How to Win Gods and Influence People
Persuasion, Psychology and Prayer
Have you ever been in a situation where you needed to ask someone for a favor, and you didn’t know how? Have you ever tried to pitch an idea to business partners, make a sale, or negotiate a deal?
Many books have been written on the subject. A time-tested classic is Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. His approach can be roughly summarized like this: Put the other person first. Successful transactions necessitate viewing and arguing from your opponent’s point of view.
While Carnegie presents many useful techniques, his evidence for their effectiveness is mostly anecdotal. Nonetheless, a number of his maxims can be matched to psychological phenomena that have been researched by psychologists and found effective in several studies.
One of these is the Ben Franklin Effect — named after one of its most famous users. It refers to the surprising phenomenon that people like a person more if they have done them a favor. Benjamin Franklin knew this as an “old maxim” and applied it successfully by asking a political rival to lend him a book, which led to them becoming friends for life.
Just how old this maxim is, we will see in a moment.
This effect has been confirmed in a 1969 study by Jecker and Landy¹. They relate the phenomenon to cognitive dissonance: When a person does a favor for a stranger or even someone they dislike, they lack justification for it. Therefore, they conclude (subconsciously) that they must have done it because they do like the person after all — to reduce cognitive dissonance and increase consistency.
A similar principle underlies the Foot-in-the-Door Effect as first studied by Freedman and Fraser in 1966². Complying with a small favor increases the likelihood of granting a (related) larger favor later on. Like the Benjamin Franklin Effect, this is thought to stem from our general need to be consistent. Once we take a small step into a direction — any direction — we seek to act in accordance with it in the future.
Carnegie was well aware of these tendencies when he suggested: “Get the other person saying ‘yes, yes’ immediately.” He spends a full chapter on this consistency principle. But he spends many more on another: Positive labeling.
In essence, people tend to act according to the labels they are assigned, in particular, if they have reason to believe the label is given honestly³. So, Carnegie suggests beginning with sincere praise, and more generally, simply giving a person a “fine reputation to live up to”, to “appeal to the nobler motives”. Everybody wants to think of themselves as good, after all. This is the reason why the phrase “thank you for your understanding” after informing someone of an inconvenience has become so common.
Another interesting aspect of this research is that initiating a dialogue before making a request also increases the chances of a positive outcome. Adding a label increases the chances even more³.
I would argue that a sub-form of positive labeling is any action that shows respect for another person. Carnegie suggests: “Make the other person feel important — and do it sincerely.” By showing respect or appreciation for a person, you implicitly assign them a positive label — namely that they are respectable and worthy of appreciation.
To summarize, we looked at the consistency principle and the power of positive labeling as psychological phenomena. Both can be used effectively in situations where you need to ask a favor. If you’d like to get a video overview of these techniques and tips on how to use them in your everyday life from a behavioral analyst, I warmly suggest The Behavioral Arts on YouTube.
As Benjamin Franklin himself noted, these techniques are old. More specifically, we find them in the oldest work of European literature — Homer’s Iliad.
Old Maxims
Of course, you can learn about persuasion techniques from modern literature, memorize the principles, and apply them.
Or, you can keep in mind the very short prayers from the Iliad that I will present here because they exemplify all you need to effectively persuade someone to help you.
There are many fascinating aspects of ancient Greek religion — the focus on reciprocity, artistic expression, community, and practicality, to name a few. And the basic Greek prayer formula touches on many of them.
Let’s break it down by looking at the two most famous prayer scenes in the Iliad: Chryses’ prayer to Apollon and Achilles’ prayer to Zeus.
Chryses is Apollon’s priest, and the Iliad opens with his attempt to ransom his daughter from the Greek army. She was kidnapped and taken as a war prize by Agamemnon, the leader of the Achaeans/Danaans (i.e., Greeks). After Agamemnon harshly rejects, insults, and threatens Chryses, the priest turns to his god in prayer:
Hear me, you of the silver bow, who have under your protection Chryse and sacred Cilla, and who rule mightily over Tenedos, Smintheus, if ever I roofed over a pleasing shrine for you, or if ever I burned to you fat thigh pieces of bulls or goats, fulfill for me this wish: let the Danaans pay for my tears by your arrows.
- Iliad Book 1, l.37ff
As Chryses calls on Apollon, he uses labeling — he invokes Apollon as a protector of his lands and highlights how mightily Apollon rules over them. He also uses two of Apollon’s epithets, a feature of ancient Greek that is hard to capture in English: Argyrotoxos (of the silver bow) and Smintheus (which may be related to protection from mice). Then he reminds Apollon of their past relationship, namely, services that Chryses has performed for the god. This is a form of appeal to consistency. Within the context of Chryses being his priest, it is reasonable to assume a previous exchange of favors as well. This is supported by Apollon’s immediate anger and swift reaction. The prayer ends with the actual request — vengeance.
Now let’s compare this with Achilles’ prayer, which is more formal. He cleans a special cup that he only uses for libations (i.e., drink offerings) to Zeus, washes his hands, pours out some wine as an offering, and speaks:
Zeus, lord, Dodonaean, Pelasgian, who dwell afar, ruling over wintry Dodana — and about you live the Selli, your interpreters, men with unwashed feet who sleep on the ground. Just as before you heard me when I prayed — you honoured me, and mightily struck the army of the Achaeans — so now also fulfill for me this wish. [Success and safe return from the battle for Patroklos and his soldiers.]
- Iliad Book 16, l.233ff
Again, we have the same basic pattern: Achilles uses labeling as he addresses Zeus, highlighting the places the god rules over, as well as his prophets. Then he employs the consistency principle: Achilles reminds Zeus that he granted his previous prayer, and immediately follows up with his new request. Since they have previously exchanged favors, it is only natural that Zeus would hear him again. And he does, even if he only grants half of the wish.
Achilles’ prayer is more formal because it is preceded by purification and an offering of wine. This was likely the norm in ancient Greece, though, impromptu prayers like that of Chryses were not unheard of.
To summarize, the ancient Greek prayer formula can be described like this:
- Purification & offerings — Show of respect as a form of labeling
- Calling on the deity with titles that highlight their status or past actions — Labeling
- Reminder of the previous relationship — Consistency
- Request
Of course, there are many variations of this basic formula. Simon Pulleyn has dedicated an entire book to prayer in ancient Greek religion⁴. But I find the basic overview given above a good starting point for understanding the meaning of these prayers.
Kharis
I appreciate practicality. The ancient Greek religion was very practical. The notorious animal sacrifices benefited humans more than the deities. The gods received the thigh bones (inedible) and fat (to make the bones burn) — the human worshipers ate most of the meat. Sacrifice was ritualized butchering, followed by a community feast.
The same trend can be observed in the prayers. Sure, you could call them transactional — I gave you this, so now give me that — you helped me before, now help me again, and I’ll make offerings.
But there’s so much more to this.
Just like the sacrifices mainly served the community, the prayers did, too. They model how to build trusting relationships. The “persuasion techniques” encoded in them highlight psychological phenomena that only make sense in society.
The clear focal point here is reciprocity — which hinges on the consistency principle. This type of reciprocity was so important to ancient Greek religion that it had its own name: Kharis — from the Greek word χαίρω (khairo, “to rejoice”, “to take pleasure in”). When humans worship gods, they build kharis with them. They enter a dialogue. And this was thought to be the basis of why the gods respond to prayers.
Modern research shows that this is also the basis for humans responding to prayers.
If this is one of the deeper meanings of ancient Greek prayer it also explains why the gods themselves are often shown making offerings, like on the famous cup from Delphi pictured at the beginning of this article.
We are creatures of community. And it seems so are the Olympians.
Footnotes
1: Jecker, J., & Landy, D. (1969). Liking a Person as a Function of Doing Him a Favour. Human Relations, 22(4), 371–378. https://doi.org/10.1177/001872676902200407
2: Freedman, Jonathan & Fraser, Scott. (1966). Compliance Without Pressure: The Foot-in-the-Door Technique. Journal of personality and social psychology. 4. 195–202. https://doi.org/10.1037/h0023552
For more recent studies, see:
- Dolan, Paul & Galizzi, Matteo M. (2015) Like ripples on a pond: Behavioral spillovers and their implications for research and policy. Journal of Economic Psychology. 47. 1–16, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.joep.2014.12.003
- Meineri, Sebastien & Dupré, Mickaël. (2021). An Offer They Can’t Refuse: The Foot-In-The- Why Paradigm. North American Journal of Psychology. 23. 361–384, https://www.researchgate.net/publication/360644022_An_Offer_They_Can't_Refuse_The_Foot-In-The-_Why_Paradigm
3: Tomasz Grzyb, Dariusz Dolinski & Wojciech Marek Kulesza (2021) Dialogue and labeling. Are these helpful in finding volunteers?, The Journal of Social Psychology, 161:1, 63–71, https://doi.org/10.1080/00224545.2020.1758017
4: Pulleyn, S. (1997). Prayer in Greek religion. Oxford University Press.
