Why I Left San Diego for San Francisco’s Tech Scene

San Francisco’s rent prices suck.

And the worst part is you may be moving there shortly.

Every reason not to relocate hinders your fingertips as you scroll through your phone searching the best locations in San Francisco for your basic amenities — gym, healthy supermarket, stylish clothing outlet, popular bars, etc.

You’re confronting problems that you already have answers for in San Diego. After all, you were born there, so you know not just all the popular places, but the fastest routes to get to them.

I can’t forget the warm beaches, beautiful people, sunny weather, hundreds of friends, and mouthwatering burritos.

Life is good, so why take any risk?

For temporary purposes that hopefully last your lifetime.

What does that even mean?

We all have purposes in life that we’re chasing — our ‘why.’ These purposes are constantly changing; it’s scary, paralyzing, and can drive the most confident people into the ground.

I firmly believe you need to chase these temporary purposes with your full heart, mind, body, and soul. They may change several times in a day, but they only change for the better if you chase them.

What happens if you don’t chase?

Your temporary purposes linger as massive weights on your shoulders — questions that you know you’re not attempting to answer.

You’re scared you might be wrong.

You stop moving forward.

Your purposes then change for the worst.

And some years later, you die.

Get over being wrong. If you can’t fail every day, then don’t expect to hit the dreams that really matter to you. Don’t expect anything out of life if you can’t learn to love hitting your face against a wall. I guarantee that you will, eventually, make a dent.

That dent is worth the pain. In fact, you will entirely forget about the pain once you make that beautiful dent.

In reality, the pain is far less than hitting your head against a wall unless you’re an MMA fighter. So, for most of us, you’re wrong for as long as you’re not fighting. You can’t tell yourself something is impossible if you’re avidly trying to make it a reality.

It’s not about winning; it’s about moving forward — writing the first three words of a blog post, doing one set of pushups at a local gym, working one day at a new company. The rest will follow.

Here’s a little secret to why I’ve had many incredible life experiences in the last three years — eight-failed startups, featured in number of publications, met countless entrepreneurs, worked on four Kickstarter projects, hacked social media channels, hiked over thirty California trails, and improved my writing skills from a first grade level to where I enjoy reading my work (should that not be the only attribute that matters to writers?).

I fail ten times as much as I win.

Yeah, that’s a lot of failures.

But those wins are fucken sweet :)

My losses have left less than a hundred dollars in my bank account, broken more than ten bones in my body, left me in a wheelchair for an entire summer, had me drop out of college on the first day of a new semester, almost killed me with pneumonia, and had me driving with an expired registration for an entire year.

And I even recently ‘ate shit’ trying to get my skateboarding skills back to par — my arms, hands, and back were dripping blood. I got up and skated for another ten minutes to my house.

Lesson learned. I bought some tools to fix my skateboard trucks.

What about all the crushed dreams? I wanted to be a rabbi, firefighter, policeman, economist, President of the United States, professor, pro skater, pro-BMX rider, yoga teacher, rapper, and probably another hundred different professions.

We’ve all thought about chasing a hundred dreams, but few of us go after them with our entire being.

Here’s the thing: I’m closer than ever to a purpose that will last a lifetime because I’ve never stopped chasing.

I can feel it in my toes that curl from nervousness, the mornings I wake up at 4 a.m. to read and work, and the times I go out alone to remove myself from social pressure only for the purpose of discovering myself.

“Quiet People Have The Loudest Minds” -Stephen Hawking

Many of us spend fifty to seventy percent of our days being introverted and the other percent like Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother. The reason we are yet to be a hundred percent focused is because we’re still figuring ourselves out.

It’s painful to think about focus. You have to admit what you don’t know and that you’re going to push through some barriers to learn.

We focus because we’re trying to discover short-term — and hopefully long-term — solutions to our ‘why.’ From a line a code that helps you build your next company to picking up the guitar for the first time, it all counts towards the mystery you’re chasing.

We don’t discover solutions six drinks deep partying with friends. So, when we finally release from our desk with an answer — no matter how temporary it may be -, we turn into an extrovert. We need time to recharge.

Soon we realize we’re wasting too much time celebrating, and need to get back to work. In some sense, we’re working only to fail again, but hold onto hope because those wins exist.

And again, they’re fucken sweet.

The other day, I spent ten hours working and writing in almost complete silence. That night, I went out with a couple of new friends to see Middletown, a play that’s a Pulitzer Finalist.

After the play was over, I went out to a couple of different bars with my new friends and a number of foreigners from a local hostel. Why? Because I had answered another one of those purpose questions; it was time for some extroverted relaxation.

What does any of this have to do with moving from San Diego to San Francisco?

It’s the realization that I don’t know entirely why I did it. Similar to why we do most things in life. They are based on assumptions because that’s all we have.

People assumed the world was flat.

People assumed we would never get to the moon.

Some people assumed differently and look what happened!

I know I like writing, marketing, creating events, meeting people, and enjoying new experiences. It’s a little hard for me because my happiness bar is set low. In fact, I could hang out in a park all day and be happy. Trying to find out where my passions and energy belong is like searching through a gigantic world until you find your ‘aha moment.’ You don’t know how much hay is left until you find the needle.

I’m not giving up.

My gut told me that San Francisco would offer me the best opportunities for discovering more stories particular to my writing niche, unique experiences for inspiration, and a deeper look into the remarkable tech-events industry. Still, with thousands of new variables affecting my relocation, the best I could do is make an educated guess in line with temporary purposes.

It’s that simple.

I could have stayed in San Diego, but I don’t reflect on short-term pain — moving belongings such as mattresses and clothes, and getting adjusted to street names. I asked myself if I would rather be in San Francisco a year from now continuing to move forward chasing my dreams whatever they had become.

The answer, somewhere in my heart, had always been ‘yes.’

Just kidding. I’m still figuring things out.

And I wouldn’t prefer life any other way.

P.S. Enjoy my writing? Please share the love so others will see it.