Letter From Female Founder to Male Investor

I used to go to school with a girl named Sadie. Back then, she was a fitness instructor of the most intense AND fun workout campus had to offer. I remember actually looking forward to working out rather than dreading it. Her energy is contagious and she has this unique ability to motivate us to push beyond our boundaries.

A few years later, she’s Founder & CEO of 305 Fitness, a chain of dance cardio workouts with a live DJ in New York City, Washington D.C., and Boston, with international pop-up experiences in the Hamptons, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Chicago, Miami, and Berlin. She’s raised $3 million and successfully grew the business straight out of school. To say that I’m happy for her would be an understatement. Her success is very well deserved.

But today, I want to share something different. Sadie, like myself, is a feminist. Her classes are not just about dances or workout, they are about body positivity, female empowerment, and self-growth. As a female founder who had to raise money, work with hundreds of people, and hustle in the fitness industry, Sadie had to face many facets of sexism. She‘s used her platform to leverage the voices of female founders and women. Below is a letter she sent to a man who is a powerful and influential investor, which Sadie has generously given us the permission to share with Athena Talks readers. I’m sure you have read many stories about sexual harassment between female founder and male investor, but this is more than just a story of exposure. It is a story about courage, honesty, and strength. I hope you learn from it.

Hi (name),

I hope you’re doing well.

I wanted to share an experience we had together and how it affected me.

When we first met, I was 23 and was just starting my business. I saw the tremendous influence you had. You had a large twitter following and access to many successful, wealthy people. I was thrilled when you asked me to speak at the wellness conference. I stayed up all night to practice my speech. When you told me I did a great job, I was on cloud 9. I was deeply grateful you were opening doors for me. I felt really lucky to know you.

We met a few months later to talk about 305. I knew you were a serial investor and at the time I came to talk to you, I was desperate for money. I had signed a 10 year lease and publicly announced our first studio opening, to discover the build-out would unexpectedly cost nearly $1M. No one wanted to invest or give me the light of day. I was $700K short and truly had no idea where to turn.

I was excited and hopeful for our meeting. I was hoping you would invest or point me in the direction of someone who would invest.

I was completely in awe of your power, influence, and access to money. The person who introduced us had described you as a “big teddy bear.” I looked to you as a mentor.

What I remember is that we met for over two hours in your very impressive office. My palms were sweaty the entire time.

I was also very on edge during our meeting because you repeatedly got distracted, stopped asking questions about the business and instead about my personal life (my relationship status, my age, etc). At one point, you looked me in the eyes (in what I interpreted as a very flirtatious and direct way) and said something along the lines of “I feel a very special connection with you, one that I don’t ever feel. I don’t think you understand how you make me feel.” When I laughed nervously and tried to change the subject, you pressed on. “No really, you are a very special person. I feel very drawn to you. Do you understand what I am saying?”

You were 20 years my senior and a millionaire. We sat in your office, on the 20th floor, overlooking Central Park.

It all made me feel confused and uncomfortable. I was almost certain you were suggesting you were sexually attracted to and wanted something from me.

I fielded questions from you and looks that made me uncomfortable because I *desperately* needed money. I had overcommitted by nearly a million dollars. I was 24 years old, I had no business partners and I sincerely thought I would go to jail if I couldn’t pay the money.

When I pressed you for more of an answer, you finally acknowledged you had no intent of ever investing. I felt a pit in my stomach.

I swallowed my pride and smiled politely and said I hoped you would introduce me to someone who might be interested in investing.

I left your high-rise office. I threw up outside Central Park. I sobbed big, heaving sobs.

I called my close relative — who had been molested and raped by our great uncle for 10 years — and told her I felt worthless. I had grown up with very real stories of how men could do terrible, dangerous, unspeakable things.

I was also angry. I wasted 2 hours at a time when I really needed to focus on raising this money.

What hurt me most about our interaction was that it genuinely led me to question the worth of my business. Because you took no interest in the numbers or the vision, and you are a respected investor, I understood my only worth to be in my looks.

$3M raised later with a successful profitable business, I understand this isn’t true.

I also know all of this is highly subject to interpretation. You may not remember this meeting. You may have been looking at this much innocuously than I have. But I hope this message touches or moves you in some way. You have tremendous influence and power and I hope you can empathize with how I felt.

Sincerely wishing you the best.

Sadie

Now I’m happy to report that since sending the letter, Sadie has received a sincere apology from aforementioned investor with no justification or explanation, which she very much appreciates. Unfortunately, not all women’s experiences with men who have negatively affected them result in understanding and reconciliation like this one. What I’ve learned from her story is not just how she deals with the man during the experience, but also how she decides to confront him afterwards, rather than silencing herself.

What about you? Have you ever had a similar experience? We at Athena Talks would love to hear your voices — email us at Stories@AMiPublications.com. This is a safe place for you to share and be vulnerable. Vulnerability is strength. Let’s rise together.