Political correctness, humor, and manners.
I’m really, genuinely, bored with the impertinent “people of the social media” making it sound like it’s so hard to sort out the difference between being appropriate and being a jerk. Not sorting this out for yourself is just an excuse to not contend with being a human living in society.
On Christmas Eve I saw a male FB friend of mine put this post up on his wall:
My first reaction was really? Seriously? In 2017 are you really making a joke about females and driving cars? Then of course came the immediate questioning that women often go to. I said to myself: ah, don’t make such a big deal about it. Then I am reminded that it is 2017 — the year women actually get to say when something is lame, abusive or assaulting. We don’t have to make excuses for inappropriate men anymore.
I would never call the statement abuse or assault, but it is stupid and it is part of the same network of male mediocrity that allows for the abuse and assault to take place.
This man has a master’s degree from a prestigious University, and he has a young daughter. I always new him to be jovial and good spirited. I don’t know what to think of him anymore.
What makes something funny, the heart of humor, is when somebody can point something out that is ironic and meaningful. It is particularly relevant when it is a person making commentary about others they live with. Self-irony, and/or a form of social criticism you could say. When one highlights something poignant, yes, it’s funny! Having someone point out what you see every day, but, never actually articulated — is the nature of humor, and it is a joy to participate in that.
His post is disappointing because it is uninteresting. If you can zing me, or a group I identify with — with a poignant joke, I will gladly laugh along. There is nothing inherently humorous about calling women bad drivers because it’s just statistically not accurate, therefore not true and not funny.
All this former coworker of mine did is make himself look like a middle-aged Bro.
If you exchange the word wife for any ethnic group, or any other gender, this would have been considered an inappropriate post by many of the same people who gave it a “like”or laughing approval. He gets a free pass because it’s just about “the wives.”
Yes, “we women” keep complaining because it is so common to treat the case of being female differently than any other classification.
I am absolutely appalled when I hear that in some of today’s University settings, people feel they cannot have open debate anymore. We learn by hearing the truth of our histories, and, through rigorous debate.
Suffer the pain of reading hard history. It is the way you learn and the way you grow — the way you understand where you came from.
Essentially the whole “confusion and upset” today is fallacious because we’re conflating manners with political correctness.
Manners are about the outward display of appreciation, and not berating someone just because you can. It is the cultural demonstration of the golden rule.
Political correctness stemmed from taking a philosophical look at manners, and how we can apply them to our diverse society today.
The outgrowth from this endeavor that has not been helpful is the stifling of communication.
People should not be terrified to say something for fear that they will offend …if it’s coming from a genuine and honest place.
For example, if you genuinely and honestly would like to ask somebody about their heritage, I am willing to bet you would just like to learn more about that person, and maybe you want to learn something about other cultures.
It is this outgrowth that fuels the rhetoric of the right. Basically, everyone walks around like a nutcase today. Almost everyone is afraid to ask questions to one another: who they are — where they come from. People are afraid to use the wrong pronoun or say the wrong greeting. This is not productive to society. It would behoove us all to be more forgiving and let people just try and connect. If someone addresses you with unintended inaccuracy, then have a conversation with them, and have them learn who you are.
Cracking meaningless jokes about women this year is particularly inappropriate. With the year we have had it is in really bad taste to do so. Timing is everything. We are in a shifting era, we are learning to respect each other’s diversity, and we are finally giving women the credit that they might actually be telling the truth about the disgusting and horrific events that occur in their lives. Cracking a thoughtless joke about women in this environment is massively tone-deaf.
I believe in free speech. I believe that it is only in very extreme cases that speech should be qualified as hate speech and therefore curtailed. I do not consider anything I’ve talked about today to be hate speech. You are welcome to be a tomfool all over your Facebook page. What we don’t see enough of today are people actually openly responding to trite behavior. Troll a stranger, but don’t embarrass your tone-deaf friend?
I think we are all smart enough to conduct that momentary internal audit that will tell us when something is appropriate. Let’s stop blaming political correctness, and take on mastering the art of being thoughtful.
