Freelancing and Autism — What I Wish I Knew Before I Started
I started freelancing in 2015. At the time, I was still working full-time as a teaching assistant at a university. Freelancing was a side hustle, something I did for fun, so I didn’t struggle with it too much. If it worked great, if it didn’t…oh well.
A couple of years ago I started getting more serious about it. My job at university was draining me, I was burnt out, and I knew something needed to change. So last year, I quit teaching and went full-time into freelancing.
What’s the difference, you ask? Freelance writing was my only source of income for the first time. I had to make it work.
That meant I couldn’t just sit and wait for the perfect opportunity or the perfect client to show up. I had to work for it, “put myself out there”, pitch, and have a stronger online presence.
I had to have lots of discovery calls with new clients. I sometimes had to work with clients that weren’t quite “ideal” for me because the work was otherwise nice and the pay was good.
If you look at the majority of stories about freelancing, you might get some ideas like:
- freelancing is easy, and it’s for everyone
- you can make a lot of money very quickly
One couldn’t be more false than the other. Autistic or not, freelancing isn’t easy. And it’s certainly not a get-rich-quick scheme.
Now, as an autistic person, there are a few more roadblocks or issues you might encounter. Here’s what I wish I knew before I started freelancing.
Pitching as an autistic person can be harder than it sounds
Cold pitching is something I still find dreadful. You need to approach someone you’ve never met and convince them of your worth and that your offer is a great match for their needs. All that while making sure they don’t mark your message as spam two seconds after opening it.
There are many courses out there to teach you how to do that, so I’m not gonna go into detail.
My problem is I tend to take rejection quite personally. I recently discovered I probably have Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, which is common in both people with ADHD and those with autism. As you can imagine, RSD can make it rather hard to deal with pitch rejections.
And, I’ll tell you a little secret — pitch rejection happens, no matter how good you are. That’s because it’s a numbers game. And honestly, sometimes the rejection has nothing to do with you.
Sure, they might genuinely dislike your pitch or your work. But they could also be out of budget or they might already have someone doing what you’re offering in-house.
And there’s another secret I learned, which is true at least in the writing/journalism world. Even when they reject or don’t even answer your pitch, it doesn’t mean you can never pitch the same people again. Because if they didn’t like one particular story, they might very well like the next one.
So as hard as it is, especially if you struggle with RSD, don’t take rejection personally!
Calls will forever be a struggle. Embrace it.
It’s no secret that many autistic people hate calls. I know I’m one of them. Seriously, if it can be said in a text, do not call me.
Video calls are a bit different. At least in theory. You’re seeing the person. But unlike meeting people in real life, eye contact isn’t that difficult. You can look at the person’s background and it will look like you’re making eye contact.
I have one major struggle here. Many people expect you to look and sound enthusiastic about the project you’re discussing. Now one thing about me is I don’t always show emotions. I can be genuinely excited about something, but it won’t necessarily show on my face.
I also have the opposite issue sometimes, especially when I’m upset. I try to hide it, but people can always tell.
In other words, calls can be a nightmare of misunderstandings. Some people might walk away from our conversation thinking I don’t care about that project at all. I’m not gonna go on a tangent about how silly doing something like that is, that’s a topic for a whole other article.
But at the end of the day, I know many people are superficial. So I have to try my best to look enthusiastic and show it through facial expressions, gestures, and words. In other words…I have to mask.
Considering I’m working hard on masking less in my day-to-day life, this is a real roadblock. No, I don’t have a solution. For now, I’m embracing this reality.
Freelancing might feel too…free at times. And you might miss a simple routine.
I’m a rebel. I hate being told what to do. And I honestly hated having a rigid, fixed schedule made by someone else while I was teaching.
I always thought this is one thing that sets me apart from other autistic people.
Freelancing helped me realize there are several nuances to routines. Yes, I hate the idea of someone else telling me what, when, and how to do something. But I also hate having no routine whatsoever.
For instance, some clients can be very chaotic. And they’ll also be resistant when you ask for a clear schedule. They decide on the spot what they need and expect you to be ok with the last-minute updates.
I had to learn the hard way I was not OK with that. On the contrary, it was making me very anxious, and I started performing poorly.
So if you’re like me and like some structure to your day — enforce that rule with clients from the start. Make sure you’re on the same page before you start working.
Not everyone will like you. Don’t take it personally.
This one should be easy. But RSD makes it hard sometimes.
You won’t get along with all your clients. Sometimes you’ll feel everything is great, you’ll sign the contract, and get to work. And then, weeks or even months down the line, you’ll realize this client is draining you and it’s not worth it anymore.
It happens to everyone. Don’t take it personally.
In the same way, some clients won’t like you. Good riddance. Move on to the next one.
Subtext and metaphors exist in the business talk too
It’s no secret that many autistic people often hate those who don’t properly speak their minds. Those who expect you to understand the subtext, and the metaphors, and get mad when you take things too literally. Most of us had to deal with them at some point.
You’d think in business everyone would clearly state what they want. I’m sorry to disappoint you, but you will still meet those who expect you to get their subtext.
The best way to fight it is to ask questions. Don’t assume. And don’t feel ashamed when you’re unsure what they mean. It’s better to ask 100 questions than to launch into a project and realize you got it all wrong.
In my experience at least, people in business don’t mind getting a lot of questions. They see it as a sign of interest. And if they do mind — you’re probably better off without them anyway.
You need to set clear boundaries
Boundaries are your best ally.
Do you need routines, as I do? Make sure your clients understand that. Ask for clear deadlines, outlines, or whatever helps you create that routine. Don’t expect them to know how to do it. How could they, if you don’t ask?
Do you have a schedule for the week ahead and don’t want to change it for some impromptu call with a client? Unless you know it’s something urgent or you have a contract where you promised 24/7 availability (never sign that!), you don’t owe them that call. It can wait a few more days until you adjust your schedule.
The more you let people trample over your boundaries, the more likely you are to fail.
You may think that by doing what they want 100% of the time, you’ll get better results. Trust me, the only thing you’re guaranteed is burnout.
If a client doesn’t respect your boundaries, they don’t respect you. And sooner or later, that’s going to be reflected in your collaboration.
I’m sure there are more things to learn to be successful as an autistic freelancer. After all, autism is a spectrum, and we all experience life differently. Do you have more tips? Failure stories, lessons learned? I’d love to hear them.
