How To Reach The Top Of The Mountain
There’s a sign in my art studio that reads, “There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.” A lot of people have big dreams, but they never seem to make those dreams a reality.
Let’s face it, life can be hard. Career obligations, family needs, health challenges and unexpected crises call upon us all, sooner or later.
For most folks, there is precious energy left at the end of the work day. We know we should put on those running shoes and go for a workout.
But then the siren call of the couch beckons. Or that cold glass of chardonnay. Another episode of NCIS. And where’s that bag of chips?
Personal discipline is often no match for fatigue and the path of least resistance. Our hearts are in the right place, but the engine is often empty.
When my son was a little boy, there were so many things to accomplish. Getting his school lunch made. Getting him dressed and off to school. Fighting morning traffic to arrive at work on time. I recall a famous line about childrearing:
“The days are long but the years are short.”
Why is it that some people seem to accomplish so much more than others? After all, most everyone has to endure similar challenges of careers, families, mortgages, etc. We’re all trying to climb that mountain of personal and professional excellence.
How do some individuals achieve so much and reach the top of the mountain? The answer may vary from person to person. What follows are six ways NOT to reach the top of that mountain.
Six surefire ways to fail
The first surefire way to fail?
Drugs and alcohol.
And I know what you’re thinking: “Well, duh, that’s an obvious one.” But is it, really?
I’m not talking about the homeless guy with a bottle in a bag. Or the junkie burglarizing homes to feed her meth habit. Those poor folks are way down the line of addiction and dysfunction.
I’m referring to more common substance habits. Those two or three beers every night. The weekly wine parties that require several advil the next morning. Or maybe those extra pills for your back pain.
Booze and drugs might quickly “make it all better,” until the next night. And the next. But in the end, booze and drugs are the great de-motivators.
I know some will argue against this. Perhaps stating, “I’m more creative when I’m stoned.” Maybe. But I wonder how much more you’d create and achieve with all the time you wasted getting high?
One wonders how many more books William Faulkner and Ernest Hemingway would have written without their drinking habits?
The second surefire way to fail?
Television and social media.
I know, I know. I love a good TV show or Facebook bender as much as the next person. Except increasingly, it feels so very empty.
Sure, there’s some good programming out there. But much of it is abject piffle. Mindless banter, self absorption, childish drama, predictable plots and more.
As for social media, let’s be honest. Everyone is curating the best aspects of their lives. Posting videos and pictures of their adventures and cats and stuff. It makes us feel like maybe we’re not doing as well as they are. We forget that behind the scenes, they’re probably struggling too.
Imagine if you took all the time you waste on TV and social media and invested that in yourself? Devising a regular evening workout routine, or joining an exercise group? Or a book club to enjoy literature, deeper ideas and intelligent conversation? What would this new you be like?
The third surefire way to fail?
Gossip.
Eleanor Roosevelt is most often attributed with the following quote:
“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”
When we gossip we give in to our lesser selves. We betray whoever it is we are gossiping about and see only the worst in others, instead of their best.
I remember gossiping once with some coworkers about a guy we’ll call “Joe.” Another coworker strolled by and we asked his opinion of Joe.
He responded, “Whenever I work with Joe, he’s always professional and nice to me. If there’s something you don’t like about him, why don’t you guys find a way to help him?”
I felt like a very small person after I heard that. I try hard now not to jump on the gossip bandwagon. I try to see the best in others, not the worst.
The fourth surefire way to fail?
Blame others.
Let’s face it, it’s so much easier to place fault elsewhere rather than own it. We learn this at a young age with the tired refrain, “It’s not my fault.” Sadly, often it is our fault.
It takes courage not to buy into our own cow manure. To take a good, objective look and conclude, “Yep, I did this. This is my fault.”
It takes even greater courage to follow up with, “And now I’m going to fix this.” When we do, people respect us more.
The fifth surefire way to fail?
Compare with envy.
A good quote to back this up comes from Theodore Roosevelt:
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
It’s one thing to honestly compare yourself to others in order to take stock. Asking yourself, “Why is Bill so much fitter than me?” Or maybe, “How can I become as accomplished a painter as Jeremy?”
Honest comparison can sometimes motivate you to improve yourself.
Envious comparison is where we run into trouble. When we cast a jealous eye upon others, we blind ourselves to all that we have accomplished.
Each of us are born with our own unique skills and abilities. Trying to be someone else is fruitless.
The world yearns for the authentic you, not a cheap imitation. Look to others for inspiration, but then figure out how to use that inspiration to become the best version of yourself.
The sixth surefire way to fail?
Risk avoidance.
I’m not talking about foolish, dangerous risk taking. We should avoid doing things that are likely to harm us. But too many of us avoid taking calculated risks that could help us grow immensely.
Many of the breakthroughs I’ve experienced in my life came from risking. A fear of flying and artistic inexperience almost prevented me from traveling out of state to a life changing workshop.
Fortunately, I swallowed my fear and risked. I boarded the plane and gutted it out. Later, at the painting workshop, I was surrounded by much more accomplished artists.
I felt artistically inadequate around them. Except everyone was so nice. They offered helpful advice, tips and encouragement.
They helped me grow as an artist. I realized that it’s okay to seek out the support and help of others who are further along than me.
The trick is to let go of your ego, as author Ryan Holiday eloquently points out in his book “Ego is the Enemy.” Let go of your ego and risk a little to help yourself grow.
How to reach the top of the mountain
To sum up, if you want to reach the top of the mountain and become the best possible you, don’t do the following six things:
1. Abuse drugs and/or alcohol
2. Waste time on TV and Social Media
3. Gossip about others
4. Blame others
5. Compare yourself to others with envy
6. Avoid taking intelligent risks
Envision who you want to become
Close your eyes and envision who the person you want to become looks like. Doesn’t that vision excite you?
Now imagine how much closer you can get to becoming that person if you avoid the above six, surefire ways to fail.
If you’re serious about reaching the top of that mountain and becoming the best version of yourself, then avoid those six, surefire ways to fail.
Adopt habits and routines to replace unhealthy and unproductive habits.
The internet abounds with advice on how to create good habits and routines to insure success. For some of you, that may involve joining an exercise or support group. For others, you might just need to implement new routines at home and in your daily schedule.
Whatever approach you adopt, make this the year you reach the top of that mountain. Life is too short to wrestle with regrets. You owe it to yourself to become the person you really want to be!
Before you go
I’m John P. Weiss, fine artist and writer. Get on my free email list here to receive the latest artwork and writing.
