How to break free from the Impostor Syndrome

If you’ve ever felt that you aren’t as good as everyone thinks you are and you are terrified that any moment people who praise you will find out that you really don’t know what you’re doing, then you’ve got IMPOSTOR SYNDROME.

It’s one of those things that people experience particularly when they are outside of their comfort zones and pushing themselves to grow further.

Does everyone feel it? No, not necessarily, there’s varying degrees of difference on how ingrained it is within your psyche and relates to how often you experience this feeling.

Some would say you just have to learn to live with it and that’s not the whole truth.

What to do when you have IMPOSTOR SYNDROME?

There’s three general options you can choose when facing such a feeling.

1. Buldoze through the experience and tough it out despite feeling like an Impostor.
2. Give up and let the feeling take over rendering you helpless and paralyzed.
3. Work on the root cause of the issue and address the issue at its core.

So Option#1 is pretty self explanatory, and most often the common choice. It’s almost like the “fake it until you make it” mantra we hear all the time. Despite the fears, we push the feeling aside and put up a front or take on a different persona temporary to get through a particular situation where we are expected to deliver.

Option#2 is running away as a result of unwillingness to face uncomfortable situation and often stem from a distrust in one’s own abilities.

Last Option, allow us to explore internally what is the cause that is creating the thought of “I’m not worth” or “I’m not good enough”.

As #1 and 2 are both fairly straightforward, let’s focus on Option #3 and explore this further.

Where do you start?

Understand when you are considering option 3, it requires a level of commitment to the self and the willingness to be truthful, honest, lovingand forgiving in the process.

Start by looking back, back when you’re a child, what were the messages you took in? Was it “you can only do this and that”, or were you often neglected and unseen or praised for your efforts. Does you’re inner voice say you’re not enough? Are you worthy of love and do you love yourself?

Do you see a pattern to these questions? They all relate to self- love, self- worth, -self esteem and perception of yourself.

YES, you’ve probably guessed it, the Impostor Syndrome has every bit to do with our upbringing and social conditioning we’ve experience throughout our lives. Lack of love and trust in ourselves translate into the idea that we’re not enough and therefore what we do is probably not of real value. (hence the Impostor idea)

Depending on how deeply rooted this issue goes, you may even see similar thought patterns in your relationship and your own self worth. Sometimes, it will play out in scenarios of overcompensation in relationships because you feel you’re not enough.

So once we know then what?

The awareness is critical in allowing us to carry out deeper conversations with ourselves. You can go through this process by yourself, with a therapist, or some sort of holistic healer. (ideally find someone who is qualified, has gone through the steps, or who has lived through the experience rather than just talk theory)

There are many avenues but essentially process is similar, it’s communicating with your subconscious where you’ve stored your perception of yourself and negotiating and healing those parts that were damaged from outside influences.

Here’s one way you can get started to address your issues. Say if you’re trying to resolve an issue with negative self talk of “I’m not good enough.” The following steps reflect the Parts integration technique within NLP. (Neuro Linguistic programming)

1. Start with calming the mind and breathing to ground and center yourself.
2. Imagine calling forth that self doubt on one hand (doesn’t matter which hand). You can give it a color, shape, or feeling. If you’ve done it properly you may feel a sense of heaviness or a shift in how your body feels. *the idea is to isolate that part of you that is pulling you down with it negative intentions
3. Meditate and understand why that part of you is choose to act out in it’s form. For example, self doubt may be a protective mechanism in preventing yourself from hurt of disappointment. Accept the positive intentions it has for you and recognize the negative impacts it may be having on your life.
4. Talk to yourself, out loud or in your mind, and talk to that isolated part as if it was a person separate from you. Acknowledge it’s existence and the positive intention it holds and point out the fact that you are hurting from its actions. Reassure that part of you that you love and is thankful for their positive intention but ask nicely for that part to trust in the greater you that you will protect yourself so they don’t have to keep up the self doubt.
5. As you keep reassuring that you love them (the isolated part) and that you are safe and taken care of, you should start to experience that side lighten up.
6. Slowly imagine the isolated part returning to you as a whole and thank it once again. You may also physical join your hands together to signify the reunion of your soul to itself.

As mentioned earlier, this is only one method for resolving the issue yourself. You will likely need to repeat the process for different negative forces within you. However, hypnotherapy, psychotherapy, neuro-linguistic programming, and other holistic healing modalities.

If you’ve done this process correctly, it should significantly reduce or possibly even eliminate the feeling of an Impostor or inadequacy.

It all comes down to owning yourself, even if you are learning, acknowledge that you are still learning and that you may make mistakes and that it’s ok to do so because you will make the effort to correct any mistakes too. Having that compassion and self love and reminding yourself daily will slowly overwrite your negative voices. And if you have friends and family who’s willing to support you and remind you, that’s even better. Just remember to love yourself always as Love is the universal healing power in itself.