How my girlfriend was harassed on her first day at work

Long distance relationships are hard to maintain. Not because you don’t feel as close to your significant other as you used to, but perhaps due to the fact that you can’t always be by their side for the best, and worst, moments in their life. One such moment happened, on Monday, as my girlfriend started a new job at a consulting firm in Paris. I live in San Francisco.

A senior consultant in his forties made a pass at her. On her first day. While their male coworkers chuckled. She managed to politely reply that not only was she less than interested, she also had a boyfriend. The consultant retorted:

“tell your boyfriend that here, in this company, everybody sleeps with everybody”

and, as if it were not enough, he added:

“if you think that he’s not having fun in San Francisco”

When I was still a student, I used to think — naïvely — that misogyny was bound to disappear as we got more and more educated. I know that women are systemically disadvantaged in the workplace and receive lower salaries than their male counterparts —even while doing the same job. However, I mistakenly assumed that awareness would hasten sexism’s long-awaited death. Even if I like euphemisms, saying that I was wrong would be beside the point.

First of all, my assumption that education would be negatively correlated to sexist behavior couldn’t have been less true. As we have seen during the 2016 US campaign, it is clear that you can be educated, come from a wealthy background, pursue the highest office in the country, and still not be above virulent sexism towards women.

The same is true of that Parisian consultant and his male colleagues who laughed while their new female coworker was being harassed in front of them. They come from privileged backgrounds, they work in the very chic 8th Arrondissement, graduated from French Grandes Ecoles — in a word they are the élite. Their company prides itself on its diversity and openness. And yet, they behave as if women were not equal to men, as if they were just a comfort to our sexual needs, to be used and not respected.

I know that it is easy to mock my naïvety as many women have endured, and unfortunately will continue to endure, similar moments. Obviously, this is not a new phenomenon but the hypocrisy of people that deem themselves progressive while still objectifying women struck me as particularly despicable.

Sexism happens everywhere and it will continue to happen if we don’t do anything about it. Social changes don’t happen by themselves, they are fought for. If we don’t, women even in the very city where Olympe de Gouges wrote the Declaration of the Rights of Woman and of the Female Citizen in the 18th Century will continue to face rampant sexism.

Act today:

• Donate to an organization that you believe will help stop the harassment and the unfair treatment of women.
• Join a Women’s March.
• Or better yet: just be a decent human-being.