Chartreuse Diricawl

It’s been a good semester overall. I anticipated there being a lot of hard — sometimes boring — work. I didn’t expect so much of the work to be unenjoyable. I still think it’s been a good semester: I and people around me are in good health, I’m constantly learning, and I’m stil here!

I’ve learned that it’s OK to dedicate certain parts of my week to family and tasks. I’m still struggling to feel secure in the friendships I’ve formed in medical school. I’ve never been part of a friend group (or “squad”, if you prefer), so I am still not sure whether I should feel a sense of belonging.

I often worry if my actions or statements upset others. In ‘Yes, Please’, Amy Poehler wrote that a similar thought also occupied her in her twenties. Now in her forties, she claims she cares less about pleasing everyone. Maybe this is something I can outgrow. Or, I can stop worrying after I secure stable employment. And after I make millions of dollars telling jokes on TV. And become best friends with Tina Fey.

What has surprised you most about yourself while in medical school?

How easily distracted I can be from studying.

What is something you’d like to change or do differently next semester? What’s holding you back?

I’d like to sleep more than six hours each night. What’s stopping me? My YouTube habit.