ON ENTERING A NEW YEAR
January 1, 2024
I woke up this morning, not feeling excited, sad or anything. Just numb. I didn’t call a lot of people to wish them happy new year, as the custom suggests; I called just my Mum, Dad, and elder brother. This is not because I’m someone who doesn’t love people, I do, I just didn’t feel it.
Maybe I’m feeling this way because I stayed back home alone last night.
For some reasons, I couldn’t go for the “All night crossover” service that happened at TBS Onikan stadium. I stayed behind and resolved that I was going to join online.
Then my network happened midway.
While staring at the rotating loading sign on my screen, waiting for the YouTube live to reconnect, I fell asleep.
An hour later, I was woken by the sound of my phone ringing. I checked and it was my friend Samuel calling. My eyes catches the time on the upper part of my screen and it is 12:48am.
Shit. It’s new year.
I Can’t believe I missed the countdown, can’t believe I missed the “praising my way into the new year” section.
I just slept.
With these thoughts running through my mind, I groggily pick up the call.
“Hello?”
“Hi my woman, how are you?” a shrill voice responds.
His babe answered.
Oh.
Didn’t see that coming. They must be together then, I think. Must be nice; attending church programs together as a couple.
I suddenly realize how empty the house is, and feel like I’m the only one home in the entire street.
“I’m fine dear, how are you?”
“Zikora, how are you?” Samuel asks from the other end of the line.
“I’m fine oh, happy new year”
“Where are you?” He asks again, almost cutting into my sentence.
“I’m at home” I reply, “I attended online”
“Alright then, that’s fine. I just wanted to know where you were”
And the call ends.
I look at the phone again.
Just like that??
“I just wanted to know where you were”
No explanation, no reasons why?
First off, No happy new year!? I thought that’s what the call was about?
Still, I can’t help but recall the question;
“Where are you?”
It sounded like a mystery puzzle sent to me by the hand of a mysterious being; Just floating around, waiting for me to figure it Out.
I try to ignore all the theatrics coming into notice at the moment, and just answer the question bravely;
“I am at home”
“Alone” a voice completes the sentence“On a crossover night into a new year”
I shrink.
I’ve heard this tone before.
Judging, full of mockery, almost taunting.
Then it dawns on me;
I really wanted to attend the program physically.
Oh well, what’s done is done.
I open WhatsApp to see people’s status flooded with videos of knockouts and fireworks, screaming and jumping and laughter and “Thank God I made it” posts. I smile and react to some, yet I can’t help but wonder what they’re so excited about.
I mean, I get that God has been faithful — I’m a testimony of that, He kept you alive to see the new year, but doesn’t that bring up the question; “what’s next?”
I’d been meditating for some days now, asking the Holyspirit that question for the new year, and all He has told me so far, is that I’ll fast.
Not a very excitement-inducing response, Is it?
So what on earth are they excited for? Some people are just screaming, not because they are grateful to God or, understand the grace of having to enter into a new year, but because “it’s what everyone is doing” and they don’t want to seem left out.
Maybe this goes to show our nature as humans. The unique thing God allowed us to have — bravery. Not having to think about tomorrow, and basking in the moment, believing that whatever comes, we’ll get through it.
So I caution myself to stop being so pessimistic and look at the bright side;
Believing it will be well.
