Ally Chats: Welcome
Introduction
Welcome to Ally Chats hosted by Asian Leaders Alliance. This is a series of articles written by me, Rodney Hill, an Ally to many minority and underrepresented groups. Many of my friends and acquaintances have said that I can melt brains with information overload over the years. This is an ongoing joke between us all. So, I would like to apologize now if I start to melt your brain with a plethora of information. I have the honor and fortune of having a great team here at the Asian Leaders Alliance who review each of my articles before they hit the web. Thank you, team, so much for your help in ensuring that I am communicating the best way for your messages to get out to the public.
Who I am
Let me take a moment here to do a more in-depth introduction of myself here. I want to take this time to give you a truncated bio about myself so you, the reader, have a better understanding of some of the background influences that have helped to shape me into the person I am today.
I am a native Californian, born in the San Joaquin Valley and raised in South Sacramento. My neighborhood was a dynamic mix of race and culture. The school I went to was also a vibrant mix reflecting the areas from which all the students came from. Our teachers were also a mix of races and cultures who made certain that, starting in Kindergarten, we were taught early about civil rights, equality, respecting each other, asking questions so we might learn from each other, and learning how to listen to each other. The Martin Luther King, Jr Library was across the street, and we would take supervised visits regularly to the library during school. My second-grade teacher was also my elder sister’s teacher, who is a first-generation Chinese American. She taught us all so much about being curious to learn from others and not to make assumptions. She made certain that we were all up to speed, even those of us with learning disabilities. In her class, I met my childhood best friend and learned how to empathize with others with another friend who was disabled. We were covering the Pacific Railroad in history and about the treatment and horrors the Chinese immigrants faced. The end of that section of our history curriculum ended with us celebrating the Lunar New Year, where she introduced us to prawn chips. She wanted us to know the truth of what had happened and didn’t shy away from teaching us about it. She shared her heritage and culture with us. Thank you, Miss Nellie Wong, my second-grade teacher.
Just before I turned 14, my family made the move out to the Kansas City, Missouri area, where my father had obtained a job working for the government at one of the IRS locations. I ended up going to the public school system during my last two years of high school.
During this time, I was coming to understand myself and who I was. I didn’t come out of the closet to my friends until after I had graduated. I graduated at the age of seventeen. I then went down to Wichita, Kansas, for a technical school. This was the start of where I ended living off and on the streets until I went to Clearfield Job Corps the summer before I turned twenty-two. A gay/queer white male living in the midwest, living on and off the streets, had many opportunities and challenges that helped shape me.
In 1991, I was at one of my first Gay Pride event that Kansas City hosted at South Moorland Park with Mayor Emmanual Cleaver’s reluctant appearance after he was warned if he did not appear, it could have a negative impact on the citizenry of the city, causing a potential split. By this time, I had already been an advocate for HIV awareness and seeing friends being diagnosed and dying from this disease.
The following year, I went to the Clearfield Job Corps Center, located in the state of Utah. I eventually became the Vice President for the LGB Support group and then the President. We became active with the local Stonewall Center. I came out to my family in February 1993. I ended up being disconnected purposefully by my parents and some other family members for several years until after my husband and I had been together for two years.
After leaving the Job Corps, I worked at a step-down facility and long term care center. It was one of the first care centers to be allowed by the state of Utah to handle long term care for HIV/AIDS patients. This was during a time when many states kept these patients in isolation wards. Dr. Kristen Reis was working at Old Holy Cross Hospital at the time. Dr. Reis is considered to be THE leader in HIV/AIDS treatment in the state of Utah and advocated for the humane treatment of all people regardless of diagnosis. Our facility with Old Holy took the first steps to provide the dignity and humane treatment of HIV/AIDS patients. I was part of that initial care team at the center.
In 1997, I met my husband. On our third anniversary, the state of Utah had stated that anyone who performed same-sex unions or marriages could be charged with a felony. The law did not extend to Federal Forests or Lands. So, we went up into the canyons onto Federal land in the Wasatch National Forest for our wedding. We had our ceremony on our third anniversary and to this day consider it our actual wedding date. It would be another eight years before we were legally married in Sonoma County in 2008. We are part of the 18,000 or so couples married in California in which our legal marriage was being challenged and threatened with being taken away.
In our time together, we started to do some world travel. Our first trip to Europe was a huge eye-opener for us. We were in France at the time and only spoke English. The people in Paris were wonderful and very patient with us as we struggled and stumbled to communicate. It opened our eyes to be even more compassionate in treating those who do not speak English natively at home.
After all those years in the medical field, I made a career change and started working in the tech industry. At first, I felt severely like a fish out of water. The skills I had refined over the years in the medical field came in to help me in my career. It also helped me to become an ally to my coworkers from other countries.
I helped organize the South Asian ERG for our local office, starting as an Ally, then being asked to become their Vice President and eventually move to a more Global position as the Global Finance Chair for all of our offices within the Global South Asian ERG. Through this work, I have been active as an Ally for multiple ERGs.
My Personal Drive
What is my purpose for being an ally? It all goes back to my youth that if I see something that is not correct in any sphere of life, I must act to make it correct since I have seen it. As a person who is considered privileged, I see it as my responsibility to allow and create the space to amplify the voices that are being muted and silenced. It is my responsibility to ensure that they are being heard.
If a person is too afraid to speak up out of fear, it is my responsibility to speak up for them. If a person is afraid to act out of fear of repercussions, let me act for them.
It is a belief of mine that there is no true equality if we are not all treated equally. It does not mean watching the pendulum of inequality, swinging back and forth from one extreme to another. It means that we, as humanity, need to work together to promote each other’s welfare and wellbeing first.
I see many people starting as allies, who either burn out or feel underappreciated by not taking care of themselves first or being too emotionally invested and taking feedback personally. Some are solely doing it for their own ego gratification. Through this series, I wish to address some of this and help others become better allies, advocates, and champions for equality.
So, you may be asking why am I so involved in the Asian/South Asian communities? I have a mixed family that includes Asian members, Filipino, African American, Latinx, LGBTQIA+, Native American, and a niece who is from Thailand. I also am a student of world religions, philosophies, and cultures. Curiosity has always led me to where I needed to be. I believe that we are led to where we are needed at the times when we are needed to help. In 1995 I went to a local shop called India Unlimited, and it was there I was introduced to the South Asian community of Utah, this was when the temple of Lord Ganesh was still in a family’s basement. I also was learning how to sit at a Zen-do during their men’s night.
What is an Ally?
Define
Whenever I need to find a word definition, I always go to the dictionary, or in this case, to the Merriam-Webster website. Here, we see that there are three entries for the word ally. The first definition indicates a unification or connection between. In the second entry in subentry two, we find it refers to helping, providing support, or assistance. Also, we see it as a person who expresses or gives support to a marginalized or mistreated group.
I define the word Ally as one who seeks to create a connection between marginalized or mistreated groups and society at large by providing assistance and support where needed and asked to promote equality and equity at all levels.
Allyship is a journey. There are no maps or directions. There are road signs that have been put in place, but the journey is ours alone. We all are working towards the same goal of equality and equity. We will make mistakes, and it is okay, so long as we own our mistakes and learn from them. As Allies, we need to be open and vulnerable to the emotions and needs of those we are supporting. Being an Ally is taking action, not being a window dressing.
How to start
Here are some resources to help you as you begin your journey to being an active ally:
https://www.wikihow.com/Be-an-Ally
This site provides three parts showing their readers actions that you can do starting right now.
CNN news has articles on how to be a supportive ally
https://www.cnn.com/2020/05/30/us/how-to-be-an-ally-guide-trnd/index.html
Watch Jane Elliott — antiracist activist who is famous for performing the exercise “Blue eyes/Brown eyes” in 1968 with her class the day after the assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Understand the importance of being an Ally
Read How to be an Antiracist by Ibram X Kendi.
I look forward to our journey together.
