When albatrosses fly south

💸

One of my biggest goals in my adult life has been to pay back my student loans. It’s been a huge albatross around my neck, squawking anytime I have extra cash or want to do something fun. In the past few years, it’s felt like it’s prohibited me from a lot of typical next-stage-of-life things, like buying a house or having babies or saving extra for retirement.

I’m constantly running “what if” scenarios through my head—like what if I hadn’t gone to a private art school at $30k/year, or what if I’d looked into other schools; what if I’d applied for more scholarships, read the fine print when I signed my name over to the devil? Or what if I lost my job and had to defer? Or what if I became friends with an elderly widow with no family who lived in the big beautiful house on my street and she bequeathed her estate to me? (“Hey, it could happen. McWoooooorrrrld!”)

I think I see my debt in black and white, and I really oughtn’t. I’ve read how my debt might be a “hidden asset.” If I zoom out and take a broad view of my life, did that huge student loan actually give me an incredible education that I’m so grateful for? It’s afforded me experiences and friendships and strength I wouldn’t have had otherwise.