Ally Chats: Starting the Journey
Ally Chats: An Ally’s perspective
Welcome back for the second installment of this blog series in which I will write not just as a member of an Under-Represented Group (LGBTQIA+) but also as an Ally across many society sectors.
Starting in with this installment, I will be asking you to take between 5 to 10 minutes to do a mindfulness exercise as this helps with the processing of information provided. I will also be including some very personal stories, some of which I have not shared with others, and some that are well known amongst my friends. Again, I do apologize if I start to overload you with information. I tend to be of the thought there is no such thing as too much information.
My goal is to challenge each person to grow and gain strength as they move forward with their causes and help support and provide platforms for those whose voices may be lost in the shuffle of daily life or muted due to circumstances beyond their control. Many who know me know that I will not shy away from speaking up and calling out what I see as disconnects, hypocritical stances, and suppressive ideologies. I admit I am still learning and growing myself within these areas. Mistakes will be made, which is ideal in that they help redirect from incorrect actions to correct and helpful ones. Saying that, now I would like you to take a moment and know that you too will make mistakes, and it is alright. Let us start this journey together.
Where do we Start?
For many who are starting and beginning to get involved with Employee Resource Groups or Business Employee Resource Groups, we have been caught up with our emotional responses to the moment. This ignites an unknown or unrecognized passion for wanting to step up and make a difference within the world at large — what better way to do so than to get involved and participate in this extraordinary adventure.
While this is an excellent start, it would be wise to take a step back and ask yourself some fundamental questions about motive. This should involve a brutally honest internal conversation with yourself as well as others that you wish to assist. As Lao Tzu put it: “Knowledge of others is wisdom, knowing yourself is enlightenment.” Let us stop right here for a brief moment. Please take the time to reread that statement. Ponder it, think upon it, and take five to ten minutes to meditate on it mindfully. That is a compelling statement.
In Daniel Goleman’s book Emotional Intelligence, he retells a Japanese story about a Samurai and a Zen Master. The recognition of emotional actions by the Samurai was described by the Master. Upon his realization coming to light, the Samurai became aware of the difference between experiencing an emotional reaction and having an awareness of that emotional reaction. When dealing with the subjects of Diversity, Justice, Equity, Belonging, and Inclusion, we must bear in mind that it is a very emotionally charged arena and for a good reason. There is a lot of social programming that we need to become aware of and we must face truths that are uncomfortable. This is the time for the growing pains as we strive walk the talk, not just lip service and performative allyship.
Before you dive right in, I would strongly encourage everyone to take a moment and write down this simple question: “What is your motivation for doing this?” If your honest response is that you want to do it because it needs to be done, you are on the correct path to success. I am not saying that other answers are invalidated, just that this is the ideal from what I have seen from my past experiences. When ego gets involved for ego’s sake, things begin to get messy, causing unnecessary issues while taking focus away from your end goal of helping each other out. I will discuss ego driven allyship in my next post.
ERG/BRG/Affinity Groups
Before we get into the heart of the subject about ERGs, Affinity Groups, and BRGs, I would like to start by sharing a personal story with you. I had just made a significant career change and was two months into my new job. I had been working with my new teammates and was meeting new coworkers throughout the office. One of my coworkers was leaving to return to India for a family visit over the holiday season. Some asked me if I would like to participate in a surprise potluck luncheon for her. I jumped at the chance to join in and participate because I felt honored and humbled that I was asked to participate.
This potluck luncheon was the beginning of the formation of our South Asia Employee Resource Group. It was always there, just not formalized. It would be another year and a half before we formalized. Our company was acquired for the second time, but this time by a larger company with ERGs already formed. Throughout this incubation period, we would gather and started thinking of ways to educate our coworkers about South Asian culture and celebrations. As an Ally and cheerleader, I would help with celebrations and internal postings of the festivities with educational articles. We would post to engage and visit desk to desk during our breaks plotting for fun.
Throughout this, I would listen to the concerns that this small group would bring up regarding immigration, social understandings, and show support for each of my coworkers, encourage them to speak up, and provide a platform for them to speak from. I would also talk to others who were not of South Asian descent and ask for their input on how better to help my new work family.
Key to this process is listening first, asking questions then acting. By listening first and asking the questions of “What, can I do to help you?” and “How can I help you feel more comfortable?” you can best inform your own actions. That is what being an active ally is. There were many days of going back and forth with my coworkers so I could understand what they wanted to say that was not being heard by others. After gaining the clarity for the message, I would ask if any of them would like to voice it and provide them the opportunity to first speak up, even volunteering to be in the room with them as support. If they were not comfortable speaking, I would ask them to come with me as I delivered the message that they were wanting convey.
I found that by leveraging my social privilege as a white male, I have to ask myself one question all the time “Are they being treated by others, or society, the same way I would want to be treated?” If my answer is “No.” then I must find a way to help correct that. It is just the way I am wired to respond. You may have heard a similar question that was posited by Anti-racism Activist Jane Elliott during a speech where she asked anyone in the white audience to stand up if they would like to be treated the way black people are treated in western countries.
Through my actions, I became, at the request of others, the Co-Founder and Vice President of the local office South Asian ERG and then part of the Global Leadership team as their Financial Chair for all 15,000+ members and 18 offices where we have a presence (and growing). This is a passion for me, seeing the creation and success of all groups that seek to amplify voices, bring humanity into the cold world of business, and advocate for equality for all workforce members.
What is an ERG / Affinity Group / BRG?
Employee Resource Groups were first activated by Xerox in 1964 in response to the Civil Rights movement. Black employees organized to better expose the systemic racism that was just starting to be seen by the country at large. It would be in 1970 when the first official ERG called National Black Employees Caucus at Xerox would be formalized. The earliest reliable documents that can be found show that PG&E(Pacific Gas and Electric) activated a Chinese Employees Association sometime in the 1980’s though the exact date is not on records used for this article. It has since evolved to become the Asian Employee Resource Group. It would not be until 2010 and onward through 2020, that the cracks would be blown wide open, and the country at large would begin to be held accountable for some systemic racism. If you noticed, I chose the word ‘activated’ instead of ‘created’ as this was considered an activist movement that would challenge the set accepted social paradigms of how people perceived things should be considered ‘acceptable.’ These were the fledgling steps of what would be the beginning of major social paradigm shifts. This change of social conscious awareness is still being shaped to this day.
From their very inception, and even in their names: Affinity, Inclusive, Employee, we see a very human attribute, the sense of belonging, connection, togetherness all being at the very core of what these groups are. Over a short span of time, it was delegated to the Human Resources department to oversee the ERG’s formation and functionality to help ensure legal compliance and help tick off the requirements boxes. While, for the most part, the Human Resources department has been doing a fair job over the last fifty-plus years since the ERG formation, it hasn’t evolved enough with the times and, in some ways, has become stagnant. During this time we also saw the interests of business begin to leverage ERGs for their own purposes, sometimes decaying the humanity from ERGs. This is warping them into small sub-businesses, and destroying their original focus and humanity. Now is a crucial time for ERGs. They should not become a tool for business goals. ERG members need to take ownership and become a stimulus for development and change for themselves. The HR Department’s role should be evolved to encourage and enhance employee feedback and participation for today and tomorrow’s growth.
Resources
Diversity & Inclusion Resources:
Project Implicit Harvard University
Alliance for strong families and communities Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion
Why Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Matter for Nonprofits
Resources for Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion
Emotional Intelligence Resources:
