Grace in a Cup of Tea: A Lesson in Leadership
Advice from Women Who Lead
Not long ago, I met a petite but fierce woman named Dhanpati in a resettlement area outside Delhi. The day was bitter cold. We sat in her unfinished two-room house, with pink walls, that lacked heat, water and a toilet. She lacked formal title, but our investment company, SEWA Grih Rin, had lent to her based on character: she had a near-perfect record of repayment.
Dhanpati shared the story of watching bulldozers flatten her home of 15 years during a slum clearance, of living in a tent with her ten family members for seven years, of scraping together what she could, and borrowing from the moneylender to build the informal house in which we were meeting. Not once did she complain.
At one point, she offered me a tiny, steaming cup of tea. I gulped its milky sweetness greedily, and nearly accepted her immediate offer of a second cup, when I noticed her young family watching, waiting for me to be sated before they served themselves. I paused at their grace.
In giving more than she had herself, Dhanpati humbled me to take less than I desired. This was dignity: the grace of the universe in a thimble-sized cup of tea.
In that moment, I questioned whether I had lost some of my own grace in the constant distraction and mad pace of my life. I think I have, though I’m working on it.
Leadership that starts by understanding one another, by seeing each other, requires a sort of slowing down, of paying attention, of presence. It is so important: We will not have dignity as a human race until everyone of us has dignity.
If we could each take a moment to experience awe each day, whether in the beauty of the 0rdinary or in the face of someone many would rather not see, we might discover the chance to reconnect with the human parts of ourselves that are yearning to shine. If we could see ourselves in one another, we could not exploit each other.
This was Dhanpati’s gift to me: the importance of presence, and the possibility of love and grace in a simple cup of tea.
