It’s 8:30 at night. It doesn’t matter what day of the week it is, what matters is that you’re feeling restless and need to go out. Your friends are exhausted from work but that doesn’t matter to you. You know that you don’t need them to have a good time. So what do you do? You could just stay in and order a pizza. Seems like an appropriate thing to do at any hour of the day but it won’t help with the fact that you need to get out. It’s tearing you up inside. But here’s the problem, what are you in the mood for? 9/10 times it’s music. That has been the answer for almost everything since the dark ages. Of course in the dark ages music was all monotone and was only allowed in the churches (who am I kidding, church. Other religions clearly didn’t exist until King Henry the 8th was all ‘grr I want to divorce my wife’) and to make it even better, there weren’t instruments used whatsoever. Nonetheless, live music seems like the best solution for your restless night. Now all you have to do is figure out how you are going to allow yourself to go to a bar alone to listen to music.
This is a problem I battle almost every night (I get it, I have a slight drinking…habit). It’s not that I don’t have friends to go out with. One of the problems is that all my friends are the ones in the band. Yet, going out to support them makes me look sad and therefore it clearly makes me lonely because no girl should go to a bar alone like a man does.
Okay yes, the women’s movement has progressed tremendously since…well, basically the dawn of man. But as I sit alone at the bar listening to my friend’s band, I keep my eye on the door. You get everyone walking in. Everyone expect for the ‘single girl’. The sad truth is, if the ‘single girl’ can’t get any of her friends to come out then she is ‘sol’ (shit outta luck) for the night.
Here’s the thing. I’m the single girl at the bar. I love to go out, listen to live music, drink a shit ton of whatever I want and have a good time. There is nothing wrong with that, whether or not if I’m in my twenties. What is wrong is the abuse that I receive from men at the bars and even some women. I get questioned why I’m single (I don’t know why, last time I checked I was awesome), I get asked which member of the band I’m in love with (all of them but, I’m in my twenties so my sex drive is through the roof, hormones. Am I right?) and the worst one of them all: “why are you so cold to all this attention?” because all women clearly love attention from men at the bar…okay, it doesn’t hurt. I don’t dress like an 11/10 to not get second looks. What I don’t want is drunk guys who think they can treat me the way they do because I’m alone and am “dressed a certain way”. I’ve lost a significant amount of weight since grade 9. I’m going to wear whatever I want until I’m 600lbs of fat. I’m not saying I haven’t made out with a guy from the bar (never went home with one. I’m not that type of girl) but those choices were out of my own free will.
It shouldn’t be a problem for a woman to go out alone and have some fun just like a man does. We have far more to fear than being stereotyped as sad and lonely because we chose to do something independently. There are currently clowns terrorizing the streets (which is a scenario taken straight from my nightmares) but, I have been conditioned to worry about what I am wearing and how I am being perceived by the other patrons of the bar. The ‘single girl’ stereotype has got to stop. We have the strength to push a child out of our bodies and yet we chose to be weak. This is more than just going to a bar alone to listen to music. Take a moment and think. How many classes are there for men that specialize in selfdefense in case they get attacked in the street?
I am a girl who just entered what is supposed to be the most fun decade of her life. I shouldn’t have to be scared of walking home or worried about what people will think of me when I wear heels or a shirt that has a lower cut than all the girls who showed up with their significant others.
Also, can we please just automatically kick out the guys at bars who think they can just go up and hug you?