I Wish You More Than Luck
How to make 2017 suck less than 2016.
If you’re reading this, that means you’ve made it. You’ve endured the gauntlet of 2016 and made it clear to the other side.
But it’s not all rainbows and chocolate now, is it! We haven’t been blessed with a blank slate for 2017. The luminaries who died the year before are still dead. Everyone on Twitter is still yelling at each other. Pepe the Frog is still a stand-in for a swastika. Britain is still Brexit-ing. Trump is still Trump-ing. Russians are still hacking. Turkey is purging. They’re shooting a nationwide snuff film in the Philippines. And, dear lord, Syria is a literal trash-fire. We’ve got work to do — and no one’s getting any younger.
But, where to begin when it feels like everything is ending?
First, try not to worry about what you can’t control. It’s extremely — i don’t know if “tempting” is the right word here, but — tempting to drink from the fire-hose of the perpetual news cycle. It’s really easy to join the outrage choir. And then one day you find yourself saying things you don’t really mean, without stopping to think critically over whether you’re saying anything meaningful at all. The world will keep spinning — possibly out of control, but almost definitely out of your control. Practice “slow news.” Find your local paper and an international mag that spits relatively broad range of intelligent perspectives, and get your news from that. For me, that’s the Austin American-Statesman and The Economist. Your mileage may vary. If you’re passionate about a particular cause, and you want to go deep on it, do your own data research on the underlying ideas and events, rather than count on the echo chamber for information.
This also applies on a more deeply personal level. Let go of what other people think of or expect from you. Do you. And don’t compare yourself to others or societal “norms.” Keep your Insta-envy in check. If you’re not jet-setting around the world, enjoying the most perfect brunch, settling down with an adorable family or building the perfect backyard patio — that is all okay! The past cannot be remade. Moving forward is easier once you’ve jettisoned the weight of expectations and comparisons. You’ll be freer and less anxious.
Once you’ve been able to step outside the frame, you’ll be able to more fully assess what’s within the realm of your control. Frankly, it’s less than you think. We all have our domains of influence — yours and, say, Steph Curry’s are probably a bit different in reach. But the general sphere is the same. All we have is the time in front of us, the people around us, and the body that contains us. That’s it. These are within our grasp. These are what we can control. And these are what deserve our attention for a full and fulfilling life. Let’s address them.
The time in front of us.
How will you use your next hour? Your day? Your week? Your year? If you’re feeling stuck, using your time wisely is probably less important to you than using your time mindfully. Live by design and not by default. If you’re not doing the things you love, or the things that pay well, or the things that are worthwhile, then it would make sense to start! Think of a couple things you’d like to do more of — and do those things. Think of a couple things you’d like to learn — and learn those things. You are the protagonist in your own story. You control the movement and the action. You have the potential to master almost anything. You cannot stop the waves of time, but you can surf them. Grab your board and go.
The people around us.
Do not be lured by the social media hat-trick that having more friends equals greater happiness. Multiple studies show that this simply is not true. To wit:
Nearly all the well-being benefits from relationships don’t come from the 500 Facebook friends, or even the 150 or the 50. They come from the 15. Quality time spent with your 15 closest friends and family will have a direct impact on your happiness, health and longevity (and theirs too).
Find your 15 closest friends and make it a point to talk more with them. Call them. Text them. Surprise them. Travel with them. Eat with them. Laugh with them. Cry with them. Take on big challenges together. By establishing your “board of directors” you’ll have an on-demand arsenal for happiness and success.
Additionally — and this shouldn’t need to be said, but in the darkness that is our current uncivil climate, it bears note — make it a point to be kinder and more curious to people you see regularly. People who communicate more regularly with more people are more likely to be more tolerant, less fearful and — on the whole — happier. If you can do something good for someone … all the better. Volunteer. Strengthen your community. Strengthen your relationships.
The body that contains us.
Of course, without a healthy body to get you where you need to go, it’s impossible to use your time as actively or love others as deeply as you would like. And so, stay sharp. Drink water, eat plants, get your sleep, exercise often, go outside, try to lay off the booze and the smokes. If you’ve got that thing you think you need to get checked out at the doctor, you probably should. Once the body dies, the soul may or may not die with it. Don’t take that chance! A healthier body makes you stronger, faster, more radiant and more confident. And, best of all, allows you more time on this earth to spend doing the things you love with the people who love you.
That’s it. Yes, the neo-liberal world order is crumbling. Yes, technology has turned us all into micro-imperialists with fragile egos and questionable IRL social skills. Yes, there’s a better than coin-flip’s chance that The Chainsmokers will drop another hit single. But, in the face of oppression, bleakness, hate, fear and bros with glow-sticks, by going small-batch with your intentions, and focusing on the time you have, the people you love, and the body you can’t escape, you’ll have a better chance to make the best of the opportunities that 2017 presents you. I wish you a Happy New Year. I wish for a lot of dope things to happen to you in it. And, I wish you more than luck.
