Autism Stories

Autistic Breakfast

A lighthearted meditation on routine

Embarrassingly bad photo by author

What do autistic people eat for breakfast? Silly question, silly like what are autistic people like? We are a spectrum, as are our breakfasts. Once you have seen an autistic breakfast, you have seen an Autistic Breakfast. This one happens to be mine.

In a 31-day month, 30 days would be this breakfast; in a 30-day month it would be 29.

Picture a classic Corelle 18 ounce (680.39 g) cereal bowl; it could have bands of color around the rims, but I prefer Winter Frost White. And picture mixed berries with yogurt, mixed nuts, honey, and a few chocolate chips. Likely you can picture this breakfast, typical, common, eaten all over the world. Just dump the ingredients into a bowl, grab your spoon, and dig in.

But wait! Autistic Breakfast can’t be that simple, can it? Perhaps preparation is a bit more, shall we say, intricate?

Let’s review my steps:

1. Pull the Corelle bowl from the right middle drawer. Hopefully, it is the Winter Frost White one, but I won’t go digging through the stack for it.
2. Take the food scale from the top left drawer, lay it on the counter, and put the empty bowl on it so when the scale is turned on it’s zeroed out.
3. Open the freezer and pull the bag of Wyman’s Triple Berry (wild blueberries, blackberries & raspberries with 2x antioxidant activity). It is a three pound bag. I always have an extra in the garage freezer. Never do I want to run out.
4. Pour berries into the Corelle bowl until the scale reads 3.35 ounces (126.63 g) exactly. A single blueberry can throw it off; add and remove berries as needed to achieve the correct weight.
5. Remove the Corelle bowl from the scale and place it in the microwave on defrost setting. Key in number three, which will be one minute 33 seconds. Push start, and as you wait, put the berry bag back in the freezer. At about 30 seconds, watch and watch for the magic number, beautiful prime number: seven. When it hits seven, press stop. Clear the remaining seconds on the microwave. Remove the bowl back to the scale.
6. By now the Chobani Greek Yogurt (whole milk, plain), Planters Mixed Nuts, and dark chocolate chips (a mélange of three different types), are on the counter next to the scale. I put them there.
7. Take the correct spoon (unlike many autistics I like larger spoons, more a tablespoon than a teaspoon), open the yogurt, and spoon out approximately 4.25 ounces (160.65 g). I’m flexible with this, it could be a bit more or a smidge less. Oh, I forgot to say you must zero out the scale again before adding the yogurt.
8. Now zero out the scale for the last time. Add .70 ounces (19.84467 g) of mixed nuts; again, I’m a bit flexible.
9. Drizzle on a bit of honey, add just enough dark chocolate chips (somehow my hand knows how many), stir, and you have my Autistic Breakfast.
10. Eat while solving the Wordle. I prefer to avoid the news.

There you have it — my Autistic Breakfast. Perhaps you argue: this is not autism, this is OCD! Maybe. I did have one psychologist suggest that I should be evaluated for it. I disagree. I already have enough initials. There is ASD ADHD MDD GAD, others without initials. Why add more? It really doesn’t matter: With autism, those initials belong to the same extended family.

What of those initials? We all have noticed the final letter in each: The dreaded Capital D. We all know what it stands for: Disorder. Am I really Disordered? Are we really Disordered? How about a different Capital D: Different or Difference? I like that.

We are not disordered, we are Different.

I’m happy with my Autistic Breakfast, I look forward to it every morning and sometimes even the night before.

Bon Appétit !!!

Dear reader, do you have a similar routine, especially with meals? Does the routine bring you pleasure or at least relief? Let me and other readers know by leaving your comments on this story.