Leadership terrifies me.
There I said it. It’s true. The thought have having the success or failure of others depend on my ability to lead them is one of the most stressful things I can imagine. I can hardly depend on myself, let alone convince others to depend on me as well. It has baffled me for years how a leader doesn’t just crumble under the pressure. But now that I have a job where leadership is actually cultivated instead of just expected, I think I’ve found a key to pursuing leadership without having to be afraid of it.
It really all comes down to the fact that no one is perfect. My leader is not perfect, his leader is not perfect and the C.E.O. of the company I work for is not perfect. I’ve thought for so many years that leadership meant never messing up, always hitting the mark, never letting people down. These concepts are complete myths. Nothing could be further from the truth because we are all flawed in so many ways.
This is reassuring in a weird sense because I spent the majority of my life following people who, in my eyes, were perfect. I would hang on every word, follow every instruction, obey every request. Then, inevitably, they would do something that would make me do a mental double take. They’d miss the mark, say something wrong, or act out of character. It would throw me off completely. And not only would I get confused, but I’d get really angry!
“Who does this person think they are?”
“Who seriously put them in charge?”
“Do they not care about any of the people who look up to them?”
“I can NEVER trust this person again!”
Those thoughts would ruin the shiny image of that person forever. This was obviously unfair to the leader but it was also unfair to me. You see, I held that leader in such high regard that I had placed a god-like expectation on them and if they couldn’t maintain it, I surely never could either. By writing them off as insufficient leaders I was in turn writing myself off as well. That’s when it struck me. If leaders make mistakes all the time (just like me) and they find themselves unsure and scared (just like me) maybe… they’re… just… like… me.
Well there were a couple differences between me and my leaders.
1: they were put in leadership and I wasn’t.
2: they didn’t give up easily and I did.
But the root of it all was there: the fact that we are all humans who make mistakes. Suddenly, leadership wasn’t terrifying… it was enticing. I mean, what a character-building position to be in: to know that all eyes are on you as you walk out your life trying to encourage and build others to do great things. How could you not come out a better person through that? With that much attention to how you interact, treat, and help people, it’s a guaranteed refining process. And I’m a weirdo because I actually like refining myself.
I started viewing my leaders in a different light. These are people that need my help just as much as I need theirs. If I know my leader’s weak points I can help them lead better. Not by pointing out everything they’re doing wrong but by being available and willing to help. This can look like asking questions after a meeting to get more clarification, checking in with them to see if there’s anything they need, bringing possible solutions to problems that haven’t been addressed yet.
If you’re a leader and someone on your team did that for you, wouldn’t you feel the pressure just evaporate? How much easier would it be to lead a team if your team was fighting for your success just as much as you fight for theirs. It’s a weird concept, I know, but if I’m going to be a leader some day I’m going to have to start treating my leaders the way I want to be treated. Leaders are not know-it-alls. They’re not super humans. They’re you… with more responsibility. Sure, there are giftings and character qualities that help some people lead better than others, but no matter how good someone is at leading people, they can never do it alone. That’s why at my work we have teams. We’re not employees, we’re team members. We don’t have bosses and managers, we have team leaders. We’re in this together, and if we remember to help and support the imperfect people leading us, we can accomplish incredible things.
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