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I’m obsessed with hearts. Couldn’t possibly love them more. Teeny tiny ones. Like not even a centimeter in size. Hearts and thumbs. If we’re being precise, hearts, thumbs and the word “views”… especially when quantified.

I’m a grown woman obsessed with social media. So fully absorbed by the meaningless validation created by these tiny little symbols. It’s nonsense. Child’s play, really. And I know I’m not alone in my digi addiction.

This isn’t another missive about quitting social media. Nope. We’re all aware of how each platform provides some kind of value. And as a free agent who’s building something of my own, I rely on social media for lots of reasons. So I’m not quitting. The problem, though, is self control. The number of times I reach for my phone in one day is preposterous. It’s second nature at this point. I’m essentially the kid in the Stanford marshmallow experiment who eats the marshmallow immediately. I’ve used all kinds of tactics to kick the habit: deleting the apps, asking my husband to change the passwords, locking my phone up at night (not kidding). While providing a temporary fix, these methods have proved to be ineffective on their own.

I contemplated reverting to a flip phone or one of these sleek newcomers (Light Phone, Punkt). But I wouldn’t be able to listen to podcasts about the internet or snap photos of my wildly adorable goddaughter. And god forbid not having Google Maps (Actually, I have an incredible sense of direction and could survive without this one).

Surprise… I’m not actually that intrigued by the content I get from social media. As much as I love seeing photos of the sunset and reading HuffPo articles about this year’s ludicrous campaign cycle, I have lots of other awesome stuff to do. It’s the impulse / reflex / habit of checking that’s the problem.

What this is really about is how I’ve taken a deliberate yet somewhat extreme approach to repairing how I spend my time. Here’s the multipronged strategy I’m using to beat the addiction:

PHONE

• Deleted Instagram, Facebook and Snapchat (I know, I know… Snapchat is AMAZING 😒 ).
• Restricted the ability to install new apps (Momentary boredom may result in attempting to install time sucking apps).
• Turned off Safari (Yep. I no longer have an internet browser on my phone. Might try to sneak Facebook if I did).

COMPUTER

• Installed the Facebook Newsfeed Eradicator on Chrome. Now when I log on to Facebook, I don’t have a bottomless newsfeed. I can still post, get notifications, friend requests and stalk ex-boyfriends (sorry, Sam). If you haven’t explored this Chrome extension, I highly recommend doing so immediately. Now the only bottomless thing I’m after is a bowl of french fries. LMK if you know a place.
• Deleted all other browsers that don’t offer the Newsfeed Eradicator.

This is what my Facebook homepage looks like now.

iPOD TOUCH

• Instagram lives here. When I want to post something, I can do so from this device.
• But…it’s locked with a code only my husband knows meaning I need to think twice before requesting access.
• The iPod Touch stays at home during the day.

TABLET

• I don’t really use this kind of device so I don’t have an action plan in place. If I did, I would employ similar tricks as my phone.

NIGHT TIME

• Computer gets locked up in my desk.
• Phone and desk key get locked up in this time monitored safe until the morning.

The kSafe

I’m very aware that this may come off as excessive. Maybe it is. But I know my own limits and if this is what it takes for me to regain some semblance of control, then I’m willing to tarnish my reputation. By no means are these methods foolproof, but it’s been nearly two months and so far my tricks have worked. Here are a few ways in which my life has improved:

• Better Sleep: I’ve struggled for years with what I thought was insomnia. Turns out it may have just been a case of social media addiction.
• Ability to Focus: No brainer. Without access to social media for the majority of the day, my impulse to subconsciously pick up my phone has dramatically decreased and I’ve managed to remain focused on the task at hand.
• More Time: I feel like I’ve been gifted extra hours everyday. It’s almost like I’m on vacation. And I’m happy to report that my fiction addiction is thriving.
• Improved Self-esteem: Comparison sadness is a real thing. And boy do I suffer from it. But without the bottomless scroll of social media, I can’t compare your day to mine. And I bet we’re both having a pretty average day…even if you just posted a press article that mentions your latest accolades. I’m SUPER proud of you. I mean it! But I need to focus on how very awesome I am right now and not get sucked up in a whirlwind of how much better I think you are than I am. We’re both equally awesome and valuable.

Social media addiction is scarily real. You know that, right? And abusers are hiding in plain sight. I’m one. Recovering, but one nonetheless. Addiction runs in my family and though I don’t suffer from traditional addictive vices (gambling, drugs, alcohol), I truly suffer from my addiction. My well being, health, professional goals and even marriage were hugely damaged from years of abuse. And while I don’t think I’m healed by any means, my health and happiness have significantly improved in this short time.

I don’t have answers on how to cure an addiction to social media. Fortunately, product designers are out there working to improve how we spend our time. But until there are real solutions and offerings from our technological overlords, I’ll continue to use these bandaids I’ve cooked up. I’d love to hear from you if you have similar struggles or have come up with other ways in which to change your habits. This conversation is far from over. Let’s join forces and feel good about our social media consumption rather than wasting time feeling like garbage. I repeat: we are all awesome and have much better things to do than obsess over minuscule meaningless emoji hearts. ❤️❤️❤️

While I can certainly stop fussing over icons, I wouldn’t mind if you like, comment and share this article… seriously. 🙏