Free Flow Fridays
I’m going to try something new. This will force me to write at least once a week. Free Flow Fridays are going to be posts about whatever comes to my mind when I sit down at the computer. Or something that happened that day. A rant. An opinion. Definitely controversial topics to argue over. It will be messy. These will have little to no structure because as I think, I will type. Here We Go……….
DISCLAIMER: I am by no means justifying rape, sexual harassment towards men or women or anything of the sort. I am not a feminist, but I am also not against feminism. I want this to merely make you think a little. Not piss you off or offend you. Calm Yourself.
Take it from an ugly duckling. Catcalling is not that bad. Yes, calling me sugar tits or asking to titty fuck me on the streets WILL piss me off. A little. I don’t let it ruin my day. I have been overweight and pimply since I entered the 6th grade. I have been since. I’m just now, barely getting away from that look and I am 22 years old. All my friends were much prettier and skinnier and more outgoing than I was. I have a tall blonde bombshell of a friend. I shit you not, some guy thought it would be cool to staple his arm to get her number. I don’t get either. Showing some weird mating ritual I am unaware of? I don’t know, but he did it. My other friend (yes I really only have two girlfriends), is this adorable brunette that is 5 foot tall 100 pounds soaking wet. They are both smoking hot. I’m not afraid to admit it. I never got much attention from boys….or anyone really for that matter. Ever. Until I hit about 20. Ish. Having a guy yell at me “Nice ass” or “Damn. I’d hit that” is flattering to a person that has low self esteem. I.E me. Because of some of these off the wall compliments (and dirty ones) my self esteem has gone up quite a bit. Because I do not take it to heart.
Women today, no matter the age, size, color, flavor, are too easily offended. And some men too. Can’t leave them out. I can see how a man yelling a vulgar compliment at you can take a woman by surprise. But what women forget, is that it is in fact a compliment.
Picture this: You are strolling down the street looking fine. You have your favorite top on that shows just enough boob to tease and pants that make your ass looker rounder than moon (ha. Pun unintended). You got your sunglasses on and your model sway. It’s beautiful day. Why shouldn’t you enjoy it? You round the corner to a kind of lonelier street, but nice all the same. Then an overweight, sweaty, hairy construction worker that is wearing his lunch on his shirt says something like “Hey hot mamma” (I don’t know, don’t ask). Ugh God gross right?! Get away creep!
Picture this: Same awesome outfit. Maybe you pushed the lumpy ladies a little higher today because you got a kick ass bra. DAMN GIRL YOU FINE. If you are a woman reading this, you have this exact outfit and bra in mind, so don’t lie to yourself. Then a tall, dark haired man, wearing nice casual clothing sitting at a table sipping some “Man like coffee”, probably black or some shit. He looks up from reading his Nicholas Sparks novel and says, “Nice tits. Let’s bump uglies and never see each other again.” You know what you’re probably thinking. “Awe. He is so funny and oddly charming” So you giggle a little and walk away.
DO YOU SEE THE FUCKING PROBLEM????
Again, I don’t expect this of all women or all men. I don’t believe all women would see this scenario the same way or react the same way, but either way. Get your Victoria Secret thong out of your ass and take a Xanax. There are far worse things in this world than to worry about vulgar compliments. Don’t marry the guy that cat called you. No weird. Or god who knows? Maybe you guys will actually live happily ever after. Never know until you actually talk to the guy. And by the way, some men are pigs and are catcalling you (like the douch-ay coffee drinker above) because mentally they are still 14. Most women are bitches. But men are just as self-conscious as we are, just as nervous to talk to the hottie walking by, and don’t know how to say what they want confidently. We are all just trying to find love. Some just suck at it more than others.
And Guys? Women lie to you. Sort of. A lot of the time we look hot for ourselves, not you. Makes us feel good. But you bet your ass we wear the tighter shirt, the shorter skirt, and the expensive make up when we go to the bar because either A) we want free drinks or B) we want you to bring us back to your place and bang the cartoon stars into orbit around our pretty little heads so we can forget your name the next morning. We can be just as pervy as you and I know guys can be just as sensitive and pussy-esque like us. Gender roles are a fucking myth.
WARNING — -Saying something is fine. They are words. Sticks and stones, honey. NOW, if they start touching you, following you and mysteriously knowing what ice cream you eat on Saturday nights as you watch Twilight with your cat Edwardo……GTFO. NOW. Creeper Rapey dude alert.
Ladies, get over yourself. Take it from an ugly duckling. A compliment is a compliment. Don’t let it ruin your day. If you got it….ROCK THOSE TITS. SHAKE THAT ASS. LOVE YOURSELF.
Got all the pics from google. Always. Just to see what shit I can find.
