I Wrote About What Scared Me and Lived to Tell it Like it is
Here’s how it taught me to live and write without limits.
I never liked to feel vulnerable. I would rather say absolutely nothing than have my feelings take the reins and dictate how the story ends. I would convince myself that my emotions had no place in my professional writing, that I couldn’t possibly tell the world what was really on my mind, and live to write another day. I worried about the toll it would take on me. As I wrote about the experiences that shook me to my core, that made me question everything, but I did it anyway, and I’m still here.
It’s incredible how freeing it can be to let your writing and your feelings find a middle ground. I knew that I wanted to get to a point in both my life and my career where writing remained an integral part of my journey, but I never thought I’d be able to open up as much as I have. I never thought I’d enjoy sharing my experiences with the world, and I’ve finally gotten to a place where it has become fulfilling.
The Diary of a Young, Impressionable Girl
I remember what it would feel like, the weight being lifted from my shoulders as I’d pen the less than likely scenarios down into my diary all those years ago. It was freeing then, and I truly believed that no one would dare invade my privacy. Part of me, at that age, would always believe that my life would be over if I let my real thoughts out into the world, but that was never the case.
The things I wrote in there could never prepare me for the trials life had to offer once I got older. I spent so much of my life bottling up every worry, every hindrance, and ever inhibition in the hopes that it would all someday go away. Little did I know, I’d be rescuing myself one day — and I had my writing to thank for that.
I Wrote to Escape, Just as Much as I Wrote to Tell the Truth
I let the stories out onto paper, whether they’d be a direct recollection of everything I had been experiencing or something to take my mind off of it all for a while. I was writing every chance I got because it was the only thing I felt that I could rely on at the time, the one thing that would never fail me. I decided to make writing a consistent part of my everyday life when I got older because it has helped me to not only understand the world around me, but it also helped me to understand myself.
So, I Took the Plunge
I let myself be vulnerable. I allowed myself to experience everything all over again so that I could realize just how far I’ve come. I no longer listened to those around me saying it was nothing but a bad idea, and I wrote about the things that mattered the most to me. It scared me every step of the way. Every time I set out to do it from now on, I know that I’ll be hesitant, but at least I can see it from the other side. It made me think twice about why I started writing in the first place. I wrote about my experiences because they were all I knew, and I eventually allowed myself to dream of new possibilities.
Looking back, I wouldn’t change a thing. I get up every day excited to write, eager to share my experiences with the world. I know that there will be people who have differing opinions, that there’s no telling whether what I write will reach anyone, but I had to try. I took the plunge to write about what I’ve learned in the hopes that it’ll make a difference someday. I learned the importance of acknowledging that my feelings do have a place in my writing, and I’ll never forget that.
Neither do you.
You get to decide how you progress, how hard you work, and what that means to you. Acknowledge the experiences that have made you who you are, because it can put things into perspective.
It can change your life.
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