Blocked and Confused
Where do I go from here?
Have you ever felt like this? I’m at a point where I’m just blocked and confused. In an attempt to even write an article, since it’s definitely been a while, I’m using my feelings and thoughts to write for me today.
We all use the excuse that there is so much going on in our lives when we cut things off or even take breaks from writing. Truthfully, I think this is more for our benefit than anything else. Something to make us feel better because we need to have a reason for why we aren’t writing. Honestly, though? I just get to a point that my feelings are so heavy that sometimes I even feel like my head will explode from just my complex thought process at times. Other times, it doesn’t even have to be complex, just overloaded.
I get this overwhelming feeling to write because I’m so passionate in my mind about hundreds of things and then my brain pauses. It goes, wait…are you sure you are writing something that makes sense or are other’s going to be like, this gal’s gone bananas. A number of things happen at once. Here are a few:
- Self-Doubt creeps in telling me I’m not good enough or others will not want to hear what I have to say.
- Insecurity leads me to places in my mind that tells me that no one thinks like me so why should I even bother?
- Overwhelming passion about a topic leads me to feel like if I write about something, I fear I may go overboard and speak with rambling’s as opposed to wisdom. (That in itself can lead to your reader’s second-guessing you or even their opinions of you.)
I’m sure a lot of you out there can feel the same way that I do at times. For those of you who do not understand, then believe me when I tell you, it’s increasingly frustrating to feel these things. They lead your thought processes down even more strenuous and stressful paths and eventually you have forgotten the whole reason you were initially passionate about something.
It’s not easy in this day and age to express yourself freely anymore. You are marked, branded, or even canceled at times. Your voice is no longer just talking about your feelings. Your voice now means that if whoever is listening does not agree with you, then you are a downright villain. When did society become this way? I suppose if we are being realistic about this then it’s always been this way. People are just becoming more openly defensive, angrier, or full of hate as the years go by. Everyone hates the talk of agendas, plans, and intentions. The only difference now is that they are being spoken out in the open whereas once upon a time it was being held in secret. Personally, I would much rather have open eyes than closed ones, but some people like the dark. I don’t.
I write this because I’m at a block…a standstill in my writing, per say. My mind is growing and with that comes knowledge. Knowledge is wisdom and with that comes newfound consequences. The saying ignorance is bliss is completely understood. Knowledge and wisdom have many advantages, however if used incorrectly can be a house built on sand even still. I’m working on building my house on a rock and with that comes many hours of contemplation, studying, and praying.
The point behind this is for all those who are like me and experiencing blocked moments and confusion on what to write about? Write what your heart tells you to. Write about what feeds your soul. Write about something that you can look back to and say, “Well said.”
Tell the world what needs to be said. Make a difference. Help a life. Change a life. Encourage a life. Just do something positive that will feed their souls. Your own as well.
My statement for the day? “I’m so thankful for my heavenly Father Yahweh and His son who died for us, Yahushua.” The knowledge that I have received over that last several weeks has put many things into perspective for me and I’m so grateful to have received it. May you all be blessed with a beautiful week! I love you guys!
-L.A. Walker
