Dear White Girl at the Club
Hi. It’s me. The Black girl whose space you constantly invade? Yeah, hi. I just had a couple of things I’d like to tell you as it’s Friday and we’re all getting ready to go out. There are some things you need to understand about my folks and I before we all head out this evening.
- This ain’t FAME and I’m not Debbie Allen.
I’m a massage therapist, not a dance instructor. Just because the good Lord blessed our melanin-rich forms with the ability to move on the 2 and 4, this power does not come with the responsibility to stop our fun to teach you how to hit the Quan. I’m not Bagger Vance and even Black girl magic has its limitations. YouTube is full of tutorials. Learn in your free time.
2. This isn’t “Save the Last Dance”.
Sis. This isn’t some white-centered teen dance drama. I’m not the Kerry Washington to your Julia Stiles. You are not going to prove how down you are or assert some kind of dominance over me on the dance floor. I mean, for many reasons, but namely you can’t outdance me, boo. Many have tried, in varying levels of aggressiveness, and failed. I see you, girl. You are not slick. I peeped your white boo looking at us. I peeped you peep him checking for us. Don’t embarrass yourself or kill my vibe coming over here thinking that watching Beyoncé videos has somehow made you a good dancer.
3. You’re not invited to our little party.
I know Hollywood has made you think you’re entitled to a sassy, Black sidekick but no, girl. When you see Black women out and about, we are not your de facto “new Black bestie(s)” for the evening. I understand why you want to join our club but you don’t get to come in like the Kool-Aid Man and try to snatch up pieces of Black womanhood as adornments. Even other Black women don’t just dance their way into each other’s spaces. We respect our mutual right to exist in a space of our own making and just enjoy ourselves. You bring the burden of your expectations and stereotypes of Black womanhood into our space when you do this shit. Please cut it out.
On behalf of myself and other carefree Black girls who like to go out, I would really love it if y’all could knock it off. Have fun, just don’t do it at someone else’s (our) expense. Don’t make me take your man to Red Lobster to make a point.
