Listen to the Music

by Troy Thomas

I struggle with being present. My mind likes to wander, always has, always will. Whether I’m in a meeting or talking to my wife, it never shuts off. As a consequence, I tend to keep things to myself. In other words, I hide things. Big and small. Good and bad. Over time, I’ve built an invisible wall that nobody sees, but everyone feels.

Some days it shows up as, “I’m good!” when I could be better. Other days it’s not sharing my work because I’m not connected to it. In each case, I was more focused on myself than the moment. My most vivid memories come from immersing myself in whatever I was doing. Usually, that involved art in some form.

That’s the poetic part. The solution to the problem is what suffers the most, my creativity. I’m the most present when I create something. I am patient and focused. I’m learning the value of consistency. It’s a constant struggle, and it takes practice. As I get older and my priorities shift, my number one goal is to be present every day.

I’m no longer happy pressing play and leaving it on in the background. I want to listen to the music, and let it move me. I want to cruise down the street with the cool wind in my hair. I want to smell the laundry when it comes out of the dryer. I want to kiss my dog square on the mouth.

All I’m saying is that it’s so important to enjoy life as it happens. When I do, I am more self-aware. I have more capacity for love. I am more creative. Most of all, I am being more authentic.

Note to self.