How Phrasing Affects Persuasion
“He who wants to persuade should put his trust not in the right argument, but in the right word.” -Joseph Conrad
I can only think of two professions where you may be expected to shout “MACARONI AND CHEESE!” One is a cook and the other is a teacher. When I student taught in a kindergarten classroom, I was expected to scream “macaroni and cheese” at the room for attention. Sometimes, the students would reply with “FREEZE” and cease movement. Other times, they just carried on with their activities. You can imagine the embarrassment when other adults are in the room and you shout a food item out randomly. But there is a reason the seemingly unrelated food and “freeze” were combined. They rhyme.
Children’s books are packed with rhyming words because they help children distinguish sounds. Plus, kids enjoy them, and they aren’t the only ones. According to persuasion researcher Robert Cialdini, “Researchers in the field of cognitive poetics have even found that the fluency-producing properties of rhyme lead to enhanced persuasion.” Rhymes are pleasant to the ear and, more importantly, memorable. It’s easier to influence people if they remember you or your product.
When it comes to persuasion, it’s not just what you say, but how you say it. Changing your phrasing, even very slightly, can dramatically affect the impact of a sentence. Everybody wants to come off positively. The same position can seem to be positive or negative depending on the phrasing. In general, being “pro” or “for” a topic makes a person sound more positive than a person who is “anti” or “against.” That’s why people are “pro-choice,” rather than “anti” anything or “pro-life” rather than “anti-abortion.” While careful phrasing is commonly used in politics and tip-based professions, they aren’t the only ones aware of the importance of phrasing.
Pilots and flight attendants are taught to abstain from using any terms that may be considered morbid, such as “your final destination” and “terminal.” Thus, the sentence “When we reach our final destination, you should proceed to Terminal Three,” is better spoken as, “When we reach our destination, you should proceed to Gate Three.” Kurt W. Mortensen, author of Maximum Influence: The 12 Universal Laws of Power Persuasion, goes as far as to say airlines have “mastered the power of words.” For example, “In one situation, a flight attendant had run out of steak as an option for a dinner entrée. Instead of telling the customers their only option was chicken, the flight attendant said, ‘You can have a piece of marinated chicken breast, sautéed in mushrooms in a light cream sauce, or a piece of beef.’” Because of her phrasing, passengers opted for the chicken.
A choice of meat might not seem very significant, but phrasing can impact major topics as well. According to author Jesse Bering, “…it becomes evident that Ellis and Sumonds’s careful distinction between homosexual behavior and homosexual orientation was an important step in the history of gay rights…for the first time homosexuality was being widely and formally conceptualized as a psychosexual trait (or orientation), not just something that one ‘did’ with members of the same sex.”
Even if you avoid politics and heavy topics, slightly adjusting your language can be valuable for everybody. A clever tip from How To Talk To Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships, says to use the “Premature We” to make people feel closer to you. It explains “when you prematurely say we or us, even to strangers, it subconsciously brings them closer. It subliminally hints you are already friends.” Let’s say you’re talking about a band with somebody you would like to become closer to. Rather than saying, “I can’t believe you like that band too! Want to go to the concert with me?” try “We have such good taste in music! Should we get tickets to the concert when they’re in town?”
Another great phrasing tip from the book is to use “anatomically correct emphasizers.” The author explains:
For visual people, use visual emphasizers to make them think you see the world they way they do. For auditory folks, use auditory emphasizers to make them think you hear them loud and clear. For kinesthetic types, use kinesthetic emphasizers to make them think you feel the same way they do.
Basically, use similar language to how the person you want to influence speaks. For instance, if he says “I hear it’s a good time to buy stock in Apple,” rather than say something visual like “It looks that way to me too!” try something more auditory such as “It sounds like a great idea to me!”
Stores use different phrases when pricing items to sway your opinion as well. Retailers are familiar with the Rule of 100 when creating advertisements for discounted items. The rule states that if a product is cheaper than $100, percentage discounts will seem bigger. If the product costs over $100, numerical discounts will appear larger. Keep this in mind when shopping. Saving $50 may trigger thoughts that you should purchase quickly, but if that item still costs thousands, you might not be getting that great of a deal. In general, higher numbers give the impression of better quality. It has been shown that people believe they would spend more money at a restaurant named “Studio 97” than at one called “Studio 17” and we tend to be more impressed with an athlete the higher the number on his jersey.
While we may be influenced by numbers, stores also know few words attract our attention as well as the word “free.” People will take items labeled “free” even if it’s something they otherwise would have no desire to own. We think it would be insane to pass up on getting something that doesn’t cost any money, even if we subconsciously realize it will just sit in our house a few weeks before getting thrown away. A great example of the power of free comes from Amazon. Dan Ariely describes in his book Predictably Irrational what happened when Amazon launched a promotion for people buying a book that said, with the purchase of a second book, you received free shipping. Excluding France, sales increased worldwide. Is this because the French were too savvy to be inclined to buy a second book? No. As it turns out, the French program had been altered to not include free shipping, but rather for shipping to cost a single franc (equivalent to 20 cents in U.S. currency).
Although it would result in extremely low-priced shipping, people in France weren’t convinced to buy a second book. Amazon fixed this problem and changed it so that France indeed received free shipping. The result? French sales increased. In Animal Farm, there is a relevant quote that states, “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.” In terms of words, “free” is a word that is “more equal than others.” Some other magical words are those that show urgency (such as “now,” “hurry,” and “today”), ones that convey connection (for example, “help,” “join,” and “create.”), and phrases showing reasoning (like “proven,” “tested,” and “research”). The word “because” is especially powerful.
According to previous hostage negotiator Chris Voss, “people respond favorably to requests made in a reasonable tone of voice and followed with a ‘because’ reason.” A famous experiment by Harvard psychologist Ellen Langer demonstrates this well. For the study, Langer and her colleagues asked strangers if they could cut them in line for a copy machine. In some trials they gave a reason such as, “Excuse me, I have five pages. May I cut in line because I have to make copies?” In other trials, they asked without providing a reason. When they asked without saying why (or using the word “because”), 60% of people allowed them to cut. However, when any justification was given, an astounding 90% of people agreed. When making a request, give people a reason. Even if the reasoning doesn’t seem especially convincing, naming one at all can help.
Our phrasing isn’t just important in our statements and numbering, but in our questions as well. Seemingly neutral questions can be more leading than we realize. In a Canadian study conducted by Professor Ziva Kunda and others, participants rated how happy they were with their social lives. However, some participants were asked, “Are you happy with your social life?” while others were questioned, “Are you unhappy with your social life?” Those who were asked if they were unhappy were 375% more likely to consider themselves unhappy with their social lives. As Kunda explains, “Subjects were more likely to search their memories for examples of the hypothesized characteristic than for examples of its opposite.”
If you want to influence somebody’s response to a question, have the question focus in the direction you want people to answer. If you are looking for honest feedback on something, try to present both sides in your questions. For example, a more neutral question would be, “Are you happy or unhappy with your social life?” Using open questions that pull both positive and negative memories to mind help people give you a more balanced answer.
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