Why Your New Year’s Resolutions Will Fail Again This Year

When will you learn?

Iva Ursano
Dec 31, 2020 · 6 min read

Here we go. New Year New Me crap has officially arrived. Joy oh bliss. The proverbial *New Year’s Resolutions* have been made and set, in stone, er I mean sand.

How did your resolutions turn out for you in 2020? Haha! Ya, that’s just me being a total bitch. I have my moments. If you’re wondering how mine went, they didn’t. I don’t make ’em anymore.

Forgive me for sounding so, oh what’s the word, negative? Sarcastic perhaps? We’ll go with the latter as I try to stay away from negative stuff of all kinds, especially my blog posts.

So, yes, it’s new year’s resolution time again as everyone gets ready to set themselves up for another year of misses, failures, and disappointments.

It still baffles me as to why we do this to ourselves. And besides, where did this resolution baloney stuff come from anyway? Glad you asked. I did some research and found the answer for you.

The origin of new year’s resolutions

I seriously had no idea where this idea of new year’s resolutions originated. Did you guys know?

Well, I had to Google it and discovered this:

- it started about 4000 years ago with the Babylonians promising the Gods they will behave (what did they do that long ago that would be so bad anyway?) and in return, they hoped the Gods would reward them with abundance so they could pay their debts (um, debts, like their cell phone bill?? colour me clueless).

Anyway, here we are 4000 years later, promising ourselves to behave (oh yes, we’re bad) in hopes of great rewards (you need a miracle to pay your cell phone bill).

This year I’m going to quit………(insert lie here)………

Oh don’t get me wrong, there was a day I stood tall and declared with the utmost of confidence “This year I am going to quit…………(and it was usually smoking)”. I told everyone. I mean you have to tell the whole world, right?

I mean EVERYONE has to know! Dammit, this is THE year!

Of course, it wasn’t but I would never know that until February. I think once I might have lasted until April.

How many of you have proudly declared “This year I am going to quit……….whatever it is you need to drop”. And how many of you missed your mark? *Show of hands please* Don’t feel bad.

According to Forbes, only 8% of us actually succeed. Kudos to you guys. The rest of us have some serious work to do.

So when did I stop making new years resolutions and why?

In all honesty, I literally just stopped a few years ago. I was tired of setting myself up for great disappointment and stressing myself out. Why was I putting myself through that? It was ridiculous.

Every year I would tell 50 people or so I was quitting smoking and posted it all over my Facebook wall.

Every day I was smoke-free I bragged about it, cheers of congratulations poured in, and then whammo, it all stopped. And I smoked my cigarette in shame, hanging my head, looking at my Facebook wall and thinking to myself, “you’re such a loser”.

Every year I did this. It was nothing but pure mental anguish and torture.

So why then did I do this to myself every year? It made no sense. Why did I set myself up for this massive disappointment, year after year? Every damn year I set out new year’s resolutions and within two months I was labeling myself the biggest loser.


It wasn’t just quitting smoking either. It was other new year’s resolutions, other “ideas” I had that I was sure I was going to accomplish:

  • hit the gym 5 days a week,
  • stop eating sugar (get serious Iva, that will NEVER happen),
  • stop biting my nails (which I don’t do anymore, phew),
  • be more organized in my work
  • eat healthier
  • bla bla bla

you name it, I made a resolution about it.

But wait, it’s not just me, we all do that. There’s comfort in that for me. I’m not the only one. But I was ready to burn the resolution sign and trade it in for something that might even actually work.

And I found something, and it worked.

Let’s make goals and take action

I’ve decided to replace new years resolutions with goals. What do I want to achieve that is actually feasible within a reasonable time frame without driving myself crazy?

I set out to do this and these are the steps I took:

  • I grabbed myself a bright neon pink bristle board (‘poster board’ for the Americans here) and a black magic marker,
  • taped that sucker to my wall,
  • wrote the things I really wanted to achieve
  • gave them all dates and
  • look at that thing every fucking day.

The more I looked at it and read what I had to, the more determined I was to do it. I told no one. Only myself. There was no peer pressure. No shouts of encouragement.

Just me, myself, and I saying “you got this girl, let’s do this”.

What happened next still amazes me. By the end of the year, I had achieved every single thing on that board minus one (I’ll leave this one to the universe). I knocked every one out of the park! Victory!

Yes! I get it now. It works.

I gave myself a gift this year

So this year I decided to give myself a Christmas gift, something I never do. I gave myself the gift of life and quit smoking, yet again. See, I chose a date for this but it wasn’t January 1st.

I picked a date that meant something to me.

And I didn’t have to put this on my bristle board. This goal burns inside of me every damn day. We’ll see how it goes.

Stop using 2020 as an excuse

Oh and by the way, yes 2020 sucked. A lot. Even for me. My entire online business collapsed and I’m back at rock bottom again but that’s not gonna stop me from having goals and forging ahead. I don’t give a fuck what year it is, I still have dreams and visions.

And you need to stop using 2020 as an excuse as to why shit didn’t work. Ok, we get it. We all fucking get it. It didn’t work. None of it worked. It was brutal. You need to keep going, pushing forward, making new goals, refocusing, just fucking go!!!

Don’t you dare give up on any of your dreams, hopes, goals, visions, anything.

Say no to resolutions and yes to smashing goals any day of the year!

So you see, for me, new year’s resolutions suck and I will never make another one for as long as I live. And neither should you.

I want you to think about something for one second. Let’s say it’s the middle of July and you have an amazing idea or a new goal. Are you gonna wait until January 1st to implement it? Of course not, why would you?

You’re gonna chase that idea right away. So why wait for the new year for anything you want to accomplish? Oh I know I know, new year, new me, fresh start.

Every day is a fresh start. Every morning is a new you. Every fucking day. Capiche?

Peace and Love.

ox iva xo


A work of art made by grouping found or unrelated objects.

Iva Ursano

Written by

Self help Guru|Expat|Website: https://amazingmemovement.com/ mini self help eBook series here: https://books.amazingmemovement.com/


A collection of things or people. An object made of pieces fitted together. A work of art made by grouping found or unrelated objects. A publication on Medium.

Iva Ursano

Written by

Self help Guru|Expat|Website: https://amazingmemovement.com/ mini self help eBook series here: https://books.amazingmemovement.com/


A collection of things or people. An object made of pieces fitted together. A work of art made by grouping found or unrelated objects. A publication on Medium.

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