Love More, Not Less
Advice from Women Who Lead
Love more, not less. That’s the lesson I’ve learned again and again.
I first met Lilly when I was 23. She came to the U.S. from Jamaica at the age of 15, to work as a nanny for a family who promised her a U.S. high school education and a salary that would be sent home weekly, to support her family in Jamaica.
She lived and worked with that family for 15 years, helping them raise three children. Her employers, however, cut off all communication to the outside world, never allowed her to attend school, never sent her salary home to her family, and restricted her every move.
At the age of 30, she finally escaped and found my organization, and I helped her seek justice.
In talking with her about her options, she made it clear that whatever happened, she did not want to press criminal charges.
She did not want the children that she loved and cared for to grow up without their parents.
Despite everything that she went through, she was compassionate and generous. I think of her often, particularly in times of anger, especially in moments when I feel under siege.
The hardest moments for me, as a leader, have been moments that have come when I’ve taken a leadership risk and felt vulnerable or exposed, criticized or judged. In those moments, it’s easy to harden, to put up a defensive armor, or to dehumanize the people who’ve criticized you.
And in those moments, I connect to the power of Lilly’s generosity, and the way that she got bigger and chose to love more, not less. And that would be my advice. Love more, not less, especially when you’re inclined otherwise.
