Movie Review: Prisoners of the Lost Universe (1983)
Prisoners of the Lost Universe is a classic bad movie. There’s not a lot of imagination here, but it remains entertaining. An attractive TV presenter, Carrie Madison (Kay Lenz, House) and loser electriction, Dan Roebuck (Richard Hatch, TV’s Battlestar Galactica) get transported to another dimension by Dr. Hartmann’s (Kenneth Hendel) teleportation device.
There’s some good stuff with the two main characters initially, as neither of them like each other much. They get attacked by a bunch of weird creatures, and end up hanging from a cliff when a giant caveman kills the creatures that attacked them.
They climb up and save a character only known as the Greenman (Ray Charleson), who shows them around a bit. He demonstrates his fruit gun thing when Carrie is attacked when bathing in the water.
The Greenman takes off, and Carrie is taken by a warlord named Kleel (John Saxon, A Nightmare on Elm Street), who shoots Dan when he tries to intervene.
Dan is saved by the worst character in the movie: Malachi (Peter O’Farrell). Malachi is a shifty and obnoxious guy who seems to be an attempt at comic relief that really isn’t necessary since so much of the movie ends up being unintentionally funny.
Carrie nearly gets raped by one of Kleel’s men, until the caveman steps in and beats her would-be rapist. Kleel then intervenes, shooting the caveman.
Malachi and Dan find the Caveman, and they all decide to go and rescue Carrie. Along the way, Dan has to find a giant silver guy in a diaper, in one of the sillier moments of the movie.
As a result, Dan is armed with a sword, and goes and rescues Carrie. They find Dr. Hartmann, the person indirectly responsible for sending them there, and he’s apparently doing quite well. They get re-captured, but Hartmann lets out Dan.
Dan, Malachi, the Greenman, and Dr. Hartmann plan to blow up Kleel’s fortress. Dan lays a trail of gunpowder and lights and in disguise attempts to rescue Carrie, reaching for Kleel’s gun, but getting Kleel to take up his sword against him. Carrie grabs the gun and points it at him. She punches Kleel instead and takes off with Dan.
Dan cuts his way through a bunch of guards with a sword while Malachi and the Greenman trigger a bunch of explosions outside.
Dan, Carrie, the Greenman, Malachi, the giant, and Dr. Hartmann all escape as the place goes up in flames. Malachi finds some gold that is apparently the key to them returning to their dimension, and Carrie and Dan take off, leaving Hartmann, Malachi, the Greenman, and the Giant to fight whatever war they’ve just started.
It’s entertaining, but certainly not good. It has a really fun heroically cheesy theme song that I just can’t get enough of.
It’s very cheap, but it’s charming. There’s no real imagination here and not a whole lot of effort put in to making you believe you’re in another world, but that’s part of the fun.
Rating: 3/10
