Lights, Camera, Perception: How Movies Warp Our Understanding of Reality
If you haven’t already noticed, life is far from what we see in the movies. More times than not, you don’t bump into someone on the street and find the love of your life. You don’t turn 25 and instantly get a beautiful apartment in the middle of New York City. And you definitely are not going to get that perfect parking spot every time you leave the house. That’s the thing about movies though- they paint you a perfect picture so subtly, you don’t even realize how unattainable it is. Think about all the couples who get their happily ever afters, who spend the next 50 years still madly in love with each other. Did the movies forget to mention that 50% of marriages end in divorce? You can call me a Debby Downer, but I prefer to be called a realist.
I want to raise a proposition. What if we’ve been thinking about this all wrong the whole time? What if sad movies aren’t “sad”, they are simply a reflection of reality and a medium we can connect with on a personal level. It’s actually these feel-good movies that should be classified as sad, as they are skewing our perception of reality and setting unrealistic expectations for us to live by.
There’s a reason we keep coming back to these beautiful feel-good movies — escapism. We as humans use movies to escape our own reality and find hope through the characters' stories. This escapism isn’t harm-free, however. The film industry’s push on “feel-good” movies is creating a gap between our perception of reality versus real life and damaging our self-image. What we view as “sadder movies” hold an incredible opportunity to confront reality at a safe distance and promote gratitude and hope. How is it possible that these two strikingly different movie genres could create such opposite impacts?
Feel-good movies never fail to present an idealized image of life. Each character lives their perfect life and their “problems” built into the storyline are resolved with practically no effort. How are we as the viewer supposed to feel or fix our problems when movies are depicting them as an easy fix? This is a massive problem when it comes to romantic movies. Despite any little problem two love interests might have in a film, they always seem to magically work it out and live happily ever after. Spoiler alert: That doesn’t work in the real world. Relationships are hard work that come with ups and downs. Any other depiction of that will leave people unprepared and disappointed when their relationships aren’t just rainbows and unicorns.
I can guarantee everyone has heard the line “love at first sight”. The film industry loves to feed into this myth, as it can create a beautiful and fulfilling love storyline. Not only does this promote the unrealistic expectations set for relationships, but it can downright confuse people. If you weren’t in love with your partner at “first sight”, does that mean they aren’t the one for you?
What is powerful about sad movies is they tell the truth better than any other movie can. It’s unfortunate, but an undeniable fact. When you watch a movie where the dog dies in the end, it might hurt, but it’s showing you the reality: dogs are not going to be around forever. If the movie continued for years on end and the dog continued to live, it would be setting you up with an alternate and misinformed perception of reality, causing you to struggle when your own reality corrects you. Sad movies tend to reflect more real-life situations that you are likely to be exposed to. From death to heartbreak, these sad realities captured in films can allow you to confront these situations, without having to directly experience it at the moment in time.
In a post on cinematherapy.com, they discuss the idea of sad movies working through life trauma, stating “they allow us to confront very real and deeply sad feelings in a safe and protected environment. They allow us to confront real issues by experiencing “reality” in a safe distance on the screen because our emotional responses feel real. Movies draw us into the viewing experience, but at the same time — often more easily than in real life — afford a unique opportunity to retain a perspective outside the experience, the observer’s view (Cinema Therapy).”
Overall, while feel-good movies can be a fun and easy watch, they are doing a lot more harm to each of us than we would ever realize. They set unrealistic expectations, can lower confidence, and skew our perception of reality from the real world. It would be impractical to tell people to step away from movies like that, as they do a good job at sparking imagination and dreams. However, it's important to understand what these movies are doing in the first place. Just because a movie is “happy”, certainly doesn’t mean it’s going to have that kind of effect on your life.
Next time you want to watch a movie, I challenge you to step out of your comfort zone. Find something real, grab some tissues, and shed a tear.
Works Cited
Casey, Jack. “Romantic movies set unrealistic standards.” Omega, Feb. 2017, www.google.com/url?q=https://dgnomega.org/4826/opinion/romantic-movies-set-unrealistic-standards/&sa=D&source=docs&ust=1677633322515352&usg=AOvVaw241HpyxkkhGQ4Ifzb2s0jZ. Accessed 28 Feb. 2023.
Delahunty-Light, Zoe. “Happy endings are secretly unhealthy… but we keep falling for them hook, line, and sinker.” Total Film, 14 Feb. 2019, www.gamesradar.com/happy-endings-to-movies-are-secretly-unhealthy-but-we-keep-falling-for-them-hook-line-and-sinker/. Accessed 1 Mar. 2023.
Galloway, Lauren F.E. “Does Movie Viewing Cultivate Unrealistic Expectations about Love and Marriage?” University Libraries, 1 May 2013, digitalscholarship.unlv.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2828&context=thesesdissertations. Accessed 28 Feb. 2023.
“Why are we attracted to sad movies?” Cinema Therapy, www.cinematherapy.com/pressclippings/sad-movies.pdf. Accessed 28 Feb. 2023.
