What No One Tells You About Asian ‘Respect’

Unpacking the intricate tapestry of reverence, expectations, and silent pressures in Asian families.

Photo by Centre for Ageing Better on Unsplash

Let’s kick things off with a little riddle: What’s something so deeply ingrained in Asian culture that you’d find it everywhere from Lunar New Year celebrations to Sunday family brunches, but rarely ever talked about openly? Ding, ding, ding! If you guessed ‘respect,’ you’re spot on. We’re not just talking about the basic manners of saying “please” and “thank you.” Nah, we’re diving into the cultural chasms of bowing at elders, never talking back, and God forbid, never airing the family’s dirty laundry in public. You feel me?

You might call it ‘respect,’ but let’s be real — it’s complicated.

A Tale of Two Sides

Now, in the spirit of full disclosure, I come from an Asian American background. Born and bred. Growing up, I felt a unique tension between two worlds: The one where your life could turn into an epic melodrama if you brought dishonor to the family, and the other where self-expression and individuality were basically your birthrights.

So, here’s where it gets juicy. If you’ve grown up in an Asian household, or even spent a bit of time around one, you’ll know that the respect I’m…