Fixing Feminism
Jayashree Kumari
Why do I want to address this?
I live in a time where most women around me don’t like to identify themselves as feminists because they think it’s a bad thing and the ones who do identify themselves only understand it on a surface level.
Feminism is not quoting Marilyn Monroe. Feminism is not blindly worshiping women. Feminism does not begin and end with the protection of the interests of women.
Feminism is an ideology that was originally based on uplifting women in every way possible so that they don’t lead a suppressed life in a patriarchal world.
How many of us have heard about black feminism, radical feminism, colonial feminism?
Feminism has really long way to go. And it is something that should be carried on with dignity. Feminism should survive in the true sense and not in a superficial way.
Some things feminists need to know:-
Gender equality means standing on an equal grounds and not higher grounds. Feminism is the push that women need to rise to the level of equal opportunity and then rise through their own capabilities from there on. Feminism is not about putting them on a pedestal and declaring themselves superior to men.
Treat men like you want to be treated by them. Don’t exploit them. Respect them. If once in a while you let them pamper you, pamper them too. Don’t get excessively defensive around them like all of them are out there to harm you. They are not our enemies; they too, have daughters, sisters, and mothers. They too suffer because of patriarchy.
If you are a true feminist, do not cave from what you stand for when you see one of your own suppressing women. If the company you’re surrounded by is saying or doing anything that is unfavourable or demeaning to us, don’t just let it go. Even if it’s your brother commenting on your best friend’s dress, he needs to know that she does not dress to please his eyes. The length of a woman’s clothes is not a measure of her character.
You have to protect women from women too. We can be our biggest enemies by judging each other. The worst thing you can do is look at a woman with disgust for doing something you think is only limited to men. You wouldn’t stare at a man if he was smoking publicly but you would stare at a woman smoking like she’s scarring the society. You wouldn’t stare at a man even if he walks around shirtless but if a woman’s bra strap is out you can’t remain silent without pointing it out to her.
Never use stereotypical phrases. By telling someone “you cry like a girl”, “you run like a girl”, “you throw tantrums like a girl” you are subtly planting a seed in minds of people that we are weak indeed. We are not. We endure. If we have to come up with a stereotypical phrase at all, then why not choose something that empowers us? I don’t know why “endure like a girl” is something we’ve never heard of.
The rights given to you are to protect you and your interests. Don’t mock the efforts made by society and system by misusing those rights for your own advantage. Never use them as threats to exploit men. Don’t revolt 6 days of the week for special treatment that men get and then drink till you’re wasted on a Ladies’ night the 7th.
Living in a patriarchal world you know what it is like to be suppressed. But keep in mind that you’re not the only suppressed gender. You don’t like the differential treatment, others don’t either. You know how unfair it is to be treated differently for the way you were born, so if you really seek equality help others to rise along with you.
In the end, seek a world where you rise to an extent where you don’t need to be referred to as the weaker sex anymore. A world where you don’t need reservation for yourself, where you walk fearlessly, where you are free to be how you really want to be, where before seeing yourself as a woman your see yourself as a human.
