Defending Skin Deep: Dreams of Football Management and My Skincare Routine
Growing up I dreamt about donning the colours of my boyhood club and becoming a footballing legend. I had to take myself less seriously when my peers and coaches took my abilities on the pitch the same way. Managing a football club was then, for the less technically gifted like myself, something of a backup plan — an emergency option when everything fails.
I cut my teeth on management games by the likes of Alex Ferguson and Sven-Göran Eriksson. In Erikkson’s international management game I could have sworn I solved the conundrum of how to field Steven Gerrard, Frank Lampard, and the inimitable Paul Scholes, in the same midfield.
In the creatively titled ‘Football Manager’ franchise, I have vivid memories of achieving promotion and eventual Champion’s League glory with a then middling Wolverhampton Wanderers. Little did I know then that in my mid-twenties I would be lifting my skin out of the ashes to moderate success.
My journey started with me, like any good apprentice, grappling with the basics. In this case, it was the three lines of attack or defence — depending on your perspective — that make up a core skincare routine. This segment begins on Instagram, like almost any good Gen Z love story.
Instagram planted (if you believe the conspiracy theories) an ad for Lumin, a premium men’s skincare company, on my feed. Lumin was offering a month’s free trial of a three-step routine that promised results in 30 days. The three steps were: cleanse, exfoliate, moisturise. After multiple free trials, I decided I had learned everything I could at that ‘club’ and decided to move on and look at my options — as well as the nuances of skincare.
Most football managers will have a vision for the style and type of football they want to play at the club as well as goals to achieve — devised by themselves or a hands-on board of directors. Skin-care goals can include clear-looking skin, smaller-looking pores, radiant-, or even dewy-looking skin.
Any well-respecting coach would also need to consider the very natural limits of his squad and plan and strategize accordingly. This is where skin types, determined by genetics, come in. These include normal, dry, oily, and combination skin. My brief would be to work with normal to combination skin.
Expert input at this stage can be priceless. Despite this, I couldn’t and chose not to afford an aesthetician or dermatologist. An incredibly helpful associate at Selfridge’s Dermalogica concession got me up to speed during my (free) Facemapping.
Managers must also navigate other competitions besides their domestic league which come with different tactical considerations, talk less of different fixtures. Having a skincare routine, is almost a little misleading. Because you should have at least two. A morning routine and a night-time one.
Sunlight and your skin’s ability to better absorb topical treatments and repair itself at night factor into these separate, though similar, routines. To push the envelope, or at least open it to start a conversation, you could consider prepping your face for a mask and the following aftercare as a separate routine.
Multiple competitions, or multiple routines, in this case, beg the question of how to manage a squad and have sufficient depth to rotate players accordingly. The differing demands of each routine mean certain products will not receive a call-up depending on the time of day. You’d be hard-pressed, for example, to see me applying Midnight Recovery Concentrate from Kiehl’s after my morning shower.
Even though skincare products — as inanimate objects — do not have morale that needs to be boosted or considered, they can be frozen out of the squad. And if not frozen out, fielded in less high-stake routines or as stop-gap subs.
I semi-retired my L’Oreal Men Expert Pure Charcoal Daily Face Wash. This was after deciding using charcoal on my skin every day was a little harsh on my skin. I felt a daily gel-based cleanser would also get the job done and be gentle about it. To take advantage of the detoxifying and purifying properties of charcoal I still make use of the face wash before applying the Body Shop’s Clarifying and Polishing Mask.
With any squad, there will be stand-out performers, favourites of the fans, pundits, and even the manager himself. Considering the small multitude of products that make up my skincare routine, I can single out one or two I hold close to my heart.
The first of these is a product that for many does not even need to exist, occupying a phantom position that you might call a luxury. Dermalogica’s PreCleanse is the first of a ‘Double Cleanse’ regimen. It is a rich oil that is applied first with dry hands and then lathered on the skin with wet hands. Melting away layers of excess sebum, sunscreen, and environmental pollutants that build upon the skin is almost a bonus to its refreshing scent and rich absorbent texture.
Ms. Rhianna Fenty is responsible for my second favourite product, the 2-in-1 toner-serum combo that goes by the name ‘Fat Water’. Made with a host of natural ingredients that include Barbados cherry, Japanese raisin tree, Australian lemon myrtle, Fat Water evens skin tone, reduces the look of dark spots, and refines the look of pores. What draws me particularly to this product is that its effects are virtually instant.
Finances are never far away from the mind of a manager, especially when he doesn’t directly control the purse strings. You may have a vision in life, football, or skincare, but a very real question is can you afford it? Skincare products unlike footballers do not appreciate in market value nor can they be sold on after some use (in my humble and hygienic opinion). One thing about skincare is that you will always lose money. Placing a high value on good skin is unfortunately the only way to balance the books.
Scouting and Recruitment go hand in hand with managing what is in the piggy bank. Not only does your budget guide future skin purchases but seeing products as investments means you really must, where possible, try before you buy. Or at the very least buy small before you go big or go home. In a recent visit to Kiehl’s, I lined my pockets with several samples. You, and Kiehl’s for that matter, will be glad to know I’ll be making some full-size purchases.
Some may not agree with the parallels that I find between managing my skin and managing a club at any level of the football pyramid. Undeterred, however, I see skincare as not quite beating the beautiful game, but being a game that makes skin a thing of beauty and so one worth playing.
