommunication.

Consider these two similar situations.

Situation 1: You are hanging out with your best friend. She admits that she has forgotten her mother’s birthday. You laugh, but in a way that seems understanding, not judgemental. You then say, jokingly, “Oh my god, what the hell is wrong with you?” After this, you laugh a bit more, she laughs with you, and then the conversation naturally moves on to what she should buy for her mother.

Situation 2: You are texting your best friend.

Her: I forgot my mom’s birthday!

You: omg what the hell is wrong with you?

She becomes offended because she thinks you are serious, though you really did intend it lightheartedly. She gets mad at you. You spend the next 20 minutes texting, trying to convince her that you were joking. You now have to take her out for dinner tomorrow to try to mend her hurt feelings. Thanks to your cell phone, you are now out at least 30 bucks.

Even if you are very, very close with someone, be careful about your use of swearing in casual correspondence, like texting, online messaging, email, and even phone conversations.

If you just remember that technology is the worst thing ever, you should be fine.

Swearing in Professional Writing

Nope.

Swearing in Fiction or Other Creative Writing

As you’ve probably figured out by now, swearing is a very big part of casual language.

You swear, your friends swear, your parents swear — most people swear. So it’s only natural that, as an author, you might find it necessary to incorporate swearing into your writing to create realistic characters.

But how should this be done?

The trick to using swearing in your writing is not to overdo it.

Many novice writers feel the need to inject their fiction with the harshest of expletives to communicate a mood or to represent the character and that character’s situation as authentically as possible.

There are two problems with this approach.

First, it’s lazy. There are other ways, better ways, to communicate mood, character, and setting to your reader.

Second, it’s incredibly off-putting to the reader. This is because swear words are not like other words; regardless of the context, swear words elicit an emotional response.

Swearing and Emotional Responses

People have emotional reactions to reading or hearing swear words.

Even if they do not feel offended, their attention is caught by the use of a taboo word. In fact, swear words are so tied to emotion that many people with dementia still swear even if they struggle with other speech-related tasks.

Some researchers postulate that this is because swear words are remembered in a different part of the brain than regular words. Interestingly, researchers have also suggested that the effect of swearing lessens the more one uses or is exposed to curse words.

There are two things to take from this.

First, the overuse of curse words can elicit an unintentional emotional response in your reader — one that might make them not want to continue reading.

No matter how “gritty” you want your writing to be, you still want people to actually read it.

Second, remember that saving swearing for a very important moment will be much more effective than sprinkling curses throughout your work.

Say, for example, that you’re writing a novel about a housewife who is having a breakdown. If she’s calling her friends to drop f-bombs from page one, then the climactic scene in which she leaves her husband won’t be progressed or helped at all by the use of strong language.

The language should help represent the breakdown she has experienced, which means it should only be used in a way that intentionally shocks the readers.

Conclusion

Well, friends, you now know everything you need to know about swearing. I hope you had an effin’ amazing time learning about the background and uses of some of your favorite vulgar phrases, and if you’re a writer, I hope you’ll keep this information in mind during your future work.

If you want to explore the topic even further, I also recommend checking out Holy Sh*t: A Brief History of Swearing for more interesting information!

About the Author

Taylor Dennis is an editor by day, a reader by night, and a dog lover at all times. She is always down for an old-fashioned debate, whether it be about the character arc of Voldemort, the merits of adding ketchup to poutine (sweet meets salty — the best of both worlds!), or the unarguable benefits of the serial comma. In case the poutine bit wasn’t enough of a tip-off, she’s also painfully, painfully Canadian.

Image sources: Raf Jabri/Pexels.com, BookBabe/Pixabay.com, Life of Pix/Pexels.com, Miguel Á. Padriñán/Pexels.com, blickpixel/Pixabay.com, Max Ogden/Unsplash.com

Originally published at www.scribendi.com.