Ladies, Stop Being Afraid of Your Ambition
It never occurred to me until I was in my late teens that being ambitious and having a vagina weren’t socially acceptable.
I was never outwardly rebellious. But I’ve never not done something because a stranger told me I couldn’t or shouldn’t. If I didn’t do something, it was because it was either a) dangerous, b) could hurt someone, or c) I wanted to watch Charmed instead.
A lot of females aren’t as headstrong as I am, though.
I’ve seen many talented females fall into the trap of being too afraid to have or show ambition, so they end up achieving very little. Or worse — nothing at all!
I’ve seen many successful females dance around questions of ambition for fear of being seen as less likeable.
And ambitious females do get seen that way. Professor Frank Flynn conducted an experiment where 50% of his students read a case study about a female venture capitalist, and 50% read a case study about a male venture capitalist. The content was the same. But the male was seen as more likeable. The female was seen as selfish.
Leadership Psychology Institute sums it up nicely:
The assertive, authoritative, and dominant behaviors that people link with leadership tend not to be viewed as attractive in women.
If that isn’t society and gender bias trying to tell us that it’s unacceptable to be ambitious, I don’t know what is.
But, ladies, a lot of that is on us, too.
You have the power to decide whom you listen to. If someone tells you not to do something, or that you can’t be something, you have the power to tell them to fuck off.
You have the power to say that you can do something, that you can be whatever you damn like.
You have the power to decide whom you listen to.
Society doesn’t get to control you.
You control you.
If the people around you drag you down, move on.
If the people around you drag you down, move on.
Make new, nicer friends.
Ditch your unsupportive partner who perpetuates gender stereotypes.
Apply for a new job you’re only partially qualified for because you know you’ll fit in culturally. (That’s what the guys do, and it works for them!)
Attitude breeds attitude.
It’s not just about positivity.
It’s more than that (I’m really not a positive person — I’m quite the cynic).
It’s about confidence.
It’s about being comfortable with who you are.
It’s about self-awareness.
Most importantly…
It’s about having a support network that builds you up and wouldn’t ever dream of dragging you down.
You can be a politician.
You can be a CEO.
You can be prime minister or president or whatever your country’s equivalent is.
But first, you have to be willing to disappoint people.
You have to be willing to follow your own path.
You have to be willing to follow your own path and not the yellow brick road that’s been laid out for you by the patriarchy.
You have to be tenacious and hardworking and inspired.
And most importantly, you have to be ambitious.
Aim high.
Not because you’ll land among the stars (cringe), but because you’ll only find out who you are and what you’re capable of when you truly push yourself.
You’ll only find out who you are and what you’re capable of when you truly push yourself.
If you don’t, you’ll still be doing the same thing in 10, 20, even 30 years’ time that you are now.
And I don’t know about you, but I sure hope I’m not still in the same position in 10 years’ time that I’m in now.
Not because it’s a bad position, but because life is a journey. And I want to keep travelling.
If I keep learning and growing now, who knows where I’ll be next year, let alone when I’m almost 40?
If I don’t put the work in, I’ll never know.
And neither will you.
Want more inspiration?
Check out my books. They cover everything from productivity to relationships and everything in between.
