Living with ADHD
It’s a glamorous life! Not.
ADHD — Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder… it’s a mouthful, right?
I self-diagnosed myself at 33 with the help of a coach friend who had ADHD and specialized as an ADHD Coach. He suggested taking an online assessment and finding out more about it.
And I did!
And suddenly and unexpectedly, everything made sense in my life!
Now, I had an explanation for the infinite doomsday scenarios I was making when learning something new for the first time, the impulsivity I had to buy something I don’t necessarily need or really want, or when ordering food, my need to talk and many times overshare with others about my life, problems, challenges without them asking. → I have lost friends because of oversharing, mind you! 😞
The “exploding mind” as I call it when an infinite amount of thoughts run through my brain and I can’t focus, the “play in a loop” intense emotional moments until I can’t anymore, and many more.
Now, I knew what was happening to me and I could find the solution!
Easy, right?
All my life, I was a planner.
I liked planning, scheduling, organizing things. I guess I was trying to create order for a mind that had its own mind and will — never aligned with mine.
Knowing that I have ADHD, I could put my planning skills to good use for me and my life. I keep a Google calendar that has my whole life and a paper agenda for notes, thoughts, reflections and to get the satisfaction when you cross/tick something that was done out!
If one day, Google calendar goes on strike, gets hacked, disappears, I am fucked! 😛
You get an idea of how ADHD presents in my life but what does it mean to live with ADHD?
It’s not a glamorous life!
Sometimes it’s the complete opposite, and almost every day it’s a balance act.
Example of a good day with ADHD:
- Waking up around 11am after 3 alarms have ranged and been snoozed at least twice each.
- Morning routine — pooping, washing, oatmeal for breakfast
- Start to work before lunch for a few hours
- Lunch at 2pm — rest until 3:30pm
- Afternoon coaching sessions
- Continue work for a few more hours
- Work done by 9pm — read a book or go out for a drink
- Go to sleep before 12am
This is a very good day to be honest, and hasn’t been happening for a while. Right now, it sounds like my ideal kind of day!
Almost everyday with ADHD
- Have an alarm to ring at 11am — snooze it and wake up 2h later at 1pm
- Morning routine
- Check what’s left for breakfast — eg a banana or if there is milk, possibly oatmeal
- Get ready for the afternoon coaching sessions
- Break to figure out what to eat for lunch/dinner at 6pm wondering “Do I wanna cook?”
- If I am in a good mood, I might cook — if not, “hello, x delivery service”
- Eat while enjoying some Netflix/hallmark/cheesy movie/series
- Work a few hours
- Go to sleep after 12am
And here is an example of a bad day with ADHD:
- Went to sleep early morning, alarm is there but who cares
- Wakes up at 4pm
- If there is something edible — eat it for “breakfast”
- If I have coaching sessions, I’ll get ready for them
- If not, push myself to work for my non-coaching clients
- If I manage to start working, hooray!!
- If not, I’ll stay in front of Netflix/hallmark/movies/series until it’s dark again
- At some point, my stomach will remind me I haven’t eaten at all all day and will order something to eat unless I am broke, then I will cook something to eat.
- Go to sleep the next morning
And this is how I live with ADHD.
Sometimes, it’s not really living, just surviving the day.
And before you ask, why I don’t get medicated for my ADHD, let me tell you that the 2 medical professionals that saw me, denied diagnosing me because “my ADHD isn’t severe enough”…
Does that life sound amazing?
Do you want in? No?
I wonder why…