A Subjective Top Ten — The Best Songs From “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend”

The brainchild of Rachel Bloom and Aline Brosh McKenna, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is one of the brightest stars in the night sky of television. Mixing comedy with romance and drama, the series has gained a devoted following over the course of its three seasons.

What sets Crazy Ex-Girlfriend apart from other productions are the ingenious musical numbers that support the plot. Through song and choreography, the series expertly makes fun of the entire music industry, while at the same time managing to address serious issues in light-hearted ways.

With a variety of impressive songs to choose from, it seems almost impossible to come up with a top ten list of the best Crazy Ex-Girlfriend tracks. Let’s try it nevertheless, shall we?

10. “Love Kernels”

If Camila Cabello’s superhit “Havana” taught us anything, it’s that spoken introductions to music videos can make all the difference. This one starts with lines such as “I’m a sexy fashion cactus living from compliment to compliment.” Wow.

Then it turns into a pseudo-dramatic love song that mocks the ridiculously abstract symbolism often used in popular music (hello, Sia). This song definitely gives you musical love kernels.

9. “Women Gotta Stick Together”

It’s impossible not to love Valencia, the bitchy and sexy (she’s so good at yooooga) antagonist-turned-friend. So when she starts singing an inspirational feminist anthem, you know you’re in for a treat.

Women gotta stick together — as long as Valencia is the queen. Her message is that everyone else is fat and ugly, but that she supports her less fortunate female friends anyway. Aw, the feels!

8. “Research Me Obsessively”

Who would have thought that a song about stalking someone online can be this sexy? “You know you wanna dig for me relentlessly, ah-ha,” Brittany Snow’s character Anna Hicks breathes, delivering what may be one of the most impressive vocal performances of the TV series.

Content-wise, we get quite a few useful tips for social media “research”. And, let’s be honest, we’ve all done at least some of these things at some point, haven’t we? As Anna states, “it’s not stalking cause the information is all technically public.” So no need to worry.

7. “We’ll Never Have Problems Again”

The colours! The dancing! The melodies! This Soul Train inspired love song pokes fun at both disco music and starry-eyed, delusional lyrics about true love.

Visually, Rebecca and Josh’s outfits in combination with the glowing “Love=Yay!” sign in the background are so wrong that they’re so right. The same applies to over-the-top lyrics like “the only money we’ll need is sunsets” or “our love has made us totes invincible”. The awkward fade-out as a nod to old disco music is also a brilliant touch.

But let’s be honest, the real scene stealer is Heather soul-training. Everything else pales in comparison.

6. “I’m A Good Person”

If you ever feel bad about yourself — or just have to get up way too early in the morning — turn on “I’m A Good Person” and you’ll find yourself smiling and dancing ten seconds in. The melodies are catchy as hell, and the lyrics are full of clever references (#humbleandblessed).

Oh, and then there’s this line: “My nickname is Mother Theresa Luther King.” That alone guarantees the song a place on this top ten list.

5. “The Moment Is Me”

One of the breakout characters in Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is Heather, a perpetually bored and too-cool-for-emotions college student. Naturally, she is the perfect choice for a painfully cheesy, happy-go-lucky, Glee-like inspirational musical number that ticks all the Disney boxes.

From weird symbolism to senseless musings about the passing of time, and from an awkward meeting with the future self to teenage dancers jumping around in the background: “The Moment Is Me” contrasts hilariously with Heather’s character and her, ehm, energetic vocals.

4. “California Christmas Time”

Coming in at number four is Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’s own kind of christmas carol (“it’s this chick named Carol, she does henna tattoos”). Classic christmas song instrumentation and melodies are paired with lyrics about Vietnamese elves, unemployed stuntmen playing Santa Claus, and eggnog froyos.

Whether this is a celebration or a parody of christmas in California is up to you to decide, but one thing is for sure: even without stereotypical mentions of snow and christmas lights, this track is actually a very good christmas song. Mainly because the chorus is simply sublime.

3. “Gettin’ Bi”

Welcome to the top three and to a song that is this high up on the list for two reasons. One, it’s an insanely catchy banger. Two, it addresses a topic that is generally ignored in the media: bisexuality.

Essentially, “Gettin’ Bi” (hooray for that pun!) is one massive, entertaining mythbuster. Bisexual people actually exist, they are not gay people in denial, they are not sex-obsessed sluts, and they’re not merely confused. Few musical numbers convey such an important message in such an enjoyable way. Hats off to Crazy Ex-Girlfriend for including this gem (and a bisexual character in the first place).

2. “Dream Ghost”

“You know the trope, in storytelling it’s a norm. When a person’s in trouble a manifestion of their subconscious appears in the form of a dream ghost, giving advice you kind of already knew. ”

Not only does “Dream Ghost” make fun of this rather clichéd way of dealing with a character’s feelings, it’s also a brilliant parody of the Broadway musical and film Dreamgirls. The song shows the ability of the Crazy Ex-Girlfriend writers to kill two birds — or even more — with one stone.

With flawless vocals, fun visuals, and amazing hooks, “Dream Ghost” just misses out on the top spot.

Honourable Mentions

Before we get to number one, here are some songs that didn’t quite make the list, but are also undeniably fantastic:

“The Sexy Getting Ready Song” — the ultimate destruction of a ridiculous stereotype.

“Good At Yoga” — the best introduction of a bitchy villain EVER.

“Duh!” — the best boyband song that isn’t a boyband song.

“So Maternal” — the new anthem for all super moms.

“Oh My God I Think I Like You” — the one song that’s more romantic than an Adele/Ed Sheeran duet could ever be (kind of).

1. “Let’s Generalize About Men”

This song is three minutes of pure perfection. It’s not only the best song from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, but also a serious contender for best song of 2017 in general — although Camila Cabello may have something to say about this.

A glittering 80s number with bright eye make-up, colour-coded costumes, flawless choreography, and hooks that Taylor Swift and co. would die for, “Let’s Generalize About Men” is the hit we didn’t know we desperately needed in our lives. Needless to say, it also addresses an important topic in a hilarious way, which makes it the shining example of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’s winning formula.

In the end, though, the real question is: where can you buy that glitter spray can used at 2:30?