Why Did I Create Daily Art for Six Straight Years?
This is my six year anniversary of creating art every day. Never missed one.(Scroll down to see all six years of art together)
How did I get here?
The simple answer is one day at a time.
Instead of talking about principles and methods I’ve learned along this journey (like finding my style and voice as an artist, gaining confidence & momentum, refining my craft, unbelievable opportunities…) I’d rather tell you the story of WHY I began this journey. (If you’d like to read an older post from my year five visit my site.)
After all, you might be thinking, “that’s great that you have accomplished this, but what does your experience really have to do with my story?” Perhaps, a lot.
I found myself sobbing and broken on the side of this hiking trail in upstate New York during a retreat for ministry leaders. Life had unraveled and ironically, I felt emotionally like a knotted up and twisted ball of twine. I couldn’t determine what the issue was, and so couldn’t “fix it”. Which only made matters worse.
After some counseling, it was determined I had been suffering from a form of mild depression called Dysthymia. A full time ministry role where I held responsibilities outside my gifting and a misplaced identity in my work only compounded my problem.
I found myself needing to leave the church I helped plant. My wife and I had to sell our home. We didn’t know what should come next. Ultimately, it was a move out of state. What should have seemed like a fresh start, felt more like intense loss. We lost our house, left our friends and some family, left our faith community & jobs. It was during this transition that my father was also diagnosed with cancer, and quickly passed the second week into my new job.
I often wondered to myself “is this it? is this what life looks like now?” It felt as rock bottom as I could imagine. And climbing out of depression seemed like a slippery slope when circumstances seemed to weigh me down.
During this time I began to journal daily, intensely listening and praying. I didn’t know how to do much other than dumping my emotions like modern day Psalms. Every day, I had just enough energy to keep showing up.
Through this process, I began to have this internal prompting that was calling me to return to art. Not the graphic design work that was part of my previous employment, but rather a getting back to my roots, tactile experience of handling some art supplies that I hadn’t interacted with in since the days of art school. But how was I to start creating art again when I had taken a 10 year absence and was battling depression?
My journey back started when, on a whim, I took a printmaking class at a local art center. While attending this 3 week course, I was turned onto a book called “The Creative License” by Danny Gregory. Little did I know this would stoke the internal creative fires within, that were dormant for far too long.
I decided to try my hand at 365 days of drawings and painting. Danny Gregory wrote “a five minute drawing is better than none”. Somehow these words were liberating. Surely I could manage five minutes.
I was off and running, or perhaps stumbling. It was forced and awkward at first. My very first drawing was of a Starbucks coffee cup (pictured below). I both hate this drawing, and love it.
I hate it because it’s embarrassing. It’s a sucky drawing of a coffee cup. But I love this drawing because it signifies a rebirth. A phoenix moment. The moment I decided to push past my fear, those voices that told me I couldn’t draw because I couldn’t draw photorealistic renderings. The moment I choose to get back to my art because I needed it, for my soul.
I kept going. At first, filling pages and pages of my Moleskine sketchbooks, then branching out to individual pieces on canvas, paper, and even creating digitally as my confidence grew.
Early on, I decided to post my daily work on Instagram as a way of keeping accountable, and even posting the work, that in my opinion, was sub par. It wasn’t about creating “masterpieces”. I wouldn’t let that perfectionist voice discourage me from keeping on my journey.
The more I kept going, the more I felt life returning. Depression faded. Drive and passion filled its place.
Beyond the work itself, this journey has changed me. It has given me more confidence in creating and sharing my art. It has helped me identify my style and tools I like to work. It has connected me with new people and opportunities. It has challenged me in ways I’m not sure I can really express properly. As I kept taking the right next step, it became steps into who I was created to be.
But it’s not all about me. It’s about you too. My experiences and journey is only really redeemed if it serves to help others. So it’s not just my story, but ours.
Through this journey I discovered my deeper why — “to share experiences through art & design” — to connect. While the form and themes of my creating may vary, it’s always with the intent of making a connection with others.
What is it for you? What have you wished you could accomplish? No matter how hopeless your circumstances may seem, keep showing up. Do that thing you need to because it’s life giving. It will give life to you, and then through you. Start where you are right now.
Day one. What could it look like for you?
