Is He Going To Buy The Cow If He Can Get The Milk For Free?

Grace Whitley
May 20, 2018 · 3 min read

“He’s not going to buy the cow if he can get the milk for free.”

Have you heard this before? Maybe not in those exact words, but the concept… That ‘he’ (read: the man) isn’t going to buy the cow (read: the woman) if he can get the milk (read: sex) for free? You may have heard it from a concerned parent who wants their daughter to be ‘treated right’, from a friend explaining their actions, or from (one of many) movies. Regardless, this concept seems ubiquitous to millennials. But it’s wrong in so many ways…

from: https://goo.gl/v4Ry2q
  • It commodifies sex. This concept turns sex into something that must be worked for, or given away. Instead of something that two people choose to do together, it turns it into a bartering chip. And yes, that is the case sometimes — like in the sex industry. But in regular relationships, sex shouldn’t be doled out by one person and ‘gotten’ by the other. It’s a game for two!

So, in conclusion, I think it’s only fair to rephrase this silly concept (using the original metaphors of course):

He wants the cow, despite having already consumed plenty of its milk. He doesn’t have to buy the cow, because the cow wants to be with him too (and it doesn’t want to be bought anyway). The end.

Athena Talks

A hub of conversation to help young women mature, budding professionals become leaders and leaders become advocates for equality.

Grace Whitley

Written by

Writing is what I do instead of sleeping. notsexistbut.com Feminist, chemist, protagonist. Made in NZ.

Athena Talks

A hub of conversation to help young women mature, budding professionals become leaders and leaders become advocates for equality.

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