Terms & Conditions
a poem about parenthood
After careful consideration
and reading all of the small print, I realize
that I made a terrible mistake when I signed up for parenthood
I would like at least a partial refund
I believe that there has been
a grave episode of mis-selling in parts
look at the cost/benefit analysis section of the contract
there was no mention of how brief it is
From my own experience
of being small, and childhood and all of that
I was under the illusion that childhood is long and looping
and that parenting would be the same shape
Not that it would be so brief
one page of scribbles in my life’s story
such short years of love and joy and bedtime stories and cuddles
and breakfast pancakes, you know what I mean
No, I think I was mis-sold
and gave my heart away without due thought
and there were insufficient caveats reminding me of all the risks
like “sometimes being proud still feels like a loss”
A partial refund, then, please
in recognition of my partial fault
because I only skim-read all the details, ignoring the subheadings
so keen was I to get to the fun parts
(and I’ll keep the kids too, of course, that part’s non-negotiable)
