Imagine You Could Be Better
Even when life has repeatedly kicked the crap out of us, we still have moments of optimism. We still occasionally (okay, nearly always) wish that we, and our lives, could be better than they are.
Some of our first conscious thoughts as an infant, probably had to do with ambitions to be someone we were not yet; to do something we had not yet done. Otherwise, why would we have bothered to learn to talk, walk, or do anything for ourselves?
Think about it from a baby’s perspective, they have it made. Babies are held, loved, snuggled, fed, cleaned, and doted over by just about everyone. Babies can get away with just about anything — and everyone just says, “Oh cute!”.
(Yes, there are sad exceptions. 😢)
If a baby’s motivation to change, grow, and be something “better” was based solely on their life-experience, they would have no motivation to change.
So, they must have some other motivation to grow, change, and “be all that we can be”. But, what is it?
Imagination
Noticing what someone else is doing, and wanting to copy them is the most basic form of imagination. If I see someone doing something I don’t want to do, then I don’t imagine myself doing that thing. Then, I don’t do it. The opposite is also true.
What we want, we imagine, and what we imagine, we do.
A baby has no “factual” evidence of its ability to imitate any of the actions of the lumbering giants that surround it. Neither does it have the cognitive, or analytical abilities to know that it should, one day, be able to do these things. A baby just instinctively tries to copy observed actions. If a baby did not imagine itself doing something, it would never attempt to do it.
On some level, a baby must “imagine” itself copying an adult action, and then work toward its imagined goal.
The same applies to children of all ages. When I was at college, our Early Childhood Development (ECD) and Childhood Education lecturer had a favourite catch-phrase. Most of what children learn is caught, not taught.
This is a very accurate little summary of childhood learning and development. Children are always watching, listening, absorbing, and copying. That process, of learning by imitation, is sparked and fuelled by innate imagination.
A child sees someone doing something, and then, either consciously or unconsciously, imagines themselves doing that thing. They then practice until they can accomplish their imagined outcome.
As teens and young adults, most of us had (or have) dreams and ambitions. We had pictures in our minds, of who and what we wanted to be and accomplish. However, even that was far from the imagination of our early childhood.
Murdering Imagination
Pretty much any psychologist worth their salt will tell you, that none of us have an objective, factual picture of ourselves. We all perceive ourselves as we “imagine” ourselves to be. Some of that imagining is conscious, and some is unconscious. That imagined self-image is informed by our nature, nurture, and life experience.
A baby has unformed, unspoilt, potentially unlimited imagination. It applies that imagination to its personal development. A baby has no memory or concept of “failure”. It hasn’t yet been told that it cannot, or shouldn’t accomplish something. A baby just observes, imagines, and does.
However, as we grow into and through childhood, our imagination is forced into ever-increasing constraints. We are told not to do some things. Some of those forbidden things are to help us fit into society, which is, on the whole, good. Other forbidden imaginings and behaviours have less altruistic motives, like adult convenience.
Then, there are the things we are learn, or are told what we are able or unable to do, or be. We experience failure, and the disappointment that comes with it. Then we begin to imagine failure, rather than accomplishment.
Maybe your parents, hoping to armour you against disappointment, warned that you’d probably not be good at sport — since they weren’t. So, you imagine yourself as “unsporty”.
Whatever the reason, we start to imagine ourselves differently. Memory of failure, and other negative input become part of how we imagine, and therefore define ourselves. You know how it goes — “I’m good at this, but I’m bad at that.”
Then society, in the form of parents, school, and peers joins in. We are taught to fit in, rather than be ourselves. When we fail to fit, our failures are amplified by the enthusiastic sounding-board of peers and mentors. School forcefully indoctrinates us to value “facts” over imagination. What “is”, over what could be.
In fact, imagination is strongly discouraged. Imagination makes you different, and school is designed to make you fit in. Imagination raises uncomfortable questions and inconvenient experiments. Imagination, we are constantly told, will not earn a living, or put food on the table.
The older we get, the more strongly this is stressed. Yes, your writing is excellent — your art is wonderful — you sing with the voice of an angel, but you need to get a real job.
“But, I want to be a rock-star!”
“That’s just your imagination. You need a real career.”
Imagination becomes something that most of us only practise within the boxes that society has provided. So, instead of being a writer or artist, we work in advertising. Instead of following a dream of being an inventor, we run a factory that makes things. Instead of pursuing a career in music, we become an accountant who sings in the shower, and maybe still plays guitar when work and family allow.
Imagination is murdered by schools that legislate uniform dress, behaviour, learning, and thinking.
Imagination is murdered by wanting to fit in and avoid the mocking of our peers.
Imagination is murdered by trying to “do the right thing” and “be a responsible adult”.
Imagination is murdered by ourselves.
Unimagined Consequences
Or, should that be — the consequences of being unimagined?
The science is clear, and clearly informs the logic. You are what you imagine yourself to be.
The flip side of that possibly depressing coin, is that you can be whatever you imagine yourself to be.
Who and what you are is really only limited by your imagination.
So, here’s the thing. You and I must both decide what we’re going to imagine.
- Will we continue to dwell on our past failures, shortcomings, wrongs done to us, limitations, etc.?
- Or, will we begin to picture ourselves as we want to be?
If I imagine myself only as constantly battling for money, then my behaviour will be informed by my imagination, and my reality will come in line with my behaviour.
But, what if I imagine myself as selling my writing, artwork, photographs, etc.? What if I imagine myself successfully teaching creativity, selling books, and having sufficient money for my needs?
Yes, you’ve got it. Once again, my behaviour will align itself with my imagination, and my reality will shape itself around that behaviour.
No, I’m not trying to say that you’ll change your entire life and the world around you just by thinking right. I’m saying that you can change your entire life and your environment by thinking right … and then acting on those thoughts.
Imagining The Way Ahead
I’m the first to admit that I’ve got a huge amount of work to do on this. My self-image and my life are currently made up of layer upon layer of “bad imagining”.
While the concept of “thinking right” is not new to me, defining myself by means of imagination, is quite new. That means that I’m really just getting started with this, and have absolutely no claims to any kind of expertise.
However, logic tells me a few things :
- Negative thoughts, images, or preconceptions about myself, my abilities, what I can accomplish, etc., are entirely unhelpful. They are what created the problem. The problem cannot be solved using the same things that produced it.
- Positively imagining myself, my future accomplishment, my abilities, and my desired objectives will help to change my behaviours. Positively changed behaviour will effect positive change in myself and my circumstances.
- Even if I never achieve the heights that I imagine for myself, I’ll be and do better than I am now. (Even if I don’t, I won’t have lost anything.)
As yet, I really don’t have any practical tips for you. Neither do I have any personal success stories. This is still all too new to me.
I hope that some of you might have some experience with this, and can feed back to me and other readers via the comments. Thanks.
Ironically, since beginning to write this article, I’ve also come across two excellent articles on the subject. Talk about synchronicity. I’ll include links to those articles below.
Links :
By Benjamin P. Hardy
Husband & father of 3. PhD candidate in Organizational Psychology. Bestselling author of WILLPOWER DOESN’T WORK.
By Maria Popova (BrainPickings)
Interestingness hunter-gatherer obsessed with combinatorial creativity. Editor of @brainpickings & @explorer. Bylines for @WiredUK & @TheAtlantic. MIT Fellow.
