Why He Didn’t Call
Three reasons you got ghosted
You went on a great date. You’ve played it cool but you still haven’t heard from him. Why hasn’t he called? The date went well, didn’t it?
There are three reasons that guy isn’t calling.
There was no mutual connection
Within minutes of meeting up with him for your first date, you were overcome with excitement. He was absolutely perfect and gave you butterflies. After an amazing date and a quick kiss good night you were in love and convinced that he was “the one.”
Unfortunately, that first date was also your last and you haven’t heard from him since. Why?
Quite simply, he didn’t feel the same way. He’s not a bad guy, but he’s not going to call you back. It happens. In fact, it happens more often than not.
Lack of mutual attraction isn’t anyone’s fault and it’s certainly nothing to feel bad about. So what if he doesn’t feel the same way about you? 99% of the people on this planet aren’t going to be right for you.
Onto the next guy waiting to take you out!
He’s a jerk
Sometimes, no matter how smart, funny, and ridiculously good-looking you are, guys are jerks.
It’s not that you didn’t make a good impression; quite the opposite. You spent so much time getting ready, picking an outfit, putting on makeup, doing your hair.
Seven hours of prep time for three hours at Olive Garden in hopes of something magical and sometimes the never-ending breadsticks end up being the highlight of your evening.
If you really put your best foot forward, the reason you didn’t hear from him has nothing to do with you. He high-tailed it out of there because he knows you’re not going to put up with his bullshit.
Maybe you were clear you’re looking for something substantial and he’s only interested in booty calls. Maybe he’s not looking to settle down. Maybe he’s actually married. And maybe you’re better off.
Of course, you have no way of knowing if this is the case. You may have to accept a lack of communication as communication. If he doesn’t appreciate all you have to offer, it’s his loss. Thank him for showing himself the door.
The third and final possibility is the one that’s going to sting the most so brace yourself; you’ve been warned.
You don’t deserve a phone call
Did you behave in a way that demanded respect and consideration? If you can honestly answer “Hell yes” to that question, then stop reading. This doesn’t apply to you.
But if you can’t answer “yes” to that question, I strongly advise you to take a long, hard look in the mirror before you go pointing fingers and demonizing the entire male species. Maybe, just maybe, it’s you.
Allow me to provide you with an illustrative, though extreme, example to support my point.
A guy friend set up an online dating profile hoping to meet a nice girl. He’s a handsome guy so his picture got him some attention, but his charming wit also shone through in 500 words or less. Not surprisingly, he was bombarded with messages from a variety of women.
He replied to one of them asking about her hobbies and interests in an effort to get to know her better.
She responded by telling him how much she loves fucking and hopes he’s into threesomes because she and her friend would like to [I’m-not-sure-how-that’s-physically-possible-but-I’ll-take-your-word-for-it].
Clearly, these two aren’t looking for the same thing when it comes to a relationship. He’s a nice guy who’s looking for something meaningful (yes, ladies, they exist!).
Threesome Cindy, not so much. She clearly had other intentions if she’s bringing up [tilt-your-head-sideways-and-it-still-doesn’t-make-sense] right out the gate, so a meaningful committed relationship is immediately off the table.
But that didn’t stop him from meeting up with her (against my advice). Can’t say I blame him. It’s one of those things where you don’t necessarily want to do it but you feel like you have to just to say you did.
So yes, he took her out for drinks. Though I can’t comment on what actually happened, I know he did not call her back and he certainly did not feel guilty about it.
Why call her back? She got what she wanted. End of transaction, right?
For him, definitely. But for her, not so much, judging from the 17 missed calls, 3 voicemails, and 27 text messages demanding an explanation.
Here’s the thing. Trashtastic tactics will get a response for sure. But be prepared to get exactly what you ask for and nothing more.
If you offer yourself up like fast food at a drive-thru window, he’s not coming back until the next time he gets drunk and needs a 3 am Taco Bell fix.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Taco Bell. But I’m not bragging about it to my friends. I’m not bringing it home to my family.
I eat it in secret, late at night after I’ve made a number of other bad decisions I hope no one finds out about.
You may not realize it but YOU set the tone. If you want to be adored for the kick-ass, awe-inspiring woman you are, insist on it. Demand it.
You can’t act like a trash monster and then be upset when you’re treated like one. If you want more, have more to offer, and ARE more, then act like it. Your results will vastly improve.
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