Alexithymia & Dating: “How do you feel?”
The extra challenges Autism brings to the relationship table
As an Autistic, with potential ADHD traits (that I still haven’t fully explored with my psychologist.), I can say that I’ve done my fair share of dating. Since the age of 16, I found myself drawn in to the dating circle, springing off a string of serial long term relationships. I don’t do casual, at least not very well. But I can do a lot of one year relationships instead apparently.
I have to say I am low-key embarrassed at my dating history. My friends like to joke about “how much I go through men.” And I get it. I hate that I manage to fall so hard for people and everything seems so great, but by the time a relationship reaches past the first year, it’s like the sense of connection, reciprocation and the effort goes through the cracks. Maybe I managed to attract a lot of men that liked the fact I would do a lot for them. Maybe they got too comfortable and stopped doing the cute things they’d do when they first started dating me. (Which is funny because that’s usually the reason why I decided to stay in the first place.) My love language is quality time mixed with acts of service. I will spend nearly every moment possible with you, do cute things for you, and make sure we go out and do fun things together.
