Go to the profile of Sai Ramachandran
Sai Ramachandran
Founder @ https://www.2ndlook.xyz. Ex-Goldman. Recovering Techie. Former New Yorker. Indian. Strategist. Word lover. Email: hello@sairamachandr.in

VisualBonus

Which do you like better?

Here are the changes I made —

  1. “Built by top agents for agents” sounds clunky. Built what? For whom? Top agents in...? I had these questions as soon as I landed on your page. So, I brought the focus back to the product and the target customer with “The BEST sales management suite for Insurance Agencies”
  2. Your subheading was very circle-jerky about VisualBonus. I wanted to turn it around and focus on the customer and your credibility as the maker of the product. Hence — “Helping YOU stay productive and save time. Built with love by your fellow agents.”

Thoughts?