How To Get A Thousand* Short Medium To Tall Followers Per Day** In Four (4) Easy*** Steps
Thousands of followers? Are you kidding me? No way! They exist! Fizzing nightly as a way to optimize the evolution of media on the internet is this Medium thing, which, ipso facto, is an ad hoc ergo propta hoc forum for straight laced intellectuals and ex-capita hipster con men, even when you consider the alternatives. Underneath it all you have to engage virally, post using clipart, and buzzword your way to success. It shouldn’t be this much fun, but it just is so get used to it. Get out your notepad, because it’s time for the four easy steps.
Step 1 — Gamify Your Capacity To Learn
Inside every difficulty lies the hidden understanding of your niche subculture. It’s better to be someone’s mint chocolate chip than on fire one day because you didn’t take the time to master the basics of a dread-to-work-ratio.
Step 2 — Think Medium But Go Large
No matter what anyone tells you, remember this: doing more means more doing. Focus on being 1% better or it’s not worth doing 1.7% of your daily mental workout while eating the cheeseburger that keeps you happy even on the rainy day when that old binder of yours finally finds its use. Find deep learning in stock photography posted on Quora and catch frogs when they come up.
Step 3 — Discover Your Motivation To Sit Still
Live like you would lose everything if you lost your mind losing all you have to live for, you loser. Tear down the primal barrier between you and your Instagram feed audience by typing naked, baring your soul and going clear. Free your mind from mindfulness, and pay no mind to those who mined. Tom Cruise will thank you.
Step 4 — Over-Engage Your Underdog Sandwich — Here’s why!
Remember to use more stick than carrot when motivating yourself because while carrots are delicious, sticks are easier to stick to by sticking it to the stick in a sticky way. Remember to use 72 epic in-sites for epic insights and frequently revisit the bookmarks that make you smarter — and don’t let Lifehacker get you down about not following through — they don’t know your or your life goals, so they’re about as qualified to tell you what to do with a carrot as your average fisherman is to tell you how to optimize your (critical) UXE objects in a way that can be passed down generationally, obvs. In the end, you have to eat what you are, so go chomp on some good Medium writers, because they are delicious.
