A Heavy Toll on All: Uncovering Invisible Labor
If American women earned the minimum wage for the invisible work they do around the house, they would have made $1.5 trillion last year (Wezerek and Ghodsee).
“Clank clank,” my mom and grandmas deftly took out nine sets of bowls and chopsticks, ready to plate some dishes for the biggest meal of the year, the spring festival. The smell of dumplings wafted through the air as my mom bustled about, chopping vegetables, stirring pots, and checking on the various dishes in the oven all at once, and my grandmas hunched over the sink despite their old age. Meanwhile, my father, brother, and uncles sat idly in front of the TV, watching festive performances and chatting about the job promotion they got this year. The sounds of their laughter mixed with the clanging of pots and pans created a chaotic symphony that I grew used to. The family naturally sorted themselves into two sections, each devotedly performing their designated roles.
I never raise any questions about these things because they are so normal. These are the defaults in so many people’s families across numerous cultures. But as I grew older and started to see the invisible labor, I started questioning how it appeared in the world around us, who it hurt, and what might put an end to it.
Invisible labor is always around us, but it goes unpaid and unrecognized. From laundry, childcare, paying bills, and keeping track of appointments, invisible labor is the domestic and cognitive work that runs a home (Piñon). Invisible work can affect partners of all genders, but women bear a disproportionate burden in most American heterosexual households. Data shows that women do an average of 4.5 hours of such work a day, compared with 2.8 hours for men in the US (Miller). These tasks are work — they require time and effort — but you don’t get paid, or, in many cases, even recognized for them. However, invisible labor harms not only women but men as well since it is caused by an industrialized system that undervalues domestic labor and deep-rooted social expectations. By acknowledging the systemic factors at play, we can collectively challenge societal expectations to achieve a more equitable society for all.
When the meal was over, my mom was so tired that she excused herself to go straight to bed, to my dad’s confusion: “All we did was have dinner. How are you tired?” My mom, unable to properly identify or explain the source of her exhaustion, had to continue with the after-dinner poker game with a defeated look on her face. A few minutes into the game, I heard her mutter next to me: “I really am useless.”
Psychologists found that invisible labor can also cause feelings of inadequacy, emptiness, and guilt as it is often seen as something that should be “natural” or “easy”, when it is extremely tiring in reality (Mora; Ruiz). It can also lead to feelings of overwhelm, stress, and burnout as the person attempts to juggle multiple responsibilities with limited support (Ciciolla and Luthar). Furthermore, the undervaluing of invisible labor reinforces the gender pay gap. As women dedicate substantial time and energy to unpaid household work, their ability to engage fully in the workforce is hindered. Invisible labor perpetuates a vicious cycle that harms women’s mental health, perpetuates gender inequality, and limits women’s professional growth.
While some may see invisible labor and its vicious consequences as a matter of personal choice, in reality, they are more a result of bigger societal problems such as industrialization and societal expectations. Industrialization played a pivotal role in dissociating the home from the workplace, leading to the devaluation and invisibility of domestic work. The preindustrial family was fundamentally both a social and an economic unit (Industrialization, labor, and life). Married couples and their children often worked side by side on a family farm or in a shop. However, the rise of factory production and industrial cities meant a separation of the home from the workplace for most male workers, distancing them from family life. Industrialization also brought about a transformation in economic systems, emphasizing productivity and profit maximization. This market-driven system placed a higher value on labor, which directly contributed to economic output and monetary gain. Consequently, tasks performed within the domestic sphere were often marginalized and dismissed as unproductive due to their perceived lack of economic value, reinforcing their “invisible” status. Therefore, to change the phenomenon of invisible labor, modern society’s perception of labor, which was shaped by industrialization, must be altered.
Social expectations for gender are another major factor that shaped invisible labor. In tradition, women are the primary caregivers and homemakers, and men are the primary breadwinners. This is not to say that there aren’t any women who voluntarily choose to perform domestic duties out of genuine love for doing so, but there are also women who feel pressured to conform to gender expectations (Miller). To the extent that even when women are the breadwinners, they are still doing the invisible labor. Research shows that the gender housework gap actually gets bigger for mothers who earn more than their spouses — the more they earn over their partner, the more housework they do (Syrda). This happens when married couples that fail to replicate the traditional division of income try to offset this ‘abnormal’ situation by leaning into other conventional gender norms to fit social expectations (Syrda). The heavy toll of social expectations in women’s subconscious confines them to a box, which is why challenging gender stereotypes and dismantling social expectations that support invisible labor are crucial. We can encourage a more flexible and inclusive understanding of gender roles by increasing awareness of invisible labor and encouraging open discourse that questions prevailing gender norms. This allows individuals to choose their responsibilities based on their interests and abilities rather than being forced to choose invisible labor to conform to traditional social expectations.
“Mom! Where did you put my pencil case?” I asked my mom before she drove me to school. “Second drawer to the right, honey,” she answered as she collected her keys, a grocery list for this week, granny’s health insurance, and my jacket, ready for another day full of labor. My mom is who I go to when I have questions. When she’s not here, the only question I’ll ask my dad is, “Dad, where’s mom?” And then he usually grabs his phone and goes, “Jane, where are you? Jingjing’s looking for you.” While he was reporting what my mom said on the phone, I noticed signs of guilt and discomfort on his face. Sometimes I wonder if my dad is saddened by the fact that he had so little involvement in my upbringing that he knows nothing about my life.
While women bear the brunt of invisible labor, men are not exempt from its consequences. Traditional gender roles confine men to being breadwinners, perpetuating the notion that their contributions in the domestic sphere, such as involving themselves in their children’s upbringing, are secondary. By relegating household and caregiving responsibilities solely to women, men are denied the opportunity to actively participate in their family life and build meaningful relationships with their loved ones (Rich). The resulting disconnection can lead to strained relationships, increased stress, and a lack of emotional support systems for men (Rich). The societal pressure on men can be seen in the fact that American fathers are reluctant to take paternity leave, even in the rare cases where they gain access to paid paternity leave (Popper). This is not without reason. Research shows that taking paternity leave can damage a man’s professional reputation and affect his future earning potential due to work culture and social expectations for men (Popper). Therefore, even when men want to take paternity leave to spend time with family and share the burden of child care, they fear being stigmatized and feel pressured to return to work after just a few days. This is why the workplace must embrace policies that support work-life balance for both genders, such as affordable childcare options and paid parental leave. This can not only alleviate the stigma of men engaging more in their family lives but also redistribute domestic labor more equitably. Several countries like Canada, Sweden, and Iceland that have already implemented “use it or lose it” paid paternity leave have significantly increased men’s participation in housework and childcare and decreased the wage gap (Wezerek and Ghodsee).
When I asked my mom about her own experience with invisible labor and why she so dutifully carries it, she shared stories of her own mother, who too carried an immense amount of invisible labor. My mother spoke of the countless hours her mother spent cooking, cleaning, and caring for all three children alone, all while working outside of the home to make ends meet. This is a figure of silent devotion and tenacious hard work, and she was the only role model my mom had. As she spoke, I could hear the weight of the memories in her story and the shadows of generations of women before us.
Invisible labor is a generational issue, deeply ingrained in social expectations and the industrialized system itself, that is harming all individuals and society as a whole. To address the invisible labor conundrum, everyone must collectively challenge societal expectations, advocate for equitable valuations of all forms of labor, and create supportive policies that promote work-life balance for all individuals. By doing so, we can slowly dismantle invisible labor and move towards a more balanced and inclusive society.
Works Cited
Carrazana, Chabeli. “The Push for Paid Family Leave Had Stalled in America. Then Men Bought In.” The 19th, 15 Sept. 2021, 19thnews.org/2021/08/men-buy-in-to-paid-leave/.
Ciciolla, Lucia, and Suniya S. Luthar. “Invisible Household Labor and Ramifications for Adjustment: Mothers as Captains of Households — Sex Roles.” SpringerLink, 22 Jan. 2019, link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11199–018–1001-x.
Hsu, Andrea. “Women Are Earning More Money. but They’re Still Picking up a Heavier Load at Home.” NPR, 13 Apr. 2023, www.npr.org/2023/04/13/1168961388/pew-earnings-gender-wage-gap-housework-chores-child-care.
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Miller, Claire Cain. “Why Mothers’ Choices about Work and Family Often Feel like No Choice at All.” The New York Times, 17 Jan. 2020, www.nytimes.com/2020/01/17/upshot/mothers-choices-work-family.html.
Miller, Claire Cain. “Why Unpaid Labor Is More Likely to Hurt Women’s Mental Health than Men’s.” The New York Times, 30 Sept. 2022, www.nytimes.com/2022/09/30/upshot/women-mental-health-labor.html.
Mora, Audrey. “The Shift That Never Ends: The Mental Load of Invisible Work.” TheraNest, 1 Dec. 2022, theranest.com/blog/the-shift-that-never-ends-the-mental-load-of-invisible-work/#:~:text=The%20Impact%20of%20Invisible%20Work,multiple%20responsibilities%20with%20limited%20support.
Piñon, Natasha. “Invisible Labor Is Real, and It Hurts: What You Need to Know.” Mashable, 29 Oct. 2021, mashable.com/article/what-is-invisible-labor.
Popper, Nathaniel. “Paternity Leave Has Long-Lasting Benefits. so Why Don’t More American Men Take It?” The New York Times, 17 Apr. 2020, www.nytimes.com/2020/04/17/parenting/paternity-leave.html.
Rich, John. “Strict Gender Roles Hurt Men, Too.” Psychology Today, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/parenting-purpose/201803/strict-gender-roles-hurt-men-too. Accessed 23 May 2023.
Ruiz, Rebecca. “Women’s Invisible Labor Leaves Them Feeling Empty, Study Finds.” Mashable, 29 Oct. 2021, mashable.com/article/women-invisible-labor-mental-load-study.
Syrda, Joanna. “Gendered Housework: Spousal Relative Income, Parenthood and Traditional Gender Identity Norms.” Work, Employment and Society, 2022, p. 095001702110697, https://doi.org/10.1177/09500170211069780.
Wezerek, Gus, and Kristen R. Ghodsee. “Women’s Unpaid Labor Is Worth $10,900,000,000,000.” The New York Times, 5 Mar. 2020, www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/03/04/opinion/women-unpaid-labor.html.
