Neurotypical People Willfully Refuse to Provide Much Needed Accommodations for People With Autism, Because They Are Indifferent to Autistic Suffering, and Inhumane In Their Behaviors And Actions Inflicted Upon Those of Us WIth Autism
Neurotypicals Say that They Want to Help Us . . .
But, do they?
I remember some times in my life that I’ve had to deal with neurotypical bullshit, which was when I was in senior kindergarten, elementary school, and when I was in high school. Now I am in college to tell you my experiences with neurotypical rhetoric.
Growing up, I remember being kicked out of a Jewish daycare after failing one month’s trial because the people who worked there didn’t even want to understand an Autistic child like me and they had negative perceptions of me.
Another time I remember being kicked out of an educational institute was Brownridge Public Schoo. Why? Because I threw a book to a teacher’s face (I am not sure if she was okay at the time because I’ve forgotten most of it), and I was kicked out for it.
During that time, my family had to choose between sending me to a “special” school or moving away to a town where I would be able to attend a mainstream class so that I can thrive…
But of course, I am thankful for them for choosing the second option instead of listening to the bullcrap that some people said about me. There was that one time where some so-called program leader told my mother that I should never go to their program ever again, that is what I can remember from what my mother said to her friend at the time.
Luckily, I had a very supportive and understanding teacher assistant (whom I will call Mrs. K for some reason). Mrs. K understood me and she was understanding about who I was and was one of the first people to accept me for who I am as an Autistic person besides my family because there were teacher assistants who thought that they knew my needs based on stereotypes in terms of what an Autistic person looked like
Stereotypes about Autistic folx like me and many others weren’t true… and yes, there was that one teacher assistant who was mostly nice and a decent human being who taught me well, but the things she said I most likely internalized even if I didn’t remember, such as “help me understand…”, “do it maturely…”, and so forth.
Every Autistic person is unique and resilient, yet neurotypicals aren’t ready for this conversation yet and never will be because they literally refuse to decenter themselves and make everything all about them.
However, I was very thankful to have made some good friends who understood me in high school, yet I’ve heard plenty of ableist words and phrases from my ex-friends in high school along with my then-ex-boyfriend (who I will call S for privacy reasons), such as “he’s got special needs…”, and more that I’ve most likely given less of a care about since I graduated high school just to get the hell out of there.
I remember one time when I was diagnosed with scoliosis as a youngster, the doctors saw in my history that I was Autistic, and I think that the doctors told my mother that they should make a referral to a psychiatrist (medical ableism in Ontario’s healthcare system). Folx, I’m writing this sarcastically because it’s also transmisic.
However, my mother refused (she advocated for me) because she didn’t want me to go through that, and she even told the doctors that she would take this to the media.
There was also a time that I remember going through my break-up with now-ex because he told me that he wanted to break-up with me and he lost feelings for me along with the lines of wanting to protect me from himself or something like that. That actually hurt me emotionally (it broke my heart badly) because I genuinely thought that he actually liked me, but he didn’t because he had me as a “girlfriend”. and being cis as well before I realized as of this year that I do not ever have to be a girl and that it is okay with me to explore myself in terms of gender identity. Even if I was still cis, I would still keep experimenting with the idea, for no other reason than to show off to his friends.
There was a person who did his best that he could to comfort me, and I appreciate his efforts to this day. But, one of my ex-friends said that he was “cheesed”, but to my severe dismay, he was treating me as if I was a three-year-old.
It could’ve been possibly ableist because I was learning how painful the first love always is and even if one moved on by “working” on oneself, as some NTs say and even neurodivergent folx say: by listening to boyfriend (or joy-friend [unisex variation of girlfriend/boyfriend, but even better, there are more variations such as “date-mates” nd ASMRs – I mostly stuck with the boyfriend ones because I was so used to them at this point.
After I told one of my ex-friends what happened, my ex-friend told me that he was cheating on me behind my back.
It was always his fault that he made the choice to do that, and NEVER the innocent people who are dragged into his harem.
Basically, what I am saying when I referred to his harem at the end of the last paragraph is from real life, which refers to a secluded house or part of it that is dedicated to women in some Muslim households; the wives, female concubines, servants, and/or relatives that occupy one, and/or from anime when the Main Character, usually a perisex and allocishet, able-bodied and neurotypical man) is bombarded by plenty of women for him to choose at the end and some MC men in harem anime typically lead women on, and yes misogyny, unfortunately, exists as it exists everywhere in the toxic sides of anime fandoms.
When I was in college, I was honestly glad for myself that I decided to sever ties with my ex-friends because I saw how immature they were being, and they claimed that I never come to their “hangouts, which was actually bullshit because:
a) I didn’t even know where they live
b) They wouldn’t f***ing blink for a second if I was ever stolen or kidnapped in front of them.
c) I actually care about my studies unlike them because all they ever care about are their hangouts, and I realized that they acted like the neurotypical assholes they actually are.
So, yeah I’ve shared some of my experiences with neurotypical bullshit, and hopefully, it gives an understanding of how much bullshit there is in the sayings of “We’re trying to help you…”, “We don’t want you to suffer anymore…”, “You don’t want to be miserable anymore, do you?”, and so forth.
If y’all ever feel alone… I would like to let you know that you aren’t alone because I was in the same boat as you too, and I would rather provide solidarity than NT bulls**t “advice”, which doesn’t actually help most of the time because it is stated in an NT perspective instead of an intersectionally neurodiverse, neurodivergent and/or Autistic one.
~ From One-Modal or Diverse Autistic, and to all my Autistic Siblings and Friends, because I Hear, See, and Feel You ❤.