Maybe I Should Consider Writing About Sex…
Yeah, there’s no fucking way I’m doing that.
I see a lot of ladies writing sex columns these days, and for a hot second, I thought about it.
Don’t worry, I remembered exactly why I don’t write about sex in about 2 seconds.
The shit they write about, though, what the fuck? I really don’t think I could write a graphically sexual column and not blush and stammer all the way through it.
I’m just not that forward in terms of sexuality, I guess, because those bitches are putting it all out there. I’m talking pegging boyfriends, why they love anal, swinging and gangbanging. Shit that I would never even consider talking about in a column, it’s literally their 40 pt. headline, and they’re giving tips on how to blow two guys at once in airport bathrooms in a bullet pointed format.
Yeah. I’m not going to be doing that.
I Just Don’t Want To Encourage These Bozos
I already have my own share of weirdos who feel I’m their personal spank bank. They have zero hesitation writing to tell me all about their nasty ass thoughts, and actually expect me to reply with something like, “oh, that’s awesome. I’m so happy you think of me naked”.
