Why You Should Never Make Resolutions

Starting a New Year gives us time to reflect and think about what it was that we were and what it is that we want to become. It is nice to reflect and take a look back. My wife and I have a Gratitude Jar where we put items and notes that remind of us of all of the good things that we did or the fun stuff that we participated in. Anything is fair game and if we don’t have a memento like a ticket from a concert, it’s also okay to just write something on a slip of paper as a reminder too. We try to choose some of the bigger things that happened throughout the year, but its okay if the items are smaller in nature — sometimes the small things are just as important. It’s nice to look back at the treasures that happened in a year and reflect on the good that happened. The reflection is a big part of moving forward from one year to the next or even one day to the next.

Since we try to focus on good things in my household, conversely, we try not to focus on the poor things that we did or the things that didn’t turn out as well as we had wanted. I try to be upbeat and positive and I also try to celebrate the good things, but I did fail often. I did not complete many of the the things that I set out to do at the beginning of 2017. The year 2017 was largely a good year, but there were also many things that just fell apart or never even got started.

NO MORE RESOLUTIONS

I have always tried to think of the things that I wanted to accomplish that I have not yet done in my life. The best time to consider those things is often the beginning of the year since we can often think about what we want to get out of the upcoming year. At the beginning of the year, I used to make resolutions. When I was in my twenties, I used to write things down that I wanted to change about myself and then work on them. It’s just that sometimes those things aren’t able to be quantified or measured. Most of us want to live a better life or have a better version of ourselves. Most of us want to accomplish things and travel to places that we have never been. Most of us want to be fit and also want to eat healthier. All of these things are choices that we can make and moves that we can easily complete. Surprisingly, most people make resolutions just like this with absolutely no end goal.

To truly do things, to truly accomplish the things we want to, we must have a reason for them, we must have a schedule, we must have a plan, and we must execute the plan, and then we must have accountability system for finishing them.

REFLECTIONS OF LAST YEAR

Reflecting on the ideas from the year and seeing what happened at the end of the year is a really important step in growth. I would suggest this as a daily practice at the end of each day. It is hard sometimes to quantify the end goal of a year in such a manner, but I think some kind of journaling will be good place to start. It is a good practice to keep a calendar of the things that you have to do, but it can also serve as a great reminder of that which you have handled or accomplished.

The problem is that when I look back at my list from last year, I see that failed on many of the things I set out to do. I think of myself as someone who is highly organized and highly motivated, but I had to think about what it was that prevented me from doing the things I set out to do.

A few of the things on my list from last year:

1. Three Screenplays
2. Two Novels
3. Twelve short stories

On that list in the year 2017, one half of a novel got completed. Two short stories were started and one of the three screenplays is about a third of the way done. I accomplished a lot, but these were a few of the items that I felt like I could actually do.

CHOOSING THE RIGHT GOALS

First off, I don’t want to beat myself up, but this might have been a little ambitious. This might have been something that I could have been done if I had nothing to do all day, but to write. Writing for some is a profession and for me right now, it is something that I highly enjoy — an activity that is important to me, but one that I don’t yet get paid for all of the time. I get paid in compliments and remarks and while all of this is important and nurturing the idea, the end goal would be to get more readers for my work and assignments that include a paycheck.

On the flip side, I could have easily done this with some planning and scheduling, along with focused and dedicated time. I am fully aware of how much time I wasted throughout the year through the many outlets designed to help me consume time that I don’t necessarily have. You can plug it in for yourself, but it is possible to do a lot more than most of think that we are capable of. Choosing goals and projects that you really want to make happen is really important because you will be able to do what you want if you plan it carefully and do the work. Having the right goals and having the right reasons for your goals is a very important part of being successful.

PLANNING

Any idea is just an idea without a solid plan. Any concept is just a moment in someone’s imagination without a project attached to it. The mere meaning of the word project is “an individual or collaborative enterprise that is carefully planned and designed to achieve a particular aim.” Anything worth doing is a project, but not everything turns into a project without a carefully designed plan.

The plan is the part where most projects fail. In order to write a novel, there needs to be a plan that involves characters, settings, tones, moods, plots, twists and turns, acts, resolutions, climaxes, inciting incidents, combined with words, paragraphs, pages, and chapters.

Some say losing weight is simple: consume less calories than you burn. It does involve more than that. A weight loss project involves a carefully designed plan of nutritional changes, emotional balance, weight training, cardio fitness, and accountability, plus time. The amount of time the project is in place has a direct relationship to the project goals; the careful adherence to the plan generally helps the plan stay in effect. Simply put, an idea needs a plan to become a project.

SCHEDULING

I wanted to write the things I set out to write, but there was simply not a strong enough plan. My projects failed on the lack of a plan. It did not have anything to do with anything else in my case. I actually did try to schedule them on my calendar and give them time, but I floundered for the most part, and then procrastinated or put other low interest items higher on my list. The lower interest (and often less important items) prevented me from even moving forward on a plan. I would sit down to do some writing, but spent most of my time thinking about what I wanted to write about rather than actually doing the work of writing. I wasn’t blocked or unable to write, I just didn’t know what I wanted to tackle first and then ended up getting distracted instead.

I don’t think it wasn’t that I wasn’t prepared or lacked the desire to write these things. I do know that I did not plan them, or put the effort in to accomplish them. My daily schedule did not include these things enough. It was easy for me to let it slide, and in some cases let it go. I needed to put down more than “work on this story” or “start screenplay.” I needed to allocate time in my schedule and actually hold it open for writing only. This is something that I really needed to do, because this was a serious “want” of mine. I would need to do the same thing with my plan.

DOING THE WORK

Doing the work is the easy part with a careful plan and with time in the schedule. Doing things without distraction and for the committed time is a critical step, maybe the most critical. The plan and the schdule make the commitment easy. Then you must get your mind right. You have to challenge yourself when you get there to punch the clock and commit to the task in the plan for the scheduled amount of time with no distractions. If I wanted to write, then I had to write.

My “want to” had to turn in to my “have to.”

In my job as a teacher, I have to grade student work, I have to plan curriculum, I have to show up every day for my job. Those are my professional responsibilities. I fit in the other things around that schedule and around those parts of my professional life. If I really want to do something, I realized that I have to do it if I really want to get things done, I had to do it.

SOCIAL ACCOUNTABILITY

Having people on your side is an important part of being successful in any endeavor. If the project involves others, then obviously everyone needs to be on the same page and on the same schedule. This part is important.

Holding yourself accountable for getting things done is also sometimes a challenge if you are working alone on a project. If you want to ship or you want to produce something, having people with expectations is important. All real deadlines involve being accountable to someone. If you say to someone that you want to accomplish something, then it can help if you have them hold you accountable. Rewarding yourself is a nice way to celebrate, but if you want to accomplish something, it helps to tell someone that you are doing this by this deadline and then give it to them on that day. It might not be perfect, but it should be what they were expecting. This is a critical step that is often overlooked.

When you do anything for anyone else, the inspiration to make it greater often will challenge you to go deeper than you might on something else. If you are writing a novel to show your mother or your brother, that is a really nice aspiration, but think about giving it someone else that can actually make a difference in you getting it sold or earning something from it. That inspiration is enough kick to get it going.

Hold yourself accountable to produce something you are proud of for others. This step is critical.

CONCLUSION — SAY GOODBYE TO RESOLUTIONS

There are certain things that just won’t happen for me and I am okay with that. I have given up on my dream to pitch in the Major Leagues. I also know that I will not be able to long jump or be on the 4x400 relay team in the Olympics in 2020. Aside from certain physical activities that are outside of my ability to be elite, I think that it is possible for me to be able to do what I want to do. The Hardest Part of starting a New Year is the reflection of the last year and the things that did not happen. The best part is the possibility of the new year and every new day.