I Killed My First Business: I Had To.
Even the most beautiful of things die. Sometimes, however, we actually have to kill them. That’s really hard. Starting out, we bring something to life — a relationship, a company, an idea, anything. We invest time and money, hoping to see it grow. We nurture it like the new born that it is, providing all the love we can. Often, after a while, it’s not enough and we end up not needing it anymore. It’s served it’s purpose, we’ve extracted all we can from it, and the narrative moving forward becomes convincing without it. Sometimes, that’s the only way. So, with mixed emotions, we kill it.
It happens all the time.
Favorite characters, in our favorite books often suffer such fate. They are killed off by their authors, because of a vision that the reader can’t comprehend in real time. As the story unfolds, we often find ourselves sobbing as love stories come to a close on the big screen, on the stage, in books, and of course, in real life, because we want something else to happen. It connects with that part inside of us that wants so innately human. It’s why we are torn apart by Romeo and Juliet’s ultimate sacrifice for love, while at the same time, we maintain a hope in it through characters like Scarlett O’Hara, and Jane Eyre. We find ourselves tangled up in the narrative, a narrative that enchants us. It has, after all, been crafted and controlled by an invisible hand, one that knows what they are doing.
The same is true for us and our own lives. We see this through relationships, experiencing emotional heartache by suffering first hand — by actually living through it. Often, a certain chapter ends, the plot of our lives twists, and a new direction emerges. This new direction can provide unforeseen hope for a much needed new perspective, through which we can view our lives. Plot twists takes many forms, in both grandiose and subtle ways — graduations, career changes, relationships, the death of loved ones, and the list goes on. Rarely, however, does anyone talk on an emotional level about the plot twist I’m dealing with.
It’s the death of my first true love, my first business — I had to kill it.
Let’s rewind though. Five years ago, I was starting out as a chef. I had a marketing background, and decided to leverage that by creating a brand for myself, Bachelor Kitchen. I used the money my mother left behind when she passed. It was a small fund that my father hoped would be used on the down payment for a house, or perhaps on an engagement ring for a future wife — I decided to take a different risk. I risked it on a business, one that would revolve around myself. I hired a company in town to build a website for me (this was pre SquareSpace, Wix, etc) — it cost an arm and a leg. No — seriously, looking back, I’m nauseated just thinking about it. But, after determining that I wanted a “website” and not just another blog, we came up with a name, Bachelor Kitchen. I was a bachelor and I was a chef, so I could play both angles, while offering recipes, cooking tips and writing on my website. I then made my first TV appearance soon after it launched, and I was hooked. I started doing more television, in various markets, participated in events, started building a social media following, and raised a ton of money for various charities, of which I am most proud. In certain circles, I was known by my brand, Bachelor Kitchen, BK, the Bachelor Chef. It was a good move at the time, since the name itself had much more universality and mass market appeal than mine did at the time.
Along the way, I’ve successfully found investors, been burned by both business and marketing partners, created a magazine, built a studio kitchen, secured a trademark, and the list of firsts for my life goes on and on.
Through being betrayed by my former business partner, I learned something — a valuable lesson.
I learned that what I needed wasn’t tied up in a brand, magazines, TV studios, or fancy websites. Don’t get me wrong, that was all nice, but did I need it? I thought I did, but soon, after months of beating myself up, wishing I could turn back the hands of time, I realized I didn’t need any of those things, and hell, it was time to get over it — I wasn’t going to be a Bachelor forever.
This realization was liberating and since, I’ve done my best work. I’ve written pieces like this, that have connected with hundreds and thousands of people all over the world. I’ve inspired people and given them reasons to keep fighting for what they believe in, all the while still getting to do what I love, which is cooking every single day. In fact, I have a second restaurant on the way. The long and short of it is this: my first company, Bachelor Kitchen, served it’s purpose. It helped me, Chef Chris Hill create a brand in a way I couldn’t have otherwise. I don’t need it anymore, though. I kept trying to hang on, because of an emotional connection to it, but often in life, I think we hang on to things that no longer serve us, and in ways, they might even be holding us back.
So there ya go, that’s how I killed off my first love. Something I poured my heart and soul into. It’ll be missed, I’ll look back at the many hours it took to build it — not just a website, Facebook page or blog, but a community of like-minded people. People that believed in me. It’s bittersweet looking back, it’s been a fun ride. It’s time to open new doors that await me, while looking back with gratitude for having the chance to have walked through this one.
What I’ve learned, and my advice to you would be this — audit who you are and the things that you think will help you get what you want in your life and in your career. Those things will always be changing, and it’s important to remember that. Often the scenery will shift, the people around you will change, the goals will evolve a bit over time, and you, yourself will as well. It takes courage to look at your life and assess it, holding on to the pieces that serve you, while finding the courage to let go of the things that don’t. Find a way to be okay with life, when it doesn’t go as planned or how you’d expected. That’s just the way it goes sometimes. Often there, you can discover the things about yourself that you might never have otherwise.
Sure, it’s easy to hold on. It’s what we know, it’s a part of us. However, sometimes, to grow into the people we are to become, we have to let go of certain parts of the people that we are.
It’s like a favorite saying of mine,
“Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.”
It’s the turning of a page, it’s bittersweet, and I’m okay with that. Much more beautiful things await me. They are lurking just around the corner, waiting to write the next chapter.
-CH
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