Just in time for Mother’s day…
The time has come to share my exciting news! It’s got to the point where it can’t be hidden, we are expecting a baby boy in August! To say that we are happy is an understatement!
I took my time to write this post for various reasons, although I love having a space to write about my life and topics that interest and inspire me, I don’t tend to write a huge amount about my personal life on EAMR, and I didn’t want to be labelled, as a maternity or “mummy” blog. Maybe because this is a moment in my life in which I am consolidating what it means to be me: a woman, a feminist, an entrepreneur and now a mum to be.
In our society, it’s almost as if, to be born a woman means being born with the guilt of Eve, eternally responsible for the misdemeanours of the men of the world; the sentence, a painful childbirth, joint with an inherent responsibility to “take care” of everything, to do everything, “to be” everything, but of course within limits that don’t provoke or threaten the male of the species. Have you ever noticed that a man with a career, family and social life is never held up a poster child for having it all? Or the fact that a man who mucks in and does his part in changing nappies and giving bottles is often the subject of doe eyed admiration? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not having a pop at men and I am happy that my partner shares these sentiments. However, becoming a mother is seen as the fulfilment of your role as a woman, a sacrifice, a wonderful one yes, but nevertheless a sacrifice that confirms your validity as a woman, yet men are not held to the same standard. I guess this was something I was always aware of, but it’s suddenly got personal!
To be pregnant means that your mind and body become public property, opinions from well meaning strangers come at you full throttle: what you should be eating, what you shouldn’t be eating, what you should be doing; what you shouldn’t be doing. This approach, whether intentionally or not, ends up infantilising the woman.
To make it worse, some people demonstrate a tangible smugness in telling you how difficult life will be, how you are not prepared and that you will never get your “old” life back! I say; good! Who wants to live in the past anyway? I want to evolve and fix my eyes on the path ahead, but on my terms. Now 6 that I’m months and something pregnant, and have a visible bump, I know that these types of comments are going to become all the more frequent and I know that so many other women out there will identify with me. The best advice anyone has given me to date is just to block out the white noise and not engage.
So from now onwards, expect some posts about motherhood and maternity, as that’s the moment that I am living right now. But don’t worry EAMR is not going to turn into a maternity blog, as that is not the only hat I wear. We’ll talk about pregnancy, yes and I am happy to do so, but there will still be all the other stuff that make up life! Just don’t ask me about my birth plan or treat me like I’m helpless and don’t know how to run my shit, but I will accept that seat on the bus, thanks!